okay... wow... i feel really head floaty uppy... woooo. so tired. yaaaaawwwwn. i'm sitting here, typing ... and i'm just waiting for something good to come on the tv.. .my mom's forcing the sopranos on me. this stuff is filmed in new jersey. ew.
so, by accident i sent ryan an email... it was a collective thing... like i had taken a list from a previous email that i sent a while ago... and i forgot that his screenname was still on the list and sent it anyways... the mail was about just wishing everyone a merry christmas... and to have a safe new year. ...so he wrote back to me saying that he thinks that email was sent to him by accident... but merry christmas anyways.
so then i write back "i dunno, maybe" and he writes back something like.. "i still don't know what i did." and i write back... "i seriously don't want to get into it." and he writes back, "why not... throw me a frikkin bone here. i look like an idiot... just trying to figure out why his friend hates me so much"... me being that friend..... blah. so i wrote back:
"hm. i don't know if i hate you or not... but it doesn't really matter what i think. i haven't talked to you for like... 3 months.. and in fact, the first time that i heard your voice in a while was in english class when nenno forced you to read... i don't know what to say... honestly, my life has been normal and upset-free for three months.. and i don't know if it's because i haven't been talking to you.. or what... i don't know.. i'm weird...
college is coming soon anyways..."
ehh.. whatever... it's no big deal. i could just see this happen... i am totally over him, right... and then he decides that he really likes me.. and that he wants to ask me out.. and i just say no...that would be so twisted if it happened... if that did happen.. i'd probably go out with him.... but that means that i'm not completely over him. i'll have to go back to hating him again... not real hate.. just not talking to him.. which he interprets to be hate... it's a big silly mess, you see.
okay... sleeping pills kicking waaaayyyy in. gnite babes.
