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No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."
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You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed."
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Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."
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These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."
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Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."
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Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
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Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
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You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."
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You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
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You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
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You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
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No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."
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You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
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You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
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You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
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You're not being sent to the principals office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
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It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."
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