Realizations at Epcot

I am writing this in next to no light. But I needed to write and my body's too sore to sit in the bathroom under the nightlight and write. And for some reason, Mom, Dad, and I are sharing a room here in Orlando, so I can't turn on the light. Nor can I call my girlfriend or even Jake and talk to either of them. And I can't sneak out to the outdoors and look for a payphone at 12am. (Wow, it felt like I'd been lying awake for more than the 45 minutes that it's been.)

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately...okay, last night and today. I feel very uneasy about how I left things with my girlfriend last night. She and I need to talk face to face about our issues. No more over the phone or online for now.

Second, I think I may have come to some clues as to what triggered/perpetuated my depression. I feel like I've regressed since graduating from RMWC. When I graduated, I had a plan...not the best plan, but a plan. And that plan didn't include administrative assistant work or temp jobs. I was going to actually do something productive. And none of the jobs in the paper were those perfect jobs, so maybe I avoided them. And now at Barnes & Noble, I'm back in the retail world...a place I never wanted to return to. And now the economy--

Oops? Where was I? Oh right, bad economy...I don't think things will improve.

Maybe I should look into grad school. I could work B&N and maybe next fall, start taking classes towards a Master's.

By the way, Epcot was awesome! I'll write more later when I can see.

Well, I guess I'll try going to sleep again. Wish me luck!