For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Farah
Question: i know this really isn't a question, but there are some things you just can't leave pent up. I love you. more than anything in the world. i want your body. very very very badly. my heart just goes "pitter patter" every time i think of you. and to make it better, i know where you live. please tell me you will return my everlasting love, before i do something drastic. to both of us.
Answer: Well...um, that's nice. I'm going to go buy a gun now, because I have no fucking idea who you are.
Saturday, May 19, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: no comment
Question: What do you do when you are not happy anymore with just everyday life. Your friends family, nothing makes you truly happy. Can anything change that? I know there has got to be a way i can't live like this I am 17 and look at my life and it just sickens me I just cry. All the little kids have there future and teenage years ahead of them but mine are almost gone. I can' t go on like this. bob help me anyway possible even if its just telling me tihngs that arent true but make me feel better
Answer: First off, let's not be overly dramatic here. You're seven-god damn-teen. Your life is FAR from over. You are but a CHILD yet! As am I! The average human life span at the moment varys between 70 for men, and 80 for women, give or take. You've yet to live even a THIRD of your life! You're just NOW getting to the creamy center!
What you are feeling is not depression, or boredom, but premature enlightenment. You are slowly begining to realize that you are not immortal. One day, you WILL die, and this fact has begun to dawn on you. But never fear! You're getting the same shot at this mudball as everyone else! Just stay out from under pianos, and you'll live a LONG ass time, indeed!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out there, and ENJOY IT. When you die, that's IT. You've got a lot of time left on the clock, but it IS still running down. Make the most of it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: Abby
Question: Dearest Bob, I have a question for you. It is not an unusual one but rather one that concerns many teenages at one point or another. You see all these Proms were this past weekend and even though i am not a senior I decided to go to the after parties. There was this one at this girls house in affton i think. Yea so i get wasted off my ass and got on these four guys I ddin't really know but for a few hours. It turns out one of the guys was this one girl i know.. (we aren't really friends but we always go to the same parties) this girls boyfriend. She is all pissed at me now because she thinks Im trying to steal him away. I didn't even remember getting on him though and him me.
Ok she has no room to talk though because she got on my ex boyfriend after a dance a few months ago. OK now Here s my actual question. DO you think you should be mad at someone if while they are drunk off their asses gets on a guy/girl you like or your boyfriend/girlfriend while at a party?????? See I dont think so bc you dont know whats going on and all but she tihnks differntly. I dunno what do u think????????
Answer: Well, this isn't really an easy question to answer. First off, you need to accept responsibility for your actions. You chose to get get drunk, and you crawled over not one, but FOUR guys you didn't know. This shows piss poor judgement in my book.
Now, granted, you were probably so drunk you didn't realize what you were doing, and that offers you some sympathy from my camp. On the other hand, if some guy I didn't know got drunk and started hitting on my girl friend, well, I'd throw him off a god damn bridge.
Basically, it boils down to this, you were wasted, and you couldn't really control your actions. If I were this girl, I'd be more concerned about why my boyfriend is ALLOWING CRAZY DRUNK GIRLS TO "get on him". Hmmmm...
But wait! There's more!
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Abby
Question: Hey it's me again
I have another question for you. This family friend of mine is really hot. He and his family are good friends of my aunt and uncle. I havent seen him for like 8 months but every now and then i see him at SOCO mall and say hi and all. U think i should go for it? U see when im around guys I like or not like but just horny for that matter i tend to go a lil wild and freaky on them. I have certain things I won't do without alcohol but I dunno if i could control myself. If you were in my situation like with some family friend girl or good friend or something if u did stuff with her would it ruin that relationship every time u saw her. Thats what Im afraid of with him. I am so confused and i will see him on sunday for a communion party.. please help me soon ill check into this site on like thursday
Answer: Augh. I still don't understand why people come to me about relationship advice. Personally, I've never had the balls to tell ANY girl I've been attracted to I liked her, EVER. Kinda pathetic, but then, it's kept me out of trouble.
Now, for girls, the whole thing is easier. Way I figure it, a girl is about ten times less likely to get turned down than a guy. So yeah, ambush the guy, see what happens. If you're really good friends, and it won't work out in a relationship, things will be weird for a while, but you'll still be good friends. Now, back to my exciting life of....wait...damn.
Friday, March 23, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: S/A
Question: Well I don't have the body for a belly shirt (he likes tight baby tees) and if I wore one he'd get all cranky because then I'd be trying to attract another guy and be cheating...
Insomnia Bob: Ooh. Crap. Nevermind then.
He's actually on the day Cancer switches to Leo so I'm not sure I'd be any better off with the doc...
Doc Booty: Yeah, yeah, always something. The search continues!
I'm a fire sign (like the Doc), fire signs will flirt with walls, it doesn't mean anything when I flirt.
Bob and Doc: Tease.
I had a brief fling w/ this guy a couple summers ago, who happens to be a flirt... I saw that guy about a month ago and when I got back... My boyfriend's like, you were flirting w/ Eric you're gonna cheat on me...
Doc: Wait, Eric? The one on this website? Eric "Smelly" Sullivan?
Bob:- Dude, that's not cool...wait, "Smelly"?
Doc: Man, that guys house smells like ass and peanuts half the time.
Bob: Ugggh...
How do I convince him that I'm not gonna cheat on him?
Answer: Hmm. Well, short of installing a camera in your forehead, there isn't much you can do. Doesn't seem like the guy trusts you...probably because he thinks you're too good for him. Sit down and talk to him about this, and if he still doesn't get it, kick him to the curb.
Doc: Yeah! And I was kidding before, I'm not a Leo...I'm a...
Bob: Idiot?
Doc: ...Aries
Thursday, March 22, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: S/A
Question: When your boyfriend is hyper-sensitive, and a certified asshole, (iow, a Cancer) how do you keep him content, speaking to you, and not angry, annoyed or depressed long enough to maintain your sanity?
Also I've heard you react to sugar like it's crack. Why is that?
Answer: Well, I'm a cancer, but I don't consider myself 'hyper-sensitive', or a 'certified asshole'. A little nuts, maybe...
Doc Booty: ...yeah, and he reacts to suger like it's CRANK, not crack! That stuff is for sissies!
Insomnia Bob: Shut up, Booty. Anyway, if you want to get your boyfriend to stop bitching, just wear a belly shirt. Guys dig belly shirts.
Doc Booty: And if that doesn't work, I'll smack him in the head with a 2x4, and you can be MY lady. (I'm a leo! Call me!)
Insomnia Bob: I live in shame.
Tuesday, March 6, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: her name is mabel her eyes are
Question: first off do you know who signs the song that the lyric that i used for my name is from? well WHY THE HELL NOT? unless you do and in which case if i was capable of feeling empathy i'd be sorry but i'm not so get over it second off (usually me unless we don't have a lot of time in which case i don't get off at all)why do they call it "going postal?" yes, yes in know disgruntal postal workers and all, but in all honesty i've never even heard of a mailman (or woman - damn equal opportunity)going beserk and killing a bunch of people. shouldn't it be "going iraqi terrorist" or "going manson follower" or perhaps "going serial (as in killer)?" hella long - as normal - get over it. also why do people (yes, including me) say hella? how can you have a hell of something? or is it some mordern rate of measure that i was never formally introduced to? salah!
Answer: Once again, you never fail to be both long winded, AND a little bit insane. As for 'going postal', in ...89, I think it was, a postal working went wacky and shot everyone in his office with an Armalite AR-10 gas powered, semi-automatic weapon. The media reported it as "Disgruntled postal worker kills 12". So, that's why. Know your history, people! As for 'Hella', it's short for 'hell of a lot'.
Tuesday, February 6, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: Serra
Question:Mackie,
Hello. Who is this "Freak Girl" Who seems to know me? Oh yeah and Matt Swanson was lying about me for the record! I would rather get it on with a decaying sewer rat with one arm. So Anyway my question is: Do you guys have secret shadow powers that you arent telling us about? Oh and Sean Connery rules! Good day!
Answer: I have no idea who Freak Girl is. I don't know half the people who ask questions, theses days. And yes, I do have secret shadow powers. I'd tell you what they are, but they're secret.
Monday, January 29, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: lucky charms
Question: hey fellah!! since you claim to have not recieved my last "ask bob" i'm sending another. (it's the same as the first and i still think that you got the other one but were to shy to post it. oh well.) so, is it true that a man's shoe size is double the length of his penis? for example...if a guy had a shoe size of 10, let's say, he would have a 5 inch penis. is this true? enlighten me!! by the way, you'll never have revenge for this!!! i win!! smooches!! ~lucky
Answer: Well, I can honestly say, that formula does not apply to me. I do wear a size 10 shoe, and I'm a little better off than 5 inches...click on this link to see! Proof!
Tuesday, January 23, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: Id prefer not to say.
Question:
Hi Bob,
I have a problem I like this guy and i dont know how to aprroach it. we were both ata party saturday nite but i didnt know iuf it would be innapprioate to just like jump on him/ give him a lap dance or something. I mean i want him but i dont knoe how he would respond to something like that. If some girl would get on you at a party would you like it? or even let her?????
HORNINESS SUCKS dick literally sometimes
thanx R.C.
Answer: Hmmm, lapdance? Inappropriate, no. Not unless he has a girlfriend, or there are elderly people present. Would I mind? Sweet CHRIST no! I say, go for it. I only wish I was going to some party on friday. Crap. This kind of things never happen to me.
Sunday, January 21, 2001
Go see Snatch. That movie kicks ass.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: billianna
Question:
fuuuuuuck when did i get so screwed up?
yeah, you can answer coz you know me so well and shit
but help me
how do i fix it all
how do i get unscrewedup
Answer: Well, since I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, or what you're talking about, I'm just going to say the damage is permenant, and get on with my life. Bye.
Friday, January 19, 2001
For: Insomnia BobName: Zero
Question:
Recently, I was suspended for dispelling the evils of disney at my job(seriously, I was suspended for making fun of disney, they were sponsoring an event at my job) .
Now what I want to know is that why can someone be thrown from their job for announcing the truth, trying to get people to remove the crust of ignorance from there eyes and see that anime is so much better. I mean, ever since disney saw the success of Mononoke Hime (Princess Mononoke) They've been in this huge frantic state to just dish out an array of cartoons with the hope they become instance success. You just can't exchange crap for gold. Though it does work in some instances, but not all the time.
Answer: First off, as far as your crap for gold analogy goes, you've obviously never been to the congo. Furthermore, my good man, you should have know better than to tangle with disney in public, let alone where you work! Those bastards control half the country. I tought you better than that.
And, despite the constitution, and all those amendment 'thingys', the government, no, the USA is still run by one thing, the almighty dollar. Learn to accept it, my friend, and make the dollars work for YOU!....damn if that didn't sound like a line from a pyramid scheme.
Tuesday, January 16, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: A.J.
Question: Hi Bob my names AMANDA!!! My question is why do peopel have to be such evil judgmental bastards? I mean who decides who's a dork and who is popular????? In my eyes the cool peopel are just the people who don't understand shit and use their "popularity" to make peoplel respect them. Why should we repect them? Bob this world sucks!
Answer: Well, Amanda, people are judgemental bastards because by our very nature, we are cruel animals. We didn't get to the top of the food chain by being polite. As for who decides what is cool, and what isn't, well, we've pretty much left that up to Hollywood.
And I don't respect people based on their "popularity". I prefer getting to know someone, finding out how they think, then making a call. Most "popular" people are far too egotistical for my tastes.
Perhaps even sadder than the popular groups, though, are the 'anti-popular' ones. Take for example, the goth subculture. A group that, more often than not, dislikes the 'popular' people because of their shallow minds and narrow views, but then turn around and do the same thing.
So you see, Amanda, it's not so much the world that sucks, as most of the people IN IT.
Have a nice day.
Monday, January 9, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: blargh
Question: blargh
why does everyone hate billy corgan?
as the curtain falls we bid you all goodnight
Answer: Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I'll tell you why I hate Billy Corgan. Smashing Pumpkins made a few really cool albums, and he took that as a sign to turn into a total god damn freak. Sorry, Billy, but men in leather dresses...not something people want to see. It wasn't cool when the Marquis De Sade did it, and it's not cool now. If you're reading this, Billy, go back to the Billy I remember, the wild haired guy in the ice cream truck, driving through the desert.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: stumbleine
Question: what if im not unique? what if im just like everybody else, and i'll never be special and i'll never be any different. what if nobody ever accepts me. what if i never accept myself? what will happen to me if im not perfect?
Answer: Easy. You'll be driven into the sea with the rest of us by all the popular kids.
Truthfully, however, there's no such thing as a 'normal' person. (Unless we're talking about a lack of birth defects or something). If you don't stick out like a sore thumb, it's not really a bad thing. Hell, I look like a normal member of society! (Granted, this is because my mom buys most of my clothes, I hate shopping with a vengence)
Wrapping up, you're not an automoton if you're worried about it. Make sure to form your opinions, not take other people, and you'll be fine.
Sunday, January 7, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: margos
Question: well mainly my question is...why am i severely odd?
and sub questions: why does this creature keep popping up in my dreams and now that ive painted it it still wont go away?
Answer: Well, we're all a little odd. I'm a prime example of weirdity. So I don't know WHY you're odd, but don't worry about it.
As for the creature, I've found from personal expierience (and many Steven King novels) that giving the creepy things in your head form only makes them more dangerous, not make them go away. Try hitting it with silver.
Thursday, January 4, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: kathy lee gifford
Question: granted I hsven't been to visit you in a while this may be a dumb question, but when the HELL (!!!) did you add all these new people? what the hell??? oh god here comes regis. i'm really getting sick of this whole s&m shit. i mean sure it was fun at first but how manytimes should one woman have to put up wiht being chained to a wall and forced to call some BASTARD guy big bird. should i leave him or just chain him to the wall for a change? okay so thats like two or three questions most of which probably should have gone to dr.booty or the ladies man.
Answer: Wow, folks, looks like America's favorite blonde airhead visits my site from time to time. Fucking hell. Kathy Lee, if you're reading this, never come back, you idiot space whore. That's right, SPACEWHORE. A whore from space.
As for your question, I have added a few people ion the last four months. Yep. Well, have a merry fucking new year. Also, Doctor Booty is somewhere in Arizona, last I heard, and the Ladies Man, well, I don't even want to think about what happened there.
P.S., Heart of a Woman was a shitty album.
Friday, December, 29, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: AL!! (a.k.a. Lieutenant Death)
Question: Why isin't my name in your friends section, Bob? I am one of your friends aren't I? I'm hurt that one of my own friends forgot me. And you know what happenes when my friends hurt me, right? They get punished (I save their deaths for a later now a days). Add me or get punished, ARMY style!!!!
Answer: Okay...someone needs to take it easy on the caffinated beverages. I'll add you to the friends page when I get around to it.
Tuesday, December 26, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Zenon
Question: And what is up with the picture of that Overbyte dude?WASSSSUP biznitches in da eastside!!!! Da Mama's Thang is up in da house. PSX and Dreamcast for da players!! Show nup! Uhh.. uhhh...High class ho's for all dem computer playas!
Whoop whoop!
Will you be my mommmy?
Answer: No, I won't be your fuckin' mommy. Freak.
Saturday, December 24, 2000
For: Doctor BootyName: Freak Girl
Question: (goes with the chili question) Hey Doc? I didn't say i liked Chili, i said i'd bring you some. lol. oh yeah and Merry christmas, i hope you get a stocking full of Chili!!!!! So i don't get yelled at for just rambling, Doc and Bob, What is your favorite holiday? Merry freakin christmas!!!! haha
Answer: See? I've got just as many psycho stalkers as you do, you baby faced BASTARD!
Insomnia Bob: Well, I take it back, Booty, you do have a stalker. Doesn't mean it's a good thing. As for your question, which was little more than a thinly vieled excuse to talk to Booty again, my favorite holiday is thanksgiving, because I like stuffing. And eating with my hands.
Doctor Booty: And MY favorite holiday is St. Patrick's day, because it's the only day of the year when drinking green beer is not only socially acceptable, but ENCOURAGED!
Saturday, December 23, 2000
For: Doctor BootyName: Freak Girl
Question: Hey Booty, do you like chili? Do you want me to bring some over to Cramers for ya? i would if i could but i can't, sorry, i have no car...(damn it damn it damn it, oh how i wish for an el camino) I could make my older brother bring a whole truck bed of it over for ya if you want?!?!?! lol
Answer: See, Bob? I can get psycho groupies too! This chick's into CHILI! I didn't even know people did that!
Insomnia Bob: ...stupid bastard.
Tuesday, December 19, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: TONYA Question: WHY WHY WHY???!!??!! You updated the friends page, and you STILL didn't change the link!!! WHY?! It's www.shroomland.org ! DAMMIT! And I work at PeopleSupport now! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Answer: Why didn't I update your listing on the friends page? Just to fuck with you. And I COULD do it now, but I don't wanna. And you can't make me. HAHAAHHHA!
Sunday, December 17, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Katie G.
Question: Mackie, how come all these girls want to have sex with you? By god! I would never want to slep with a guy who writes on car windsheilds with his own blood or has blood on his shirt.
Is it just one of thoese things? But, I don't find you attractive IN THAT way.
I'm normal, right?
Answer: Well, Katie, I have no fucking idea why all these girls want to have sex with me. My theory? They don't want to have sex with me, not all of them, anyway. They all just want to be famous, and if boning me gets them their 15 minutes of fame, well, it's a small price to pay.
I mean, Tom Green has groupies. And he's a fucking jackass.
And no, you're not normal.
Wednesday, December 13, 2000
Kill your parents.For: Doctor Booty
Name: becca
Question: hey doc booty,
im into the threesome thing. and ill have sex with either of you. preferably bob though.
Answer: Threesome? Like with another chick, right? Cause there's no way in HELL I'm having sex with Bob on the other end.
Insomnia Bob: Dear god. I've got the ugliest picture I own on this site, and I still get about one of these a month. I'm gonna take a knife to my face.
Booty: I wouldn't, dude, chicks dig scars.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name freak girl
Question: hey bob, i was wondering if you ever heard of the bullshit lies that Swanson told about Cramers girlfriend Serra back in may? the lies about Matt cheating on his girlfriend with Serra? I heard that Tony Huber told Cramer about it and Cramer beat the hell out of Matt, did he? I would have paid to see that. I think Cramer should beat his ass. Also, are you and Cramer still friends with Matt? i don't who in their right mind would want to be friends with that peice of shit.
Answer: Yeah, I did hear about that. As for whether or not Cramer beat the hell out of him, I don't know. And I haven't seen that piece of shit in months.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: just a gurl
Question: do you lnow jim-bo? i mean jim conley?
Answer: I have met *A* Jimbo, as seen in the pictures on the friends page. Don't know what his last name is, though.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: becca
Question: do you wanna have sex with me?
Answer: Oh, man, not again.
Doctor Booty: Why the hell doesn't anyone ever ask to bang me?
Insomnia Bob: 'Cause it's MY webpage. I'm famous. Chicks dig that.
Doc Booty: For the best, I guess. You need sex like a smack head needs H. You're too tense, man.
[I'd type up the rest of the damn conversation, but it's late, I'm sick, and I've got work tommorow. Basically, I insulted Booty, he insulted me, and we started throwing bricks at each other. Either that, or someone put a bunch of pennies in my mouth while I was sleeping.]
Monday, December 11, 2000
Sorry for the lack of updates folks, but these are the first questions I've gotten in a while.Oh, and this came in my email just a minute ago. Remember Jodi? The girl who said she wanted to go out with me, and no other girls could? Well....
"Listen bob, i got some bad news for you.
you see i still like you and all but.......
me and my ex hunny are back together. soo i cant really get with you and/or meet you just YET! one day though i plan on it b/c i do."
Looks she decided against it. I guess it was kind of a 'rebound/make ex-boyfriend jealous' stalking...doesn't speak well for me, though. I can't even stay in a relationship with a stalker....god, I'm pathetic. So ladies, I'm still available! (sigh)
And now, questions for your enjoyment, you god damn savages.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Amy Davis
Question: I don't know you, and no I'm not some weirdo stalker person. I've been looking around your page, because somehow, I've gotten lost. I think I saw the link somewhere... around here... uhh, yeah. Anyway - my questions *note the plural form* are these:
(The bold text below are my answers.) St. Louis? Yes.Like, Missouri? Yeah. Like, I went there this summer.. remember some big goofy lutheran youth gathering? No, I hate god, and therefore probably would not be at a religous gathering, unless I was some sort of sacrifice. Something like "G2K" Had a bunch of people in 80's clothing dancing at the crossroads? Ooooh, wait....no. Yes, I went to that. Then I got drunk, and decided that wasn't the way for me. My next question - Why is it that after drinking massive amounts of Vodka you feel as though you're not hungry until you eat.. and then you can't eat enough. I'm not very good at this whole drinking thing, and that kinda of scared me... Anyway... guess I'll uhh... go now.. bye!
Answer: As for your final question, we'll turn to our resident rummy, Doctor Booty!
Doc Booty: Well....um....okay, wait, no...that would only work with beer....hell, I dunno. Maybe you just imagined the whole thing...I'm more of a Jack and Coke man myself...without the coke...oh, god...I can't stop myself! I drink when I cry, and a I cry when I drink! SOMEONE HELP ME!! Aaaaah. -
Insomnia Bob: ...um, there...there...it'll be...alright...?
For: The Ladies Man
Name: Shel
Question: I had sex with this guy and now I can't even talk to him because I feel weird. Give me some advice so I don't feel so weird because I want us to be friends?
Answer: God help us, here he is, the Ladies Man.
Ladies Man: Yeah, now, first off, I'd like to address the issue of this punk ass dude callin' himself the Ladies Man, on Saturday Night Live. I'm always havin' people come up to me, and say, "Oh, you're the Ladies Man? Like that guy on SNL?". No, children, I am the ORIGINAL Ladies Man. Accept no substitues.
As for your situation, just go talk to the man. If you don't, he's gonna feel like he's bad in bed. Which he probably is, but you don't need to rub it in his face...no pun intended.
Doc Booty: Or you could just kick him in the balls and ask him why he hasn't called you.
Insomnia Bob: You two make me ashamed to be a biped. Shel, just talk to the poor bastard. He's probably as weirded out as you are. As for wanting to be friends...well, I don't have any friends that have hot sweating animal sex with me, so that could confuse the hell out of him, but on the other hand, he might not care. God, I'm tired of telling people how to live.
Sunday, November 26, 2000
Got a couple questions over the weekend.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: suzie p.
Question: hey bob do you havea pic of nathan bent id like to see what this guy looks like!
bye!
Answer: Well, no, I don't. But what the hell, I'll get one. Check the page for updates.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: chris n lee
Question: hello hello
this's got to be the greatest question I never thought of -- luckly I have my friend Lee.
(drum roll please - thank you that's enough - damn it I said enough - right okay now we can get on with it)
why did kamakazi pilots wear helmets?
a prompt answer would be much appreciated
muchly
Christiana and Lee
Answer: Kamikaze pilots wore helmets to avoid getting killed BEFORE they could slam their torpedo like planes into American aircraft carriers. If you're going to ride a powder keg traveling at 150mph, you don't want to be clipped in the head by a seagull, and not complete you mission.
Also, it made their hair look cool.
Okay, this one is a little weird, but here we go. For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Jodi Silliam
Question: Hi Bob, Even though ive never met you in this life time that im aware of, i feel a special bond between us.I was wondering when i could meet you. Ill let you know something about myself here. for one, i am a senior and i am 17 yrs old and i live in SOCO. I do have a car soo i can drive places as in to meet and all. i have a job at Crestwood mall in the food area. you know by the pizza place.. hint hint. I am a about 5'7, have a strawberry kinda blond hair, i am 119 lbs, have greenish blue eyez, and i am sorta tan right now cuz i just went tanning. other wise id be pale. I do work out so i got some muscles girl power all the way. i like to go clubbing downtown to clubs like tabu, they actually will let me in, i go to incahoots, ive been in liquid and voodoo and creepy crawl. they are the best especially creepy crawl and liquid. Baasically im saying when can i see you in person. i have printed out your pic and i look for you in public all thetime and for you at crestwood mall whenveri work. cum visit me one day in the food court allright??? id love it if you did cuz i wanna get to know you sweetie. i hope you post this too soo all them other girls out htere know im here and ill fight for you.
Answer: Uh, okay. Please don't kill me.
Wednesday, November 22, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Classified
Question: I'm already putting in around 40 hours a week where I work, and my boss has asked me to work on Thanksgiving. Granted, I don't really wanna spend time with my family anyway... what should I do?
Answer: Hm. Okay, here's what you do. If your Grandmother, or some other elderly is coming in for Thanksgiving, hit em up for money. Failing that, use any younger members of the family, like a toddler. After you either get the money, or are refused it, slug the family member in the stomach. Then they won't feel bad about you not being there, and you'll be off the hook.
Doc Booty: Now your talking my language. HAW HAW!
Monday, November 13, 2000
God, I'm sick. And I need a job.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Linzie
Question: Bob, how can i convince my parents to let me get my tounge peirced? I am 18 but i still live with the wretched old people, and if i get it peirce without their permission, they'll kick me out and it's a little to cold to be sleeping in the park again. Waht should i do???
Answer: Well...
Doctor Booty: I got this one. Instead of getting a nose ring, how about you get a JOB. Then you can move out, and you won't HAVE to worry about what your parents think. Mooch.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Linzie (again)
Question: This isn't really a question but....bob, you should have you're own tv show, you and Doc Booty. Cause your site is awesome and it would be pretty damn funny (or cool, i don't know I'm high so don't yell at me please?) to see you guys give people advise on tv. Well yea, oh wait, i do have a question, do you think the MTV show Jack ass is funny? I'm thinking about sending my younger brother down a bumpy hill on a skate board. Heh.
Answer: Yes, I do like Jackass. I've got several hours of it on tape. But no, I'll never have my own TV show. (Unless the money is right.)
Friday, October 27, 2000
Sin the Anime is out, that might be good.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Apryl S.
Question: Ok Bob I have read your website and I think that you are the first person i want to ask consideringyou are honest! First off this whole Halloween thing, why must people dress up as characters, like it is some privledge to dress as a TeLETUBBies,pokemon, and clowns. And what fucked up parent would let their son/daughter dress up in leather like i saw at Johonnie Brocks? I wonder here, what is this would coming to. So Bob what will you be for Halloween?
Answer: Apryl, you did good to come to me. Originally, Halloween was some Olde English holiday, marking the time of year when daylight hours were less, and the increase of darkness, giving it obvious supernatural overtones. It has been kept alive in our modern era of understanding by companies like Hershey's, who make a mint this time of year. The costumes are just a gimick to hook kids, though that's a pretty good racket to be in, as well.
And as for stupid parents, hell, watch Springer sometime. Most of THOSE people had kids. Is it really so hard to imagine a parent who wouldn't care where their kid worked, or dressed in what? In China, parents sometimes sell their own children to pimps.
But out of all the holidays, this is one of the best. Since most of the festivities occur at night, it allows me to pursue one of my hobbies nearly unwatched. SNEAKING UP ON OLD PEOPLE! So get yourself something flammable, a Richard Nixon mask, and rob your local 7-11. Have fun. Don't get shot.
And this year, I will be going as either Rodney Dangerfield with a Muskett, or a violent man with a pumpkin for a head.
Wednesday, October 9, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Little Miss Sunshine
Question: What do you have against green beans? They're so innocent! (Albeit tasteless....)
And what are your feelings on brussel sprouts?
Answer: Well, I feel any kind of vegatable is unnatural, disgusting, and just downright EVIL. I only enjoy one food group, MEAT. The only one that matters. So unless it's a brussle sprout molded out of ground chuck, it's not for me.
Monday, October 2, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: (none included) Question: well actually, my question is kinda for everyone...i want all of your opinions
how do we know that what we percieve as reality is what others percieve?
Asnwer: You'll have to excuse the lack of response from everyone else, it'd be impractical to ask all of them, record resposes, etc. Besides, most of my friends arn't exactly philosophy buffs.
I think reality can best be described by what you can see, hear, touch, smell, taste and feel. That's the short answer. I'm not going to give you the long answer, that takes years.
Keep in mind, though, you only have so much time before your body shuts down. Live in the moment, don't worry about the future too much, but don't ignore it, either. And above all, don't eat green beans. Those things CAN'T be good for you, I don't care what the FDA says.
Sunday, October 1, 2000
For: Doctor BootyName: chrys
Question: if i had a friend, and he or she had these urges to beat people senseless, would you think he or she is normal? and would you try to beat him or her senseless?
and what would happen if one day he or she did beat someone senseless. if maybe one day he or she beat a certain two little cunt-rats to death? Doc Booty: Hey! A question to ME! Um, lemme think....sure, wanting to beat people untill they bleed from their ears is perfectly normal, as is wanting to beat up your friends. I'm not sure what a cunt-rat is, but I doubt anyone will miss a couple. I WANT A MCRIB, DAMMIT!
Friday, September 29, 2000
12:06 am. Ug.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: margaret
Question: this is serious and i am drunk, so please dont be an ass to me
(Well, at least she's honest. Request granted.) why are guys bastards?
why would a guy go out with me when hes already got a girlfriend?
why would he not dump his skinny little rat-faced bimbo whoring cunthead girlfriend for me, when i have a good body and im pretty and im not high pitched and i fucking blew him. three fucking times. three more fucking times than she ever has.
help me damn you
Answer: Well, Margaret, first off, I like your style...you're angry, you're probably close to violence, and you swear like a sailor. You remind me of someone...can't put my finger on it though...
Anyway, in reference to your question, your average guy is a meat head, who would do anything for sex. That's nota stereotype, we REALLY are like that. So this guy probably never intended to dump his girlfriend for you (though you should know better than to date a guy who is already involved, those always end bad), and just let his hormones get the better of him.
My advice? If possible, go up to his CURRENT girlfriend, (try to pull up some tears for effect, and feed her some crap line about how he seduced you, and you're SOOO sorry. This should vent all her anger right onto him, and then he won't get to date either of you. Hehe. Better luck next time, Margaret.
Selah.
Thursday, September 14, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: jiggaman(dan)
Question: WHY DO I GO BIG PIMPIN SPENDING CHEESE?, WHY DO I GO BIG PIMPIN ON BLAD? WHY do i go BIg pimpin up in NYC? and why do just jiggamen like me pimp in bumb???? DO you ever go pimpin? I do. I got me some GOLD pimpin rings.they are boss. Im here in STL! WAZZ UP MY SOCO PLAYAS! (im white bytheway)WORD UP! Bob if you ever go pimpin give me the names of some of your bitches. I am need of mo'.... and hey can i rent some of your friends for $8,.. i read over your ask bob section and then all the archives and got some names of people i want you too hook me up with. here goes my list: listen carefully Bodera, Christina, That ashy girl seems fiesty, ruby, juliej/k girl, Katie, CArly, Amanda, Amy, Stephee, Laurie, Stephnie,Lacey, That some girl seems fiesty too,TOnya, Ericka, and Jenny. IF they all your hoes You Are a JIGGAMAN, BALLA, PLAYA! and you are a role model to me! I will be back to see if you found me a nice bitch to talk to I have AIM and email Email me
WAZZ UP MY SOCO PLAYAS!
im out
DAN
Answer: Okay, number one, I don't have any 'bitches'. Second, the fact that you introduced yourself with lyrics from a Jay-z song would add a $20 surcharge if I DID have bitches. Per hour. Third...I don't KNOW half the people that leave messages on this page, case in point, YOU. I'm not running a god damn escort service here.
Thursday, September 01, 2000
I believe OBSESSIVE is the word your looking for.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: ashy
Question well, its me again..ashy....ok so im a little weird.....but weird is good....right???? well.....anyway....my question is....ummmm actually i dont have a question......and bob or whatever your name is...i just emailed u asking what the addy of this site is....but i figured it out....so its cool.....dont need to know the addy anymore...... hmmm so my question is....oh yeah thats right, dont have a question.....heh heh heh sorry im a little dumb....well i have a good excuse...im blonde.. but im not a bimbo....OK im just crapping on.... so.....ooooooo i know......DO YOU LIKE BANANA'S IN PYJAMAS????
Answer: No, I don't like Banana's in Pajamas.
I actaully got five messages from Ashy today, and it's only 7:17am. I'm sure I can expect more when she comes back from school. I'm not going to post the other four.
Wednesday, August 31, 2000
People are fucking weird. For: Insomnia BobName: Matthew Question: I AM sitting here typing this, I only have 10 m inutes left. They are after my brain! rOBBERT YOU MUST HELP me! They are coming for everyone too! Robert I am warnign you because you seem like a level headed man! Save me please they are coming................
Answer: Okay, I'm getting tired of getting messages like this. This is for QUESTIONS, you bastards, not for you to spout of for whatever damn reason.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: angelforyou
Question: Hey Bob I see you are single! Well sexy I wish I could have a man like you! So like can I???? Don't worry bob I only have 2 kids, they are wonderful kids though! well Talk to you later cute stuff!
Answer: Yeah, yeah, everyone wants some, if it'll make em famous. Ehh.
For: Insomnia Bob Name: Bodera (Matthew's GF) Question: Hi My Name is Bodera.Do my boobs look good in this shirt.most peopel say yes.. buti think they could be bigger( you see i wanna be a porn star and i had an offer the other day when i was at Crestwood) anyway also i was wondering does my asss look good in these leather shorts??? i hope so b.c. i love these shorts and they make me look good i think at least.........Also I tihnk my hair is ok do you?Its soo pretty and soft.. wanan touch it? how bout you doc booty? i know you do *wink wink* cant say too much my BF came in the room.. Ta-TA LOVE BODERA!!!
Answer: Well, that's the second girl in as many days to ask me if her butt looks good. I really don't get why people ask me that. I have no idea what you freaks look like. And Doc Booty is on vacation.
Monday, August 28, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: ashy
Question: did adam and eve really exist???? if so that like makes there kids incest and there whole family....ewwwwwww ...INCEST....gross..man lifes a bitch.
Answer: ...okay, I've got no idea what your talking about.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: ashy
Question: insomniabob...is your name actually bob?????? and does this top look ok on me???? does my bum look big in these pants???? is my hair ok???? do u think i have fat ankles?
Answer: Yes, my name is Bob. But no one calls me that. As for the rest...consult a doctor. Not you, Booty.
Doc Booty: DAMN! I can't get no play!
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: ashy
Question is the world gonna blow up in the next ummmm 5 minutes?????????
Answer: ...no.
Sunday, August 20, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Christiana
Question: Hey Robert! (no I will not call you MacKie or Bob cause I hate that name)Now, as for my question. Why is it that things just disapear? Like I'm sitting on my bed cutting out pictures of Gundam Wing stuff to glue on to random peices of my school crap and the picture of Gundam Heavyarms just disapears. It's not under the bed or on it or stuck to something else it's just gone. Totally and utterly vanished! What was I to do how was I to proceed (quote-grin)? Now my Trowa Barton section is not completed! Wow, that's long and only partly a question, although, there is one in there. Talk to ya later see ya spring break, K-Dog.
Answer: Um, I think Gremlins are stealing your stuff.
Friday, August 18, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: RUBY
Question: my question is...why do you seem so sad? throughout this whole site you seems so upset, but when we talk you don't act quite as bitter. i'm predicting a smartass reply. don't let me down now mackie!!
Answer: Well, I'm not really sad, just...disillusioned. Everytime I leave the house, all I see is STUPID people, everywhere! So, I guess I'm a little....bitter. Have a nice day!
Monday, August 14, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Eric
Question: I think something is really wrong with me. my side has been hurting. but not like a stomach ache like a sharp pain. and its between my pelvis and my belly button. What is wrong with me? IS it serious?
Answer: You probably just ate to many burritos. Have some pepto-bismo.
Doc Booty: It COULD be one of those things from ALIEN! And that's my proffesional opinion as a doctor.
Tuesday, August 1, 2000
First (printable) one I've had in a while.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: um This is fake! I'm JULIE J/k
Question: Are you gay? Do you have a girlfriend? Would you like to be mine bf?
Answer: No, I'm not gay. No, I don't have a girlfriend. And maybe. I'd have to meet you.
Doc Booty: Yeah. He doesn't want to accidently hook up with some fat ho!
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: ruby
Question: i don't have a question and i'm not about to bore you with bullshit babble. i just wanted to remind you that you are great.you are my hero.
much respect, RUBY
Answer: Wow. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks.
Wednesday July 12, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Seifer Tim
Question: You know who the guy is yur hodowning with.... You should you Frickin' Moron... And if you don't know who I am, you really suck...Mighty Bob....
Answer: This'd be Tim. We were in a gang once. Well, we called it a gang, but we just sat around this one corner of the schoolyard. Oh well.
Tuesday, July 11, 2000
For: Insomnia Bob Name: Joe Question: I have the major fantasy of shitting down my wife's throat, I have always talked about this with her, but she is not very keen on it. I'm not sick am I?? How should I persuade her to let me do it??Answer: UUh.....Doc?
Doctor Booty: Simmer down there, tiger. Lemme have a lookie...JESUS! What the hell is wrong with you? You SICK LITTLE FUCK! Ah man, that's just NASTY! I'm going to Denny's. You coming?
Insomnia Bob: Uh, yeah.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Joe again
Question: some questions:
1) Were hot dogs ever made of dogs?
2>Why do things appear darker when wet?
3> How do astronauts use the bathroom?>
4) Why wont my wife let me shit down her throat yet?
Answer: Booty, he's back.
Doc: Oh shit.
Bob: Well, what are we going to do?
Doc: We'll have to kill him. Let's go to the hardware store.
Bob: ...why?
Doc: Well, if I'm gonna kill someone, I want to enjoy it.
Bob: Fine. But I'm not paying.
Doc: That's cool. I stole Jake's credit card.
Monday, July 10, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: John Goewert
Question: My mommie says I'm special, why is that?
Also, I have a wife and kid(on the way)... is it wrong to turn it's playpen upside down and make it a cell?
Answer: Don't know why you're mom says your special. Doc Booty says she's a liar. As for turning the baby pen upside down to make a cage, perfectly fine. My parents did it all the time.
Thursday, July 6, 2000
Well, I wasn't gonna continue to discuss this crap on the page, but what the hell.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Mike E. [Mike Everett] Question: What the fuck is going on?!?!? Ok, I understand that it was your birthday, and that he did let them into your home, but don't you think your overreacting a little bit? Don't you think this is a bit childish? Your not seriously about to ruin a friendship over something like this, are you? Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying that this is absurd. Everyone in this little group wants to kill eachother at one time or another for some stupid reason. But this is being taken way to seriously.
Answer/Preach Session: Well, I don't think I'm really overreacting. I didn't slug him, and I didn't kick him out of the house. I think I'm right to be pissed off about someone being rude and threatening me in my house. And for that matter, Cramer CREATED this situation. And I'll explain how after this...
Cramer sent this to the ask bob page a day or so ago.
(For) Insomnia Bob
(Name) Cramer
(Question)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
God damn, you have your fucking nerve. Where do I begin...
First, I told you I respected the fact that I was your guest but no one is gonna talk to my girlfriend like that, especially when I'm sitting right there.
[He says this while in my face. Real understanding of him. I understand how he'd be upset about that, but he doesn't seem to realize she was making me look like an asshole in front of my friends. -Bob]
Secondly, Serra was just fuckin' around with you and you took it so seriously. And even after you totally overreacted she apoligized to you.
[Serra could tell I was getting pissed. She kept on being annoying. I was too damn angry to accept any appology. Strike two. -Bob]
Third, I didn't threaten you, I just told you as clearly as I could not to talk to Serra like that. I can only assume when you say that I "threatned you for the first time," you are referring to when I said that if you did it again that there would be a problem.
[Not true. Earlier in the night I had mentioned it was my birthday. Cramer said for my birthday, he was giving me a "get out of asskicking free card", or some such crap. What he said to me was "Oh, I knew you'd use that card up before the end of the night". Which implies two things. One, that I am so predictably annoying that he could tell he'd want to kick my ass before the end of the night, and that under normal circumstances he would have kicked my ass. He could have said ANYTHING but that, and there would be no problem. Strike three.]
Fourth, when you say "cool down for a while" I guess you mean pounding around upstairs. Do you think that we didn't hear all that shit, or were you doing that intentionally? [I went upstairs and put a hole in my wall. Being so angry I'm about to hit one of my best friends is not a happy feeling for me. -Bob]
Then when you came back down YOU threatened ME not to threaten you, you fucking hypocrite. ("Don't you ever fucking threaten me") Isn't that what you said?
[Nope. I said "Don't fuckign threaten me in my house". That wasn't a threat. That was a statement of how things should be. I don't threaten my friends. And you shouldn't either.]And I did not LEAP (WHEEE!) off the couch I stood up because you were standing over me. I wasn't gonna "slug you". And what "shit" was I talking to you. I just said that you seriously needed to chill the fuck out. And I'm not even gonna start on the fucking video games. And dude, for real, if you ever touched me , I would have beat the ever loving shit out of you OK? (in your own house no less)
[Very nice. For the record, I would never hit you. Not because I'm afraid of you, but because you're my friend. Ass.] If you want to contest that statement, any time, any place. ( and FYI it's a brown belt). Oh and about how this was on your birthday, I told you you would redeem that card before the end of the night. Haha faggot![Oh, ya got me there. Dick.] P.S. I double dare you to post this you fucker.[Well, I did. Hope it made your day.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
(how) Some faggot ass pussy told me, "Hey check out my fucked up website."
Faggot ass pussy. Good one, Cramer. Very subtle.
Now, while I agree my telling Serra to shut the fuck up might not have been very couth, she was being agrivating, and on purpose. She could see I was getting pissed, and kept at it. When I DID finnally tell her to shut up, Cramer threatened to kick my ass. He could have said ANYTHING but what he did, and we wouldn't have this problem. He could have just said, "Hey, don't say that to her.", and there would be no issue. But instead, he threatened me. I'm right, he's wrong, and he can go to hell.
He'll never apologize, because he's Cramer, and I won't apologize becuase, well, HE created the problem. Not me. FURTHERMORE, since everyone else in his little band of friends is taking his side in the matter, (and they know who they are) I really don't care anymore. If you've got to cut me out of the group, fine.
Wednesday, July 5, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Thorr
Question: "What is most important in life?"
(Hint: There are many answers to this...but only ONE right answer.)
Answer: Destroy your enemies, have them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women. Easy.
Tuesday, July 4, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Lunchbox
Question: Why are you so freaking sensitive? You always put up this front like you are the total bad ass bastard of the world and then you get pissed off at the stupidest things. What the hell?! I'm just trying to understand you, you bastard.
Answer: [Okay, folks, let me give you a little background informantion. What Katie is reffering to is an incident at my house a few days. I'm hanging out over there with Cramer, Skippy, Mike Everett, and Adam. Sometime around 2am or so, Serra (Cramer's girlfriend), Katie, and Laura show up. CRAMER invites them in. I let that one slide. Then Serra starts aggrivationg me. Asked me ten times if we had any Band Aid's. Finnally, I get pissed and tell her to shut the fuck up. It's at this point that Cramer threatens me for the first time. Now, I have a bit of a problem being threatened in my own house, but I don't do anything crazy. I go upstairs, and cool down for a while. I come back down, and while Cramer's sitting on the couch, I tell him not to threaten me in my own house. He LEAPS up like he's going to slug me, and get's in my face. Talks a bunch of shit about how I need to act my age, I'm a seventeen year old man now..(this from the only guy over the age of 7 I know who still breaks video game controllers because the game "cheats"). I tell him he needs to have some respect for me in my own fucking house. Cramer refuses to back down. I'm so pissed now, I'm about to hit him. Purple Belt in Karate be damned. I go into the bathroom, and when I come out, everyone's leaving. I get a ride with Mike Everret back to my mom's house. Oh, and this was all on my birthday.]
Well, Katie, I think I had a fucking right to be pissed off. I was insulted, threatened, and mocked in my own damn house, by someone I though was my friend. And you people just stood there like mutes. So fuck you. Don't get high and mighty with me. Cramer was being an asshole, and you know it. I stand by my actions. You don't like it, don't talk to me. I don't need any of you bastards.
Saturday, July 1, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Jimbo
Question: Hey Bob!!! I'm the guy you were ho-downing with! I'm a good friend of Walter, Katie, Jake.........etc.............Add me to yer friends page
Answer: Ho drowning, huh? Well, that could be damn near anyone. You'll have to be more specific if you want to be on the friends page.
Friday, June 30, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Zero
Question: This isn't a question, but N-E way, if anybody here reads the Sunday comics in the St.Louis Post Dispatch, It is likely that you are familiar with Wiley's Non-Sequitor. In this, a single man awakens to the truth of our cookie cutter society, and tries desperately to stop it. I suggest that this comic be read by all so that you can obtain some Idea to see how stupid people can really be. GODAMN YOU AOL GUY (I forget his name), or should I say GAY-OL. If it weren't for bastards like him, Gates, Jobs, and the E-bay guy, The interne would still be a great place. Now All I see is porn adds and Teeny Bopper sites. That crap is not supposed to be here, damnit!! I dunno. Maybe I'm gripin' for no reason. I need a hot pocket.
-Zero
Answer: Okay...well, yeah. Where's my damn CDs, you bastard?
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Skippy
Question: Just so you know sport your ravings page got too big in size and geocities won't display the bottom of it. And what gets blood stains out of carpet?
Answer: Well, Skippy, there are now a great many cleaning agents with the power to get blood out of carpet, even that pesky eggshell white! Most of these work on concentrater citric acid. Tune in next week to learn how to use lime to get rid of the bodies!
Wednesday, June 21, 2000
Superfly! You're gonna make your fourtune by and by...For: Insomnia Bob
Name: carly
Question: How can you tell if a guy is normal or if he's a psycho? Can anyone tell at all? Does it really matter whether he is or isn't? Are we all crazies deep down (actually i think i already know the answer to that)? Thankyou, i'd appreciate your input :)
Answer: Well, since this deals with mental illness, I'll delegate to Dr. Booty. Doc?
Doctor Booty: Fuck you. Anyway, Carly, mental illness is very hard to spot. Crazy people may seem just like you and me, but there is one way you can spot them. Most crazy people are jewish, or have jewish people in their bloodline.
Insomnia Bob: WHAT? Hey, wait...
Doctor Booty: You see Carly, the jews are responsible for the destruction of this fine country. They are responsible for our economnic strife, unemployment, and mosquitos. They also...(THWACK!)
Insomnia Bob: More and more of these question end up with one of us unconscious. This is starting to get bad....
A NOTE FROM MY LEGAL COUNCIL: The Official Insomnia Bob Webpage and it's creator, Robert Mackie, will not be held responsible for Doctor Booty's comments. In other words, if you see us walking down the street, remember, HE'S the one who hates Jews. Not me. Thank you.
Tuesday, June 20, 2000
Today looked to be promising. Looks can be decieving.For: The Ladies Man
Name: Kyle (BIRDBOY)
Question: If my girl friends fist swings at my head at approx 5 MPH, and I am running away from her at 3 MPH, and assuming its a solar eclipse and I grow wings and fly away..... why the hell do I keep running into the glass???
Answer: Simple. You need to watch where your stupid ass is going. Maybe get those peepers checked. I don't have time to be answerin' dumb questions like this. Next time one of you stupid white people asks me a dumbass question ain't got nothing to do with mackin', pimpin', or turning tricks, I'm gonna put a knife in the next honky I see!
[The following is not a question. I got an email from this girl.]
What the hell is the robot site you have listed as good or whatever it SUCKS!!! Just thought i would let you know!!
Peace
Amanda
Answer: I would just like to say, your a fool. You obviously didn't go very fat IN to the Robot Frank site. That site is an expression of comedic ART. And DAMN you for wasting my time in this fashion!
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: MWC
Question: John is about to have a baby.
How do you take care of a baby?
Are they the same as cats?
Answer: John's having a kid? Oh shit...I have to sit down...
Doctor Booty: Don't worry, Bob, I'll take this one!
Insomnia Bob: NO! (Thud!)
Doctor Booty: Anyway, like I was saying, babies are alot like cats. They bite alot, and they shit ALL over the place. Bob's friend Brian Packanowski, his girlfriend's sister's kid, I swear to GOD he looks like Sloth, from Goonies. Everytime I see him I try to get him to say "Baby Ruth". Hehe.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Kailei
Question: This one is serious adn I need to know and alot of girls need to know...
...If I guy isn't intrested in physically stuff, then what is he intrested in?
...What do guys like you(as is people you hang out with) like?
...What do you want for your birthday?
...How can I make my brotehr not grow up into a corprate conformist who spends his weekends sorting his socks?
Answers: First off, I don't know. Second, fire. Third, a furby. Gonna pack it with meat a beat it to death. Fourth....I don't know!
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: christiana
Question: What the hell is wrong with people these days?
And who decided that a cookie cutter society was a good thing anyway? They should all be SHOT!! No, I take they back. They should all be slowly tortured from the feet up and then served in an appitizing manner to their own families!! Anyway you know of me and my wierd ways so this shouldn't surprise you. Have fun not sleeping in St.Louis.
Answer: That's not really a question...but people like things small, and in terms they can easily explain. Because people are stupid.
Friday, June 16, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: S and S(you know who we are )
Question: So Bob, Why do sharks sleep under my bed???(hey Bob we just wrote this at 2:00 in the morning, and we are glad we back on your good side ) ahhhhhhhhhhhhh shark attack, they got stephee' s leg, oh my god!! the gutter slut is being eaten by a great white hehehe
see ya bob
ps: Robot Frank aka bryan madden kicks ass (plus he's hot)
Answer: Remember, kids, drugs are bad for you. This is proof. For the LOVE OF GOD, JUST SAY NO! And stay in school.
For: Insomnia Bob
Name: S.Carter(not my real name)
Question: was this website hard 2 create
Answer: Not really
Thursday, June 15, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Zero
Question: I don't understand. Anyway, what's up with the trash guy leaving these bags of trash on my front yard, but these aren't ordinary bags of trash. These bags are filled with fingers. All kinds of fingers. Fish fingers, chicken fingers, human fingers, you name it, it's there. Seeing as to how I'm getting this stuff for free. Is there a possible market for assorted fingers? -Zero
Answer: Uh, Walt, I have a confession to make. That was me. It started out as an April fools joke, but I got too many fingers. April fools, heh heh, DON'T TELL THE COPS!
Tuersday, June 13, 2000
For: Insomnia BobName: Zero
Question: Godamnit!!! when the hell RU gonna give me some credit foo!! I gave U da'phat font U gotz on da' front page, but I guess I gotta finish the other stuff. N-E ways, I'm havin' a "gentlemen's" party some time this year and I want to know if Dr.Booty could possibly line up some "entertainment" per say, da' biznitches. Could he possibly lend a hand?
-Zero
Answer: I'm going to regret this. Doc?
Doctor Booty: WHAAAZAAAAAPP???
Insomnia Bob: Okay, think you can help out my man here?
Doctor Booty: Heh, Gentlemen's Party. WHAAAAAZAAAAAAAPP!!!!
Insomnia Bob: Yeah.
Friday, June 2, 2000
I found a corpse in my backyard.For: Insomnia Bob
Name: Xang lo
Question: like your web page....you have a talent for writing...reminds me of a young Hunter.S.Thompson...you are definitly practicing Gonzo Gurrellia Web design....Dont let the Bastards grind you down
Answer: Well, there isn't a question there, but thanks, Xang.
The rest of the Ask Bob questions have been moved to the archives.
