The
following are excerpts from Teen
Love on Friendship.
An
Unmistkable Bond: At the core of my
friendships is an umistakable bond, but it's still
pretty hard to put into words. It is a feeling of
knowing I am "at home," in a figurative
sense. Being around my friends makes me laugh and
smile almost all the time. Even when I am not smiling
I feel at ease and peaceful. I know that my friends
have seen me at my best and at my worst, and that
they still accept and love me. I know that I have
sometimes disappointed my friends and that they have
disappointed me, and that we have forgiven each other
and will always forgive each other. I know that my
friends know the real me, and that they help me know
myself, and for that, I am always grateful (although
sometimes the reflection is not as flattering as I'd
like it to be). I am unquestionably comfortable with
my friends, even in the most uncomfortable situations.
Don't
Hide from Your Problems: We all have
devastating moments in life, when terrible, even
unimaginable things happen that rock our worlds and
affect our lives in negative ways. The question is
not how to avoid problems, but how to deal with them
once they arrive, how to learn from them and how to
become stronger because of the tools you gain from
the experience. Dealing with life on life's terms--head-on--is
not my area of expertise. Most of the time I would
rather pretend like my problems don't exist. I tell
myself it is easier on my heart that way. But deep
down, I know I'm wrong. The only way to begin to heal
from a heartbreaking situation is to accept its
reality and then become willing to work on healing
and changing it.
Let
Friends Change: Friends are there to let you
be yourself and to accept you for who you are now and
whoever you may be tomorrow. It's important to
remember that people change and grow, and as friends
we need to let that happen; we need to lend our
support, not our criticism.
Put
Yourself Out There: Making friends is an
essential element to happiness, especially in young
adult life where insecurities rule. Understanding the
importance of friends is just as important as making
them. Remember that you have something unique and
wonderful to offer a friend, and let this thought
guide you toward the right people. Put yourself out
there, surround yourself with good, safe people, and
it won't be long until you find yourself exactly
where you want to be.
Just
to Be Popular: The biggest mistake you can
make is to make friends for all the wrong reasons.
Don't befriend people because you want to be in the
"in" crowd. Those people will not be
lifelong friends. Befriend people because of their
positive qualities, because you admire them for who
they are and what they do. Look for people who are
smart, funny, kind, loving or whatever you consider
to be important. I can't stress this enough: Be
yourself! While I definately understand the
pressures of the high school social scene, there's
nothing worse than someone who will do anything just
to be "popular."
Look
Beyond: The decisions you make as a young
adult about who you hang out with will determine who
you meet, what you learn, how much you learn and the
quality of your experiences. It is important to
befriend people who are different from you because
they can open doors to new worlds that you wouldn't
have even known exited. If you can look beyond the
"cliques" and be willing to make new
friends, you will get a different perspecitve on life.
You might even learn to see yourself and your "world"
in a new light.
Lead
the Way: Why would you want to follow the
ideas of others when you can lead the way on your own?
Being an individual is what makes a good friend. If
your friends hang out with you only because you look,
talk and act the same as they do, that's not much of
a basis for friendship. The things I cherish about my
friends are their quirks or their oddities--that's
what makes them special. There is something very
comforting in knowing that you don't have to be
anybody but yoursefl with your firends. That kind of
support is what friends should provide for you and
you for them.
Friends
from Different Groups: My friends got me
through the rough times and were there to celebrate
the good times with me.We didn't belong to a specific
group that could be categorized, like "the jocks"
or "the cheereleaders." We came from
different groups, we had different interests and
talents, and we had different opinions about a lot of
things. But the one thing we all agreed upon and the
thing that cemented all the relationshilps was the
idea that friendship is one of life's most precious
gifts.
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