In
response to the accusation that The Real World
isn't real, here's what I have to say: The Real
World is like Disneyland; the extenuating
circumstances in which you live are not real. However,
the interpersonal relations among cast members are
very real. For example, you might not normally ride
roller coasters, just like most don't live in
mansions on the beach. But if you break up with your
girlfriend on a roller coaster, or fight with a
roommate in the Real World house, those
interactions are real.
For
anybody in the future who's going to do The Real
World, here's a tip: never go on the show with
secrets. It's not worth your time, production's time,
or the viewer's time to hide things; it gets the
better of you. I don't know how Teck did it. He was
just incredibly selective with what he showed of
himself. And Justin, I don't feel like he was very
open either. I don't know why he was like that. He
totally withdrew from wok and the house, and in the
end he left. He says it was for family reasons, and I
sympathize with and believe him. I know other
roommates will question his motives behind his
departure, but I don't. I take him at his word. One
thing I've learned from this process is that it's not
worth my time and energy to analyze why other people
say or do things.
At
this point, everything that happened in Hawaii is
just TV to me. I want to move on and put it behind me,
internalize what I've learned. In my mind, the minute
I left Hawaii, I wanted to stop analyzing what
happened there. I don't get people who are still
worried about what happened, who are still dwelling.
Get over it. I'm past it. I'm glad to be back with my
friends. I'm glad to be back with my family. I'm on
the exact same career path I was on before. I'm the
same guy I was before. I have no delusions of
grandeur. I think I'm still the average-looking guy
who likes his friends and sports and hanging out.
People who drop out of school and think they're going
to attain some fame from this, please. My
motto is, keep your ass in school unless you get some
full-time offer. Like Kaia, she reapplied to Berkeley,
but I'd be very surprised if she ended up back there.
Here's
something: the best time I had in Hawaii was when my
friends Trevor and Mike were there. Here's something
else: I had more fun doing the casting special than
the whole tme in Hawaii. For me, the casting special
was the best. Think about it: three best friends just
BS-ing in front of the camera. What could be better?
I heard someone say it wasn't fair that I was on the
casting special, because I had a better sense of
"the production side." Well, whether it was
fair or not that I was on the casting special, I don't
care. I don't think knowing what the other side was
like affected me at all. I was more open that anybody
who would say that.
I
guess maybe it could be interpreted as unfair that I
had some sense of who might be on the show, but it's
not like I knew exactly who would make it. I could
guess, though. I guessed all the guys right. But i
fuessed all the girls wrong. I was actually shocked
to see Amaya and Kaia. Amaya, during our follow, was
totally uncomfortable. I didn't think she was acting
like herself in front of the cameras. So I was
surprised to see her. And Kaia, I don't know, I just
had a feeling she wasn't a strong candidate. Ruthie
had come into casting late, so I'd never even met her.
There
was a a lot of things to deal with in Hawaii, things
that were new for me--like being removed from my best
friends and having a relationship with a roommate. I've
learned a lot, living through the last four months.
So, for many reasons, it'll be difficult to watch the
show at certain points. I don't want to see Amaya and
me fight. I don't think I'll want to see Ruthie in
the grips of her drinking problem, even though I
think it'll be good for her to see. I won't enjoy
seeing myself cry if that even gets on. I'll never
hear the end of that from my friends.
I
would like to be seen as someone who is very funny
and lighthearted, but also has a serious side. I don't
know if viewers will get to see the sensitive side,
but I hope they do. I also hope they'll see the parts
of me that are messed up, not right, and not
acceptable. Maybe they'll realize they're like that
too and want to change.
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