Suzi's open house

Chapter 10: My 'treatment'.

I started Gender Re-assignment Therapy in the early 1990s, when I went to the privately run Albany Gender Clinic in Manchester. I arrived for the first appointment in my female persona. The receptionist gave me a fairly long and comprehensive questionnaire to fill in about my history, how often I cross-dressed, feelings associated, medical history, and on and on. I was then taken into the nurse's office where I was given a paper cup and asked to visit the ladies toilet along the corridor and provide a urine sample. A basic test was done on this, then I was weighed, and had my blood pressure taken.

Eventually I got to see the doctor, who was a specialist in the area of gender reassignment. There were a lot of questions trying to get to the bottom of why I might want to start a course of treatment and for what ultimate ambition.

At that point, I wasn't entirely convinced that I ultimately wanted surgery, but there was plenty of time to consider that. The GP was happy about that, as he seemed concerned at the pace with which some clients wanted total transformation. He'd rather someone took as long as possible to decide and understand all the implications before taking such a drastic decision to go beyond the point of no return.

He also took pains to explain the risks associated with the course of treatment upon which I was about to embark - liver failure, stroke, thrombosis, heart failure - if you can accept these to achieve your heart's desire then you're obviously crazy. Naturally I nodded dumbly that I understood the risks, expecting him there and then to hand over the weapons of my self-destruction.

The doctor told me that I was a classic case of gender dysphoria, and potentially transsexual. He then made a comment about the fact that I'd 'dressed appropriately' and had applied make-up quite subtly, as opposed to some clients who wore their best/weirdest party gear, done up 'to the nine's' to visit a doctor in the middle of the afternoon!

The next step was for me to provide a blood sample and to make an appointment in a couple of weeks when the results would be known. The blood tests were basically to check cholesterol levels and liver function.

I drove home feeling disappointed that I hadn't started the course straight away, concerned about the cost of all this, but elated that a doctor had confirmed that I was Transsexual. And it didn't necessarily mean that I had to elect for surgery, only that I had a strong feminine side that could adapt to living as a woman if I chose to.

A week later I phoned for the result of the blood test, got the 'all clear' and made an appointment for the following week. This followed pretty much the previous routine, with less hanging around, and getting an initial prescription, provided by the Clinic, of low dose oestrogen pills. I had to make a return appointment for 8 weeks later, and subsequent visits were then every 12 weeks.

The same routines were subsequently followed with the exception that the dosages went up gradually. It was 3 months before there was any noticeable breast swelling, although my nipples became very sensitive - which they had always been, but now more so. I was informed that my body would be going through the sort of changes that a pubescent female around 12 years old might experience.

After a couple of years, my boobs were filling a 38B bra, my body fat had relocated itself, from waist to buttocks and lower belly. My skin was softer, my body hair had reduced to a fine down, and I didn't have to shave so often, and when I did there wasn't the previous resistance or soreness.

Then came the next step - as well as the oestrogen (Premarin), I was prescribed Androcur, a testosterone suppressant, and Spironolactone which enhanced the effects of feminisation, especially beard reduction - on top of the cost of treatment, I couldn't afford electrolysis. Again there was an explanation of the potential side effects, and once accepted, a gradual build up of dosage. The marked effect this time, apart from having lighter beard growth, was a reduction in libido - and shrinkage of certain extremities! It wasn't so much that I wasn't capable of sex, more that I wasn't even interested in it.

You can see that no-one should enter this course of action unless they are prepared for these changes and the impact on daily life. As for the effects on relationships, after 25 years my partner and I separated. She had understood and supported my needs up to a point, but struggled, naturally, with re-defining our relationship once I started full-time in the female role. We eventually divorced, following my surgery in 2001, but happily we remain best of friends and keep in constant touch.

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