wow. I never write anymore. Oh well. No huge loss to you, I suppose. I'm a bigtime New yorker, now. Riiiiight. New Yorker, maybe... bigtime? nah.
same old me. same boring old me.
broke up with james a while ago.. novemberish.. he wanted me back in december.... i told him i needed time... he chose to not give me that... and now he's apparently "playing on the pink team".
ugh.. what a loser.
the worst part about my life is that i seem to visit the past too often.
i should have left james after the first time he fucked up. but what the FUCK DO I DO THEN!!
I GO BACK TO BRYAN! not go back to technically...i mean.. i didn't get with him.
but we hung out this weekend.. and it was really cool.. and he was flirting.. and of course i was flirting back.
what do you think, i'm retarded!? though.. now i do feel i'm retarded. i've been hinting at things all week to him.
telling him that he's a jerk.. and that he's evil.. shit like that.. today i finally told him what i meant.
and his excuse was that he was just "playing around". Such a loser. Why did i waste my time with him??
not even waste time though... i wasted good effort and emotion on him. in just the past three days or so, i've managed to remember the good, old times, and revive them... and wish they were now.
bad, bad bad.. me. bad bad. i can't believe myself. why do i constantly make it a purpose to get myself hurt??
