5/9/98
hmm..i dunno whether to be excited or scared. yesterday night, bryan admitted to me that he liked me. i admitted that i "did" like him too..ever since frosh year. but my feelings have fluctuated over the past 1 and 1/2 years...i'm in one of those 'don't like him as much' periods. it was weird. now what am i supposed to do? what am i supposed to feel? how am i supposed to act on monday when i am forced to return to the halls of North high and face him. i'm confused.
i went to the movies today with lola..after going shopping with dad...fun fun. i saw deep impact..haha funny movie happenings.
we were like 3/4 through the movie..and all of a sudden white lights started flashing and an alarm went off...i looked at lola with an odd stare and was like "what the hell is going on?!" she shrugged...we thought it was 'special effects' for the movie at first...but it was a FIRE ALARM. i think it was just a prank. but still!! the ironic thing was that...ya know when the flash a map of the fire exits in the beginning of the movies?..well..me and lola...lola and i..were looking at that..and we asked where the hell we were on that map. nowhere on that map did it point out.."YOU ARE HERE" or anything. it was just ironic to me...i guess we jinxed ourselves. but we went back after they gave us passes to see it again. so i saw the end...and i cried my eyes out.
i think bryan is bitter than i went to the movies. he wanted to do something tonight..and now he's throwing out the sarcasm everywhere in our conversation. he wants to do something every weekend. i don't want a boyfriend/girlfriend deal with him. i DON'T WANT THAT AT ALL. i just realized that a few days ago. i don't want him..WITH the committment. it's just dumb being tied down to one person. i know there are a few who disagree..but this is my journal..and it includes my opinions...i'm only in high school. i'm too young to be committed. it's just me. i don't even want to talk to him now..he's just being bitter and all. he's denying it, but i still feel as if he's mad. men are so complicated. god.
on the lighter side of life...lanner got an email address! now i can hook her up with icq or the aol instant messenger. this'll be cool! i don't talk to her much..but now that she'll have webtv..she'll be on more to talk!
