well well... what a sorta... weird day. i mean, bryan and i hardly talked as much as we usually do. he usually glances at me during lunch or something.. but today he just put his head down and rested. i'm such a stalker. ugh.
we do this valentines day thing.. where you can send a flower to a person... pink-secret admirer, red-i love you, blue-you're special, yellow-friendship. i want to know if he's gonna send me one. heh.. he's not gonna unless i mention it to him that i want one.. it sorta takes the surprise and sentiment out of it.. but i'd love it just the same. i just want to go out with him.. sheesh. and yeah, now i can accept that going out isn't immature.. i'm not an adult.. far from it.
tomorrow, bryan is taking me home.. and andra won't be there.. unless he decides to take someone else home too. hm. that could be a minor glitch in a perfect moment to just sit and stare at him out of the corner of my eye while he drives. he's so cute when he drives. he looks so small in his car. it's just weird seeing him be so responsible. i mean, it takes some responsibility to take two of your best friends to school and not get in an accident.. at least to me it does. i keep forgetting to thank him every day for taking me to and from. i'll gladly pay for gas money.. i feel bad that he's paying for it all. so i'll tell him that the next tank is on me.
i am just so into him... i mean, i feel as if i could tell him almost anything... and if it isn't love, then it's the closest thing that i'll ever feel to it. and i hope it's not the whole "i want what i can't have" thing coming back... cause i really feel that it isn't.
i sent him an email.. and in it i asked how he felt about me.. and all that jazz.. and that when he responded to my note telling him that i liked him, he left things so vague and open. is that good or bad?? anyways, i unsent it the morning after the night i sent it... i asked him why he was on and didn't read it.. which he didn't. he was on AIM tho.. i thought he was online. he just asked "what email!?!" and i said nevermind... and he wanted to know what was in it.. i got him curious for a whole five minutes... i just wish that his girlfriend was out of the picture. it's so not fair! good things come to those who wait, but what are the pantient people left with? nothing!
