The Warped Mirror
Under The Covers
Depression
Erotic Whispers
Leave me a Note
Under the covers
A Page of Open Discussion on Sexuality
Hello, and welcome to "Under the Covers"! I am your hostess, Silverill. Feel free to email me with any questions, concerns or comments that you may have. This page was created with the intention of offering you a small piece of the world through the eyes of a bisexual woman. I hope you are not too easily offended, as some of the matieral covered here may be considered "unacceptable" by some. If you keep you mind and heart open, I am sure that there will be no problems. So please, read on and discover the "bi" side of me.
Bisexual
I am bisexual, not undecided, not unsure, not inexperienced with either sex. I am bisexual by choice. This does not necessarily mean that I am not monogamous, because I am when I want to be. I have a steady partner, with whom I have been living with for about 3 years. We do, on occasion, get together with another girl, but only if the circumstances are right. And to date, it has only happened with one girl. I chose, above all else, to fall in love with people first, their gender later. Besides, the opportunities are endless this way. I have twice as much of a chance for a date, when I am single :)
Being openly Bi to most of my friends has had quite an effect on me. Everyone that I have opened up to has been supportive. Most of my friends think that it's really cool, and I think that some of them have really become more aware of their own sexuality through the discovery of mine. I think that it is easier to people to feel free to experiment when they know someone else who has gone through a similar situation (this is true for life in general, of course). Since I have come out, so many other people have expressed to me their own curiosity, or their own alternative orientation. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, bi, bi-curious, and transgendered. I think that perhaps if I hadn't come out, I may never have gotten to know my friends nearly as well as I do now. That may sound sad, but it is true that many of them may not have been as comfortable opening up to me, if I hadn't been open minded myself. It takes a lot of nerve to come out to anyone.
I still haven't come out to my family. That's too frightening just now. I do hope to get the chance to do it, someday. I know a lot of people who had bad experiences, when they brought up the subject of their orientation to their families. I think that mine would be quasi-understanding, but down deep they would think that I am going through some kind of phase. They would assume that somehow, someone must have given me the idea that "gay is cool" these days. They would think, like many other people I am sure, that it is something that is temporary, something I chose to be.
I can tell you, here and now, that isn't the way that it really is. I won't say that it isn't fun, and exciting, because I think that many things that are seen as "bad" can have that sort of appeal. Sex, in its many forms is often exciting because it is something that isn't talked about, and isn't "proper". This feeling of being naughty does add to the overall experience, at first, of being with another girl. But it doesn't last. And after its gone, I am still attracted to some girls because they are attractive people.
The Attraction
What is it about women that I find myself hopelessly attracted to? Well it's a number of things. I especially like the way that women smell. The perfume, the shampoo, the bodily smells of all kinds. I love the smell of the back of a girls neck, it's sort of the center of a whole bunch of smells. The perfumes and her hair, all mix and mingle with the girls natural scent, and WOW! It's almost perfect.
Other than smell, I like girls who aren't too skinny, but are somewhat in shape, and manage to have womanly features. I love round breasts, and curved bellies, and shapely legs. Big, bright eyes, are a girls best feature though, besides her personality. Other than all of this physical stuff, I like girls that are independent, but not anti-social. I like people who think. I am much more attracted to people who can hold interesting conversations/discussions and speak with authority and knowledge about the subject. I like people who can admit their faults, and people who aren't afraid to express their feelings.
BI-ography . . . I have known that I am bi-sexual for quite a while. As a child, I grew up with a friend that I became very close to. We went through puberty together, and played very sexual games (truth or dare type) with each other. Of course, nothing every really happened where we actually touched each other but I was always sexually aroused when I dared her to do things like take her clothes off, or wear my mom's sexy teddies and other lingerie. We even used to dare each other to masturbate in front of the other. And it was more than the sexual arousal. I loved her. She was my best friend. We always slept in the same bed, snuggled into each others arms. I still remember her smell, her manerisms, everything about her. I felt a strange bond with her, that I could never explain in words.
These days, we are friends. She doesn't know how I used to feel about her, and perhaps the bond I felt was one sided. I have finally mentioned my orientation to her, and I think that she guesses something about my attraction to her. I hint about my feelings, but I am still too vulnerable right now to be able to face her with the truth in its entirety. Hopefully someday she will know what she meant to me as I grew up in that horrid town. Someday she will know all of me.
That's all I have time to write now...check back for more in the coming weeks!For easy navigation...