my grandmother died on wednesday february 17, 1999 at approximately 8:30am.
the wake was last night.. the funeral today. i cried a little during the service this morning... but the viewing... i had to be strong for my mother. i think everyone at the service cried. we sang "in the garden" an old.. hymn. my grandmother and grandfather loved it.
church brought back the memories. i felt so out of place there. i haven't went to church in a good two years or so. not even for a holiday.
she was cold. and she looked pissed off in her casket. she looked uncomfortable.
it was weird seeing her and not talking to her. i'm never gonna be able to talk to her again...
but then all the faith in god comes in. what about the afterlife? is she really up there with grandpop...? having the time of her second life? i don't know.
::sigh:: i can't talk about it anymore.
i've had bryan preoccupying me head the whole time tho.
which is good... in a way. keep my mind off of everything. i've heard that bryan's girlfriend thinks that bryan likes me. this could be good and bad. it could cause friction.. or it could cause him to go out go out of his way to prove it to her that he only is interested in her. this could also make him think. i dunno how she found out. maybe her friend told her that he now moved over to my table and sat with me during lunch. i dunno... problems, problems. what else is new.
