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Coming Out
Under Construction
MY FIRST MALE ATTRACTION
MY HIGH SCHOOL DENIAL
MY COLLEGE HOMOPHOBIC PHASE
MY WORK IS MY LIFE PHASE
THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS...NOT
THE INTERNET
THE MOURNING
MEETING JON
I didn’t have a large network of gay friends, and the guys I met at the bars were not very deep. I contemplated putting an ad in the local newspaper, but the thought of having my
ad next to an ad for desperate sex didn’t sound appealing. I was afraid that people would think I was as shallow and needy as those other ads, or that I was lying about my stats.
Or worse, some of those needy people placing those ads would try to contact me. So, an older couple I knew suggested I go to Palm Springs if I wanted to meet someone. Well,
being “newly gay”, I found it very difficult to meet people. I was afraid that everyone who wanted to talk to me just wanted sex. It wasn’t happening. I was trying to be something
I thought I should be. Frustrated, I fell back into “life sucks” attitude.
One day, when I was lamenting to my best friend (female) that I wasn’t meeting anyone,
she asked, “Does anyone know your gay?” She knew the answer. I had come out to myself, but no one at work knew, and I as I said before, I didn’t have a lot of gay friends
and none my age. No one who was gay in my area knew I was gay, so how did I expect to meet anyone? It was then that I thought I needed to make some gay friends. How do
you do that if you don’t have any gay friends. Luckily, my city had a couple of gay clubs, a swim club and an outdoor club. I decided to go to these club meetings to meet other
gay guys. Not necessarily to find a boyfriend, but to find people like me that I could hang around. It was at one of my first gay swim classes that I met Jon.
TRYING TO FIT IN
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