2/14/97
Well if anyone was the most confused..it would have to be me. It's like some days...I want Trent...and others...I need someone else. Ugh. It's just all too confusing. My grandmother came home from the hospital. I really hate to see her suffer..and it's selfish to say that I won't let her go because I don't want her to. But...I do love her and I don't want to see her die. Remember my grandfather's viewing...it was awful.
So anyways, back to guys...Trent's nice and all...but us being together is so far-fetched that...I just can't believe anymore. I like some guy from my school...but I'm not gonna mention any names...But, Ben (no, I dont' like Ben again) started talking to me on Friday...I dunno if it was just the fact that it was friday the 13th...but...he just sparked up a conversation...I talked back...but I couldn't look him in the eye...I was way too embarassed. But now that I think about this..it was BEN...the jerk..who treated me like shit. So, he said Hi, and then told me he was over my house delivering something to my mom from his mom...I told him I was too busy taking care of my grandmother to notice...which was true. He asked how she was....I said she was alright...but not great. I said I had to go..and left abruptly. My excitement for the day...Well...oh well.
Valentine's day...DIE CUPID! Of course, I wouldnt' be saying that if I had someone...but...oh well. No one's perfect. Ugh...that's enough.
2/25/98
Well...haven't written in a tad of a long time. Lemme give you the short and to the point updated version of my oh-so-interesting life. My grandmother is on dialysis...so my mom has to take her to the hospital every other day. It sucks because now she won't be able to give me rides and stuff...but oh well. It's my grandmother that matters. I have a bandaid on my finger so if I get any typos, that's why. Well, Lola's going out with some guy Phil and she's been sorta ingnoring everyone including me. Today she was all freaking out because all of the browns she was wearing didn't match or something. Ugh. Well...I know it's really no compensation for my grandmother's health, but for taking care of her, my mom ordered a bunch of nice stuff from a catalog I just got in the mail. Can't wait. I haven't bought clothes in a while...Christmas doesn't count. Well...life sucks...I hate it how I try to compare my life to my friends' lives. It sucks. Oh well.
3/8/98
I hate men. They are so oblivious to the great things that are right under their noses. I HATE THEM! They're so fuckin stupid! The guy I like...turns out he likes Jules. Just figures. My luck, right? Well...I'd be lying if I said I totally absolutely hated him...but I do hate him!! Just not all the way. Everyone falls for Jules...it's not fair. Life sucks.