Don't be a dick!!!
This is actually my own personal life philosophy. There is of course many less vulgar ways to say it but I like the in your faceness about it. Thank you Alison.

Why join honor society, and serve the community, and save the world, when you can go home and watch TV.
This is from the incredible mind of Ms. Morgana Bowes.

There are two types of people in this world. My kind of people and assholes.
Pink Flamingos

Never give an inch, especially when you're wrong.

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.
This seems to be a basic cliched movie saying but the earliest movie I can find it in is The Godfather Part II so I'll attribute it to that.

Trust no one
I think we all know where this one comes from.

The truth is out there
...this one too, don't worry they get better.

If I ignore myself, will I go away?
See I told you.

If you've talked to one Borg, you've talked to them all.
I couldn't help myself.

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement, for even the very wise cannot see all ends.
Gandolf from The Hobbit.

If the woodchuck chucks, does the chuckwood wood?

Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does shipment go by car and cargo goes by ship?

Why is there an interstate in Hawaii?

May the force be with you.
Once again I couldn't resist.
If you think you're going to hurl, then I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she stays, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts it was never meant to be.
Wayne Campbell, Wayne's World. A good plan for romance.

She makes me feel kind of funny, like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class.
Garth Algar, Wayne's World. A good description of love at first sight...I think.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.
Queen

People's souls are like saltines: salty and crunchy.
This one came from me. I'm not sure exactly what I meant but I remember I thought it was hysterical when I wrote it down so...there you go.

The story of ET is that of Jesus Christ.
Think about it....

Nothing can be so silly, so impossible, or so unnatural that it cannot happen in a dream.
I'm not sure where this came from but I like it.

Religion is like a fart. Yours is fine but everybody elses' stinks.
What a classy analogy, huh?

I got over the hate...I never got over the love.
A sad commentary from M*A*S*H on failed relationships.

It feels right because you're here and it feels right because you're leaving.
Dr. Leo Marvin, What About Bob? commenting on releaving his stress.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
Another good life philosophy. The Little Engine That Could.

Freedom comes to those who think freedom is the right way.
It sounds so simple but why can't anyone understand that? Basik Magick p.167

I say, I'm dead, and I move.
A case of a ghost speaking the obvious in The Crow.

To have a family is worth the effort...and generally the effort needs a week in Acapoco.
Dr. Fraiser Crane on why his patient shouldn't run off to the tropics...just yet.

You ever pull the wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even?
I'd never thought about it from that perspective before. Men In Black

Not to be afraid is very good thing in scientific mind.
See it doesn't take a rocket scientist to come up with deep thoughts about life. The King and I

When one does not know what to say, it is a time to be quiet.
Very wise. The King and I I also like what Mark Twain said: "Better to keep your mouth shut