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Welcome! You are probably wondering what "Beyond the Norm" means. Well let me ask you something: What is normal? I have yet to find it, not that I have really tried!
If you have been here before, you know that I have made some major changes. That is part of my personality. I love change!
Anyway, let me tell you a few other things about me. I am a femme who recently "came out" and then found my butch, Jessie. (If you have a problem with lesbians/gays, then please go here). I have never known anyone who gives of themself the way she does. She is the sweetest, kindest, warmest, most open person I know. She spoils me rotten...but don't tell her that! LOL. And, she too is beyond the norm...isn't that a match made in Heaven? She even got Miss America 2000, Heather French to come to our city! Heather spoke at a luncheon to help homeless Veterans that Jessie set up. It was a fantastic affair. We had our picture taken with her!
I am a deep thinker. I try to see good in all people. I like to believe everything happens for a reason. That the hard times make you stronger, and that we should be grateful for whatever we have. (I am constantly reminding myself to do that!). I am fairly open minded (sometimes it gets me in trouble down here in the deep south! [I'm a Damn Yankee]), but I stand firm on my beliefs.

I am a child of parental alienation. My mother walked away from me and a younger sister when I was 5. I didn't see her again until I was 14 and all that time, had no idea where she was or why she left. My father's family told me what a horrible person she was for leaving and not keeping in contact, but I didn't believe it. I told myself that there was a very good reason for her not coming back for me. That maybe my father had taken us away from her and she didn't know where we were. Or maybe that she was in a hospital. What goes on in a childs mind to deal with such a loss is incredible.
For 9 years I was pushed in and out of my father's families homes. My father was an alcoholic and couldn't deal with two young children, so he begged his family to do it for him. They were resentful and showed it. I was abused emotional, physically, sexually and mentally. At age fourteen, my step mother and father decided they couldn't deal with me and miraculously (I had been told they didn't know) they found out where my mother lived and sent me to her. We were two strangers and unfortunantly that never really changed. I had run away several times during the year I lived with her. I was longing for love and didn't much care how I got it. The last time I ran, my mother didn't even bother to look for me.
I had no idea where I was going, but somehow was lucky enough to be taken in be a family two states away from home. They wanted to adopt me and when I called my mother, it was then that she sent the police after me. She didn't care about me coming home, she just didn't want me to live with this new family. The police told me I had two choices: Go back to my mother, who didn't even want me, or back to my step-mother who abused me. I guess I felt the abuse was better than no attention at all.
I found out she had moved when a letter I wrote to her came back. I didn't really let it get to me. That is until I was married. I spent many a day calling people who had the last name she was using. Cried enough tears to fill a bathtub, and never heard anything - not even if she was alive.
After eleven years I finally had her phone number. I felt like I had won the lottery! I went to see her as quicky as I could. She acted like she was somewhat glad to see me, but I think it was to look good in her now, third husband's eyes.
All the years after finding her, I tried to get her to love me as I did her. It was to no avail. I was very hurt by her, but have now realized that it is her problem and not mine. That although it is unnatural to not bond with your offspring, that it does occasionally happen. She is a cold human and she would rather turn me away than face her guilt. That alone tells me she isn't worthy of my love and therefore I refuse to try any longer. She has robbed me of my childhood. I didn't really have any kind of structured family life to be an example of how I should act as an adult. No one was there when I cried or I needed a "mother". It has taken me longer than usual to grow-up because I wasn't allowed to go through the stages of a child and adolecent. I basically raised myself. That's hard to do when you have little to go on. I was shuttled from so many homes that even now I have trouble staying in one place for very long. The very longest I have lived with anyone is 7 years and that was an ex-husband. I walked out of 2 marriages because I was so afraid they would leave me first (I didn't realise that was why until much later). I have (in some ways) repeated the cycle my mother set out for me as I have 3 ex-husbands, and 4 children who I have left. (I do my best to keep in touch with them) I didn't leave my children by pure choice though. I was just too weak and poor to fight for them. Right now I have a daughter who's father won't allow me to call. You might say that I should take him to court and get my rights. Well for those of you who don't know what Alabama is like, let me tell you it is hicktown all the way (or at least the town I lived in). I lost custody of my youngest (the only girl) because I came out. Didn't you know that being gay means you automatically become incapable of raising your children? Well the judge that heard my case saw it that way, even though my ex has a record of domestic abuse - against me!
So NO, my mother doesn't deserve my love and need not worry that I will ever again bring up the past that she thinks should be forgotten.
Please, if you know someone who is a victim of Parental Alienation, send them a link to this page. They need to know they are not alone. Thank you.

And now back to a lighter subject...:)


*NEW*
Jessie and I have an award site of our own
where you can apply for one of our A Woman's Touch awards.

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