23 June 1999

I spent the last two days cleaning up my room, trying to get organised and hopefully, take charge over the pack-rat in me and throw away enough of my junk to accommodate a table where I can study at.

How large, or rather, how small is my bedroom? Well, I guess widthwise, you can squeeze two cars here but there'd be absolutely no walking space and you won't even be able to open the car doors at all. :P Lengthwise, I guess it's about one saloon car another bonnet. Yeah... it's a squeeze.

It's odd. I love to be organised and neat but I've learnt over the years that sometimes, if my situation doesn't allow it, I'd have to learn to live with mess and cope with what is far from ideal and well, this seems to have succeeded... a little too much. hehehe! :P -> shame-faced, sheepish look.

But the organisation fan in me still exists. Look at the stationery I went to purchase to prepare myself for school again! Since my high school days, one of my favourite methods of organising my notes and all is using color coding and that spilled over to my secretarial and administrative career. It's heartening to see that one of the first few things on my list was to pick up files and index cards in all sorts of colors in an attempt to gain mastery over the expected load of notes and assignments before I get lost under all that paper.

This is something I'm kinda proud of, really. I unearthed my old college files when I was at my mom's recently and I thought, wow... organised! hehehe! I found it so hard to trash my notes because they were so painstakingly organised and appropriately color-coded and categorised so... I left them right where I found them, after dusting them off.

I guess one of my first priorities once school starts would be to find a group of friends who are serious about their studies too and form a study group. I've found study groups to be useful in motivating each other especially when I took night classes when working. I was pretty lonely in my first and second diploma courses because I couldn't find like-minded people in my class. But things got much better when I was studying for my third diploma. I found a clique and we kept each other motivated. Although sadly, by then, five years of continuous studying at night after a whole day at work took its toll on me and I was not as studious as I was. I can't imagine I made it through five years of night school!

Honestly, I'm geared up for serious studying now. :) I miss it. And I want to give it my all because, well, let me put it on record here so that I'll be less inclined to go back on my word then - I do want to excel in as many areas as I can. The only module that instils considerable fear and dread right now is 'Research Methods & Statistics' in Year 2 and Year 3. :P Maths! Yikes! I'm enthralled by anyone who is a Maths whiz and yes, I am attracted to engineers, especially male ones (!!) but Maths and me don't jive and we shouldn't even be spoken of in the same breath! Yikes! I've always been a klutz at Maths. And it was because of the damn times-table that I got whacked so very often as a six year old onwards by my dad. I've tried hard over the years to overcome my Maths phobia but it still has this hold over me. My mind freezes whenever I encounter a Maths problem and instead of trying to work it out, I'll be paralysed by morbid fear. :( I don't know how I'll fare in that module - I barely scrapped through in my diploma classes in Statistics. :(

I think maybe, one day, I'll sit down and upload the course schedule and module synopsis here so that fellow nursing students or anyone else considering nursing as a career possibility can take a look.

In the meantime, I've got Year 1 to enjoy to the fullest... before 'Research Methods & Statistics' strangles me by the throat. :P Oh Lord, is it possible to effect a sudden change in the schedule so we won't have to study that module at all, you think?

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