your sweet glass barrier.

(2:44am EST)
9/1/98 i'm so damned tired of geocities' stupid pop up ads. grrr.. can anyone reccomend a GOOD webpage service(preferrably free) that doesn't have pop-up ads? i've tried tripod.. they have pop up ads..i'm trying to get a page going on eccentrica.. but i have to use netscape(which is a much better browser) but i'm not too good at using it. gurl pages is too retarded for my feeble mind to understand.. and the only way i can go is a domain.. but i don't feel like paying.. ::laughs:: so, if ya have any suggestions.. email me at oeildebleu@aol.com, please? i'd make a link.. but i'm way too lazy.. i mean, it is freakin almost 3am.

so i've joined life's little rat race today..i am now a hallmark employee.. yeah.. i'm the chick who sets all the cards nice and straight.. who sets up beanie babies just for little obnoxious kids to come screw them up and for me to fix them(doing the "fix the beanie" thing always reminds me of golf.. a guy hits a ball.. just to walk farther and hit it again.. make sense? didn't think so) and i'm also the chick behind the register who says "hello, this is hallmark.. ajay speaking.. how may i help you?.... NO WE DON'T HAVE THE NEW FUCKING BEANIE BABIES!" .. oh yeah, and i ring stuff up.. but that's so hard to do.. especially credit cards and checks. checks are a bitch because you have to get them to sign it.. ID it.. ugh.. credit cards are a bitch because you have to run the card through the thing.. then it needs to process... which takes forever because the computer register thingy is god knows how old. ugh.. my legs are sore.. my feet are aching.. and i'm wondering if i should even go back for more.. but friday is gonna be cool cause andra's gonna be there.. she can help me learn the damn numbers on the candles.. i hate those little tart things.. they're not even candles.. they're just hunks of wax.. what the hells the point!? same thing with beanie babies.. it's a piece of material that's all soft.. with freakin plastic pellets in it.. and it's named with a catchy poem inside a heart shaped tag.. it's such agony.. people are nuts over pieces of felt filled with beans.. it's ridiculous!!! spend your money on clothes or something.. ya know there are less fortunate people who would love to have money to just BLOW on a freakin stuffed animal.. but they have to scrape for cash to buy a piece of fucking toast. i'm sorry i'm cursing so much.. i'm just pissed.. and i've just realized how stupid this world can be sometimes.. it's like we're a bunch of lab rats in one of those mazes.. trying to search for cheese.. just to find that the cheese is laced with some sort of drug that will make our eyes turn red and shrivel up.. graphic, no? poor lab rats.. anyway.. off the subject a bit there.. ::laughs::

god.. a week till hell begins.. are we having fun yet?

i'm just wondering how the hell i'm gonna keep my grades high.. work.. go to dance.. do homework.. and try to maintain a social life. it's gonna be way hard.. but i've been putting the social life part out of the picture for a while.. what the hell! might as well wait 2 more years.

bryan and i talked normally saturday.. it made me happy.. :)

okay.. so andra wanted me to write in my journal about how my dumbassed day went at the job.. oy.. i think i'll do like a stalker time chart kinda thingy.. oh nevermind.. i don't know what i'm talking about.

3pm...sitting around in my pajamas waiting for my brother to show up.. getting nervous that he isn't showing..

3:30pm... aunt comes to pick up my grandmother to take her to dialysis.. mom calls to make sure chris got home.. she leaves early since he didn't show up yet..

3:35pm.. chris shows.. i throw on some khaki carpenter thingies(oh so comfy!) a white halter and a navy cardigan.. i didn't match at all.. but oh well. i grabbed my working papers, birth certificate and a copy of that.. and ran out the door..

3:50pm... got to the mall.. went to the store..lady behind the counter, johannah(she's got a problem with her eyes.. but she's so funny) calls jeff.. tells me to go to the back.. manager guy, jeff(who sounds gay when he talks) fills out my papers and gives me some payroll paper thing.. gives me an ID number and a password.. sends me to erinn who then "trains" me.

4:00-4:40pm.. being "trained" like a little puppy to take a piss on a newspaper.. not really.. :)

4:40-6:30pm... work behind register.. do randoms(random cards are picked out from where they shouldn't be.. shoved into one big pile.. so that little new me can find out where the hell they go.. or just hide them really good), straighten stuff up...

6:30-7:40pm.. empty boxes of thanksgiving and halloween(a little bit of christmas too) stuff and arrange them symmetrically on the shelf.

7:40pm... break time.. i had a half an hour.. but where the hell am i gonna go in a mall that i have ventured up and down, left and right, side to side since i was 8. so i got erinn a coffee at the cookie place. i ended up seeing some girl from second grade in catholic school.. which was pretty cool. we used to be pretty good friends back in 2nd grade.. maybe we can hang out on break time or something.

7:50pm.. took over register again for a while

9:23pm.. i've scanned lots of crap.. counted change.. and closed that damn drawer plenty of times... almost closing time..erinn turns on this really loud music.. makes me laugh because it's classical stuff.. i should really remember the title and stuff.. but what the hell.. i don't. johannah starts dancing around.. i start air-conducting(ya know, like air guitaring?) as if i was the big shit with the pointy stick in a black penguin-type tuxedo.. it was just fun

10:00pm.. we close down.. walk down the back stairs(which i never knew existed) and my mom is outside waiting for me with a car filled with my grandmother, great aunt and great uncle.. what fun. i came home to find my brother, his friends jay and zac.. and some girl meredith.. she was alright.. she was wearing this cool shirt.. so she was cool. now here i am.. not able to sleep.. and typing on this stupid computer..

that's enough.. i'm tired of typing.. pulp fiction is a kick ass movie.. just a lil' tidbit of info. :)

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