Their Jesus vs. Me and Mine

Alas, how appropriate it is that this week is Holy Week and the week we remember the pain of Jesus and his sacrifice for us. I often wonder what the Sunday readings have to do with me and my life. Today, I understood.

Wednesday at Lenten Eucharist, we read about how Jesus was spit upon and was actually a victim. Today when I met with my friend to discuss the Bible and who Jesus was, things started out okay. But then we got into the Bible and homosexuality. She believes that to be a true Christian requires complete acceptance of the Bible, literally. So I am a sinner.

I got through my self-realizations and I even underwent a re-questioning of myself last summer because I didn't want to be gay. I wanted to be normal. But I couldn't do it. I could not deny the truth. I don't know where I'm taking this entry, but I am so upset by today. I fear not that I'm not gay or that it's sin...neither of those is true. What I fear is that I will try to deny myself and put myself through a lot of needless, senseless pain. Why do that when I could fall for a guy and let him cause me pain? :-)

Well, I'm sure I will return to this later when my stomach is not crying out for food.