For
me, breaking up with someone is one of the most
difficult things to do. The most difficult part is
being able to say what you mean. If you did say what
was on your mind, it would come out sounding like
this: "You're clingy, way too needy, you don't
let me spend time with my friends, you like me way
more than I like you, I never meant for it to get
this serious." Or worse yet: "I like your
best friend, you walk funny, and your laugh is
annoying!"
To
avoid completely crushing the other person, men and
woman have developed a code language for breaking up.
For example, Cindy wants to break up with Mark:
Cindy
says: "I think you are really sweet, but I don't
see us working out as anything but friends."
Cindy
means: "I'm way too smart for you, Im tired of
your football stories and you have bad breath."
I
think it is important these days to develop your own
unique code or else the other person will know you're
lying. For instance, you can no longer use the old
"It's not you, it's me." This one
doesn't work for a couple of reasons. First, it has
been so overused that it has become a cliché. Second,
of course it's them, that's why your'e
giving them the boot!
In
all seriousness, try to be as honest and gentle as
possible when breaking up with somone. Try to point
to a certain problem in the relationship and use that
to explain the reason it is not working out for you.
If it's true, let them know that you would still like
to maintain a friendship. If it's not true, don't lie;
tell them you don't think it's healthy for you to be
friends. Whenever possible, try your best to respect
the other person's dignity by being sensitive and
honest.
Starting Over
