Memorial Homepage for Raymond (Wai Ming) Lee

Raymond Lee
19/12/1965 - 29/5/1998

Hello! Thank you for visiting this memorial website which I have created for my past friend and lover Raymond Lee, who has tragically passed away on the 25th of May 1998. I have only found out about his death more than a year later via a notice in the local gay press.

I hope that by creating these web pages I will be able to capture my memories of Raymond so that they will not fade away. I hope others who knew him will also tell about their experiences, so we can all get to know some more about Raymond. I also hope that it will help with the grieving and healing of all those who have known and been close to Raymond.

I met Raymond on the 21st of June in 1996. I was instantly infatuated with his handsome looks, impressed by his intellect and charmed by his friendly and down to earth nature. Although we were only going out together for a short six months, he managed to make me fall in love with him very quickly.

Raymond was born in China on the 19th of December 1965. I know little of how and when he came to Australia, but I think that he came here as an adolescent and he went to university here in Melbourne. When I met him, his parents were still living in Hong Kong, but his sister and her son were living in Melbourne.

He lived by himself in a house in Ascot Vale, Melbourne where I visited him several times. His parents came to visit and stay in his house from HK every year and I managed to 'invite' myself over for lunch one day when they were there. They were both elderly and very frail especially his dad, but also very friendly and polite and I was fed plenty of authentic home-style Chinese food.

He had a passion for many things, but especially for books and music. Often there were piles of CD's still unopened and books unread. He lent me to read one of his favourite books 'Holding the man'. I was really touched by it's story and in return I recommended Raymond 'The front runner'. This was the first gay novel that I read, and one, which I was equally moved by. He really liked it too.

Raymond's taste in music ranged from traditional classical to the very modern and esoteric. He also had a piano and he was learning to play it. One night I surprised him as I was tinkering on it and played a piece I still remembered from many years ago. He came downstairs to listen and joined me, playing the left hand as I was playing the right.

He also loved films and I saw several with him at various art-house cinemas. I remember both of us having tears in our eyes when we saw the movie 'Shine', and subsequently being disappointed (by the performance) when hearing David Helfgott perform live at the Melbourne Concert Hall. We went to several other classical music concerts (he had MSO concert subscriptions).

We often met for breakfast at the Black Dog café in Daimaru or for dinner in one of the many Chinese restaurants he introduced me to. We also cooked together a few times, once dinner for my friends, and he tried very hard to impress them with his Chinese cooking skills. We loved drinking red wine with dinner and he especially liked the botrytis dessert wines.

Not long before I met Raymond, I acquired my licence to ride motorcycles. I was unable to take him as a passenger properly, but we had some fun riding in empty car parks when he sat behind me and hung onto me as I took him for a spin. I even gave him riding lessons a few times and he really enjoyed roaming around (slowly) in the car park by himself. He had a black leather jacket, which he wore when he was learning to ride, and he looked so cute in it! I wish I had taken a picture!

His birth sign was Sagittarius and he was born in the year of the Snake. He was typical to both of them: always restless searching for new experiences in his pursuit of wisdom, happiness and the meaning of life, but never quite satisfied as there was always more to find out and to experience. He was also a typical Snake. In Chinese culture snakes are considered wise and beautiful, beneficial and sensual. And that he was! Always well dressed and elegant, handsome, full of wisdom.

Raymond was involved with the Ethnic Community Radio 3ZZZ by writing and presenting the Chinese language programs once a month. I said to him I would listen to his program one night to hear his voice on air. To my surprise he dedicated a song to me (in English) in the middle of his program. I was tickled pink.

He was also very secretive person. I never met any of his gay friends and was probably unusually lucky to meet his parents, sister, nephew and a couple of his straight friends. But his secretiveness only added to his attraction. His elusiveness always left me craving for more of his company.

Raymond and I broke up in December 1996 (by his will). Although I suspected for some time that things were not 'going well', I was still very hurt when he finally delivered the bad news. So hurt, that I would not speak to him for a long time. Some months later an 'olive branch' arrived, in the form of a postcard from Canada where I knew he would be going. Later when he returned to Australia I re-established contact with him, but broke the friendship because of my new boyfriend's jealousy of Raymond, something that I regret to this day.

So dear little Raymond, I miss you very much. I wish you could be with me now and do the things we enjoyed doing together. Rest in peace, you no longer need to search.

I will always remember you!
Csaba

A Memorial service was held at Raymonds grave on the 27th of September 1999 by a few of his closer friends. The text of the Eulogy can be viewed from here.

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Last updated on 5th October 1999