is that you just don't realize how much i loveyou.
(12:47am EST) 9/27/00
wow... where did august and september go.
i'm in new york. living there. going to school.
things are so different.
things are so stressful too.
i'm back with james. we're in a "relationship".
school is... i dunno. i miss home. I miss james.
ugh...
here.. i wrote this.
A Woman and her Window
She gazed through her saddened window
Never truly understanding the panes
She suffered so many heartbreaks
Survived but never remembered
The true feelings of her experience
So she hid in her room
Gazing through that same glass
Day after day
The scenery barely changed
Only from dark to light
And then back again
And she lived on
Grueling through her often-menial life
Without ever truly fulfilling her dreams
For fear of rejection
She never let her heart truly soar
For fear that it would crash and break
And bleed onto the pavement
Just to be stared at by passers-by
So she gave up any chances
That her heart even had at loving
Turned away every man that came close
And turn away, they did.
Never to look back at the figure they used to see
The "cold-hearted" woman they yearned for
The misunderstood gentle girl
The underestimated little child
That no one gave a fair chance
So she continued her gaze
Through that blurred window
Even after life
And beyond death.