No, I don't really hate Valentine's Day, but it has to be one of the most depressing days ever created. Most people would assume a woman thought up the idea of all this romance, flowers, and chocolates, but I know it was a man. Some man thought it would be great to make all us women unhappy. Because for every happy woman, there is a roomful of unhappy ones in the background. Though I've learned to have no problem buying myself a box of chocolates, even the heart-shaped boxes.
But now for my real thought of the day...why is that guys either never email or call or [fill in your desired form of communication here] unless you don't like them and/or they're stalking you? I realize this a rather large generalization, but today, that's what seems to be true. Romeo is fulfilling the first one today...oh heck, he's great at it. I can't even decide if I'm mad or not. I understand being busy...hell, I the Queen of Overcommittment and Can't-Say-No. I should be writing a paper right now, not bitching to my online journal. But there's another side to it. I fear that the lack of comminication is due a lack of feeling. I don't know what we are. I know we're dating and when I read the emails he sends, I feel like we're not just a sometime kind of thing. More than if neither has anything to do, we'll get together. Though I was asking for all this. Is this what long-distance dating really means? Long distances of time between communication? I truly can't decide whether I'm within my rights of indignation or if I'm over-reacting. I just don't know. I want to know. I want to know if I can be sappy or not.
And 12 days til my biopsy. Though they're trying to be nice and call it a colposcopy. It's a more in-depth pap smear. They prop me open, look inside to see if there are any blinking neon signs saying something's wrong. They then proceed to freeze my cervical flesh for so many minutes, then let it rest. They do this freezing/resting pattern for maybe 20-30 minutes and then they pull out pieces of me for testing. At least the results will come back in about a week, not the usual 2-3 weeks for a regular pap smear. So by spring break, I should know if anything's wrong. A friend across the hall had it done and nothing was wrong, but who knows. I'm so freaked out, but I don't want to worry anyone. Since no one reads this, it's a nice way of releasing fear without giving the fear to anyone else. Look for an update. As soon as I know what's up, I'll put in an entry.
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