... i was afraid to talk to you. when i first talked to you, i was afraid to like you. when i first liked you, i was afraid to love you. now that i love you, i'm afraid to lose you.
(2:44pm EST) 3/5/00
hey. ugh. too much confusing shit has happened in my life. i'm so tired of confusion.
bryan... the main source of my confusion. the epitome of indecision.... i thought i was bad, but he is definitely worse.
i can't help my feelings for him.
he invited me over to his school to stay the night... the following day he would drive me home. so i hopped a train.. and got there.. he picked me up. the first four hours that we spent together...they were perfect.. we flirted.. and cuddled.. on his roommates bed.. lol... but.. i just wish that the rest of night was as perfect as the first few moments.
but he opened his mouth, and totally killed the mood. told me that he still thought about his ex girlfriend that cheated on him last year at about the same time.
so of course i got upset... but then he told me that he does't know what's going on.. because he doesn't do what he did with me with his other girl friends. ::sighs::
I don't know what's going on. I don't know if he wants me or not.. and if he does want me.. if he'll be with me.. because he's thinking of that bitch...
c'mon! bryan is a great guy.. and yeah i fuckedup with him before... but how could you cheat on him???
i hate her... because in a sense...she has him.
im just hoping that he'll come to his senses(meaning... he'll come to me.)
