Chapter 7
Maintain Control
Healthy group interaction thrives when you, as a leader, exercise good control. Without control, your discussion can end up like the novice camper's fire. He carefully gathered and stacked dry tinder, branches, and logs. With determination, he rubbed two sticks together and endured the tedious task until a spark ignited a bit of tinder. Sitting back with a sigh of relief, his enjoyment turned to horror as he watched the fire ignite the wood he had stacked nearby. Soon the whole campsite was ablaze.
Lively discussion is much like fire. Though it is exactly what you want, without control, discussion can be devastating. To make the best use of lively discussion, you must do two things—keep the discussion from becoming a problem and end the discussion in a profitable way.
Maintaining control doesn't mean that you do all the talking. It doesn't mean you monitor everything the others say or that others can talk only when you give them permission. You are maintaining control when you direct the discussion toward the proper goals.
You should be prepared to adapt your style of control to the needs of the discussion. There will be times when all you do is sit back and listen. At other times, you may lead the discussion by calling on specific people to respond. Sometimes you will maintain control by entering the discussion and sharing other viewpoints. You may interject guiding questions or make statements. On occasion, you may need to speak bluntly and forcefully. Sometimes you may think that you have things well in hand only to discover that they're not. You must then take quick and definite steps to regain control before the discussion has a destructive effect on the group.
Remember, lively discussion isn't your enemy. You shouldn't fear or resent it. At the same time, don't assume that lively group discussion means the members are growing spiritually. Lively discussion can become a problem in several ways.
Too Much Time
When people are very interested in a topic, everyone wants the last word. People tend to think, "If only others could see my side, they would agree with me." So the discussion tends to continue, and people may resist the idea of moving on. But it is always better to end a discussion a little early than a little late. This keeps interest high and boredom low.
One way to move the discussion along is to ask that only two or three more people speak on the subject. You can do this by saying, "I know this is interesting to all of us, and a lot of good ideas have been coming out; but I think it is best that we move ahead. So I am going to ask that only three more people speak on this subject."
There may be more than three who want to speak, so you'll have to make a selection. This is a good opportunity for you to bring in some of the quieter members of the group.
Off the Track
When enthusiasm runs high, it isn't uncommon for one thing to lead to another, and soon someone is telling a joke or describing the plot of a television program. While some side issues can be important and helpful, many lead only to a waste of the group's time.
When you see the discussion veering off target, you can redirect it by reusing your launching question. Or, you may have to jump in the middle by saying, "Wait a minute! Excuse me for breaking in here, but I'm afraid that we are beginning to discuss things that are not really a part of our Bible study. Let's get back to the subject by looking at what you wrote down in your Bible study this week." This may seem abrupt, but it's far better to use your leadership to focus on profitable topics than to allow discussions in the wrong areas.
If one person, week after week, persists in steering the group off the main topic with humor, personal experiences, and other things, you should speak with that person privately. Ask for his or her help in getting the discussion to center on the most important issues for the good of the group.
Taking Sides
Many topics in your Bible study discussion will have more than one acceptable conclusion. When interacting on these topics, don't allow an "I'm right—you're wrong" attitude. This attitude forces members to choose one side or the other. Polarization can result.
Instead, you can maintain control by explaining that there are good reasons to accept either conclusion. Neither position on the issue may necessarily be wrong. Promote an atmosphere that accepts differing points of view.
As a leader, when you see people begin to take sides, redirect their attention by using a guiding questions to focus on a more important issue that is part of the same discussion. For example, imagine that your group is discussing what day Christ was crucified. Some members feel that it was on a Friday. Others are convinced it was a Wednesday. After allowing different people to discuss their views, you sense polarization beginning. This is your cue to maintain control by saying, "There is a lot of good thought set forth by scholars for both positions. Rather than pursue this further, let's consider some things that Christ accomplished by His crucifixion." A profitable discussion generates light that increases understanding, rather than heat that increases tension.
When you do find yourself in a heated debate, with the group taking sides, control can be restored by saying something like, "Excuse me for interrupting, but I feel that we're on the verge of making a mistake. If we're not careful in our discussion, we're going to say things that will hurt someone's feelings. Later on we'll wish we could retract some of our statements. Let's stop and have a word of prayer about this, because we don't want to be criticizing or condemning others."
After prayer, it will be up to you to redirect the interaction by either asking a guiding question or by moving on to the next topic.
Opinion Only
If you allow the group to go on and on, sharing only their opinions, you'll be fostering frustration. People can't base their lives on the "authority" of an opinion. People need the truth of the Word of God.
This doesn't mean you should prohibit opinions. If people are sharing their ideas on how to teach a Sunday School Class of 10-year-old boys, more than likely, much will be learned from one another. But suppose someone stated an opinion that, as Christians, we should always vote for the candidates who are Christians regardless of their political stand. You should immediately recognize the possible danger of that kind of discussion. Exercise your leadership by saying something like, "Before we end up in a hassle about politics, I'd like us to take a look at our Bible study and share what we learned about . . . ." Don't let "opinions only" discussions throw your group out of control.
Ending Profitably
Lively discussions rarely die a natural death. People become too involved emotionally and they are often having too much fun to want to quit. Often you will need to bring the discussion to a conclusion. For the comfort of your members and the ongoing success of your group, you should end discussion in a profitable way.
Project Assignment
Occasionally, there will be a thriving discussion where members aren't certain of their facts, statistics, or what the Scriptures say. In situations like this, ask for a volunteer to do a special study project and give a report to the group at a future meeting.
It is wise to have this kind of report given at the end of the meeting. If presented at an earlier time, you'll find it difficult to avoid a time-consuming discussion on the subject all over again. By having the report at the end of the meeting, members will be able to choose to stay for further discussion or to go home after the report is given.
Sum It Up
Many times in a lively discussion, people concentrate more on their own ideas than on the ideas of others, and they miss the benefit of other points of view. A good summary can help you compensate for this tendency.
To give a good summary, listen carefully to all that is said. Then, when it is time to move on to the next subject, you can say, "Let's summarize what we have learned about this. Here's what I've heard . . . ."
Make Statements
Some important Bible study topics don't have conclusive answers from the Bible. In this kind of discussion members can become frustrated by the lack of clear directives. Instead of being authoritative where the Scriptures are not, direct the members' attention away from what is not known to what is known.
For example, many groups discuss appropriate Christian behavior. Although the Bible does not address many activities specifically, you can still end the discussion by making statements rather than leaving the group with only their unresolved questions.
You can direct their attention to the clear statement of Scripture in passages like 1 Corinthians 10:23, "Everything is permissible—but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible—but not everything is constructive." Another principle on these topics is given in 1 Corinthians 10:31, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." This will not answer every question, but it will lead toward the truth, which will help people settle questions for themselves.
Encourage Application
Lively discussion can become more and more theoretical and less and less practical. It's far easier for people to discuss the effect of missions in Africa than to discuss ways of reaching out to their neighbors. Use a good application question to end these interactions. You may say, "This discussion has all been very interesting. Now, in order to profit the most, what can we be doing about it?"
Education on an issue is needed less often than putting into practice what is already known. Make sure your discussions lead to applications.
Summary
Maintain control by avoiding problems and ending in a profitable way.
Lively discussion that is poorly controlled can:
- take to much time
- get off the subject
- result in polarization
- become a time of only sharing opinions
Positive conclusions can be reached if you:
- end with a report
- end with a summary
- end with statements, not questions
- end with applications
How to Squash Enthusiasm in Your Group
Make a decree at the outset of each meeting that you will not tolerate any spirited interaction. Be sure to enforce this by ridiculing anyone who dares to express an opinion that does not agree with your own.
Never bring a lively discussion to a conclusion. Always leave things up in the air and jump into the next subject.
Things to do in a leaders' meeting
- Role play ways to transition from counter-productive discussion back to appropriate subjects.
- Develop some guiding questions that will help maintain control and
profitable discussion on each of the following subjects:
- Spiritual gifts
- Future events
- Church programs
- Questionable activities