Helloween "Walls of Jericho", a Speed Metal Tape (1985)

Most of you probably haven't heard of Helloween. I don't care. You are here to learn about the '80s, and goddammit, speed metal was a big part of the '80s. Helloween is a speed metal band from Germany that was heavily influenced by Iron Maiden and UFO, two bands that I have told you to listen to. People from big cities or small towns don't understand what metal is all about. They honestly think that nu-metal actually represents the heavy metal community. "Oh, I'm an outsider. Oh, the pain.  Oh, make sure every other word in the song is 'fuck' so that we get in touch with the kids. Oh, I need to tune my guitar down three steps so that people will like me" say the nu-metal bands. They are not real metal! Real metal is about teaming up with other musicians to beat every other kind of 

Inlay card, sans half of the track listing. Also, 'tis not a CD, but a tape.

music's ass. Real metal is about sorcerers, drugs, fast cars, Satan, death, war, control, politics, and metal. Not this "I had a bad childhood" whiny shit. That's why Helloween is cool. This was their first album. It's raw, fast and inaccessible to non-metal fans, just like a metal album should be.

Here's the track listing from the inlay card. It is missing the first five songs that are actually on the tape and "Judas". First-album hack jobbing at it's finest! But look at the song titles. Walls of Jericho: A Bible reference. Reptile: Snakes are very metal. Phantoms of Death: Self-explanatory. Heavy Metal is the Law: A song about metal. Just by looking at this, you know that the tape is going to rule! And, almost every song is over four minutes. Men at Work fans need not apply. Now is a good time to  show a picture of James Hetfield (who has nothing to do with Helloween but was very metal at one time) eating a Men at Work album. 

Vinyl up your ass!

My copy of Walls of Jericho. Unfortunately, the reels in the original tape casing stopped turning, so I had to pull a casing swap. One of Dad's Jesus tapes' casing made a nice replacement. Hail Satan!

Here is the band's 1985 lineup:

Kai Hansen: Guitar and Vocals. This dude sounds like a snake and can tear it up on the electric guitar. He left Helloween in 1989 to start Gamma Ray, another rokken' metal band.

Michael Weikath: Guitar. Another great guitar player. Super German. One thing that he would enjoy is "Waking up very early, having a ride on a hellbike". Hmmm.

Markus Großkopf: Bass. He has one of those goofy German "B-like" things in his last name. Markus, if you could be an animal, what would you be? "A nosebear."

Ingo Schwichtenberg: Drums. Ingo died in 1995.

Get ready, because this album is fast, heavy and old, just like all great records. After a listen, most pop fans will gullibly believe that Helloween are Satanists. "I mean, God, all of those heavy metal guys are devil worshippers. Metal is stupid!"

Side 1:

Song 1: Starlight (5:17) 

The best way to start your metal career is to have the first song of your first album be about heroin. Guess what Helloween did? They not only made the song about heroin, but began it with the sounds of a guy actually shooting up (.wma, 204k). Brilliant.

You're hangin' around and got nothin' to do   You wanna get out some pills in front of you

You fly on invisible wings   Be careful my friend for too many can kill 

You say that the meaning of life's in those pills   You forget all earthly things 

You swallow your pill you wanna feel free   A trip to a world made of games 

You do it again yet it's never the same   But a junkie's not something to be 

     Chorus - Starlight fallin' in deep through your eyes 

     Starlight shining down for your soul to rise 

Now there's a needle lying in front of you   I'm frightened of those things 

But I know what you'll do   You need it to escape from the night, ha ha 

You ride on through heaven you don't feel no pain   You ride on and ride on again and again 

On the needle that brings you the light   You feel the mind-blowin' stuff

Flow through your veins   You take off and fly to the sun 

But when you get to near your wings will be burnt  You'll die in the flames and you'll fall

Song 2: Murderer (4:26)

Don't you fucking hate it when people are on your property? God knows what they could do. They might step in a hole and sue you. It could be some asshole walking his dog so that it shits on your land instead of his. Maybe it's a bunch of punk kids cutting through your yard, walking from school to to the liquor store. Those sons-of-bitches make a cowpath through your yard. But, most likely it's some sneaky bastard getting ready to steal something. Why aren't trespassers ever hot chicks looking for sex? Once you kill one man, you will have to kill more to escape.

He said get out of here nobody wants you here

You smashed his head and the man died   And there's a murmur loud 

From the appearing crowd   Searching for motives and reasons why 

Now take a look at yourself an you'll see what you are in the eyes of the world 

You didn't want it but now he is dead   And you're on the run from the law

     Chorus - You're a murderer in every town 

     murderer to the whole world 

    murderer you're on the run 

    murderer you'll have to kill... again 

And like an animal which escaped from the cage   They're hunting you over their holy land 

Traps waiting everywhere you fall in deep despair   Darkness and night your only friends 

One day the chase will be over for you   And you'll find your own peace in the end 

Some day you will find a sanctuary   Death !!!! (ed. note: Yeah!)... but so long my friend... 

     Chorus 

Look for a safe place where no one will find you 

And try to escape from the law   Wherever you are there's a killer behind you 

Wanting to get you for sure   To lose the fear that one day he will get out 

Be faster and kill him and run   Now you don't have to fear him no more 

But in his place another headhunter will come ... run away !!!

Song 3: Warrior (4:01)

All hail speed metal! Warrior is a fast one about a classic speed metal theme, war. Still over four minutes. Eat that., Dream fans!

Blackened sky a final flash  Death is in the air

Warriors without a face  Destruction everywhere

Pre-chorus

    Silent falls the hammer  No one hears the cries

    No escaping from this hell  Your prayers won't be heard... so die

Brainless cruel commanders  Sending death and pain

Solider only robots  Fight for their life in vain

Pre-chorus 

     Chorus - Die now die warrior !

     Die now die warrior !

Somewhere in a shelter sit the men Who hold your fate in hand

Playing chess and you're the loser You're a small pawn in their game

Gordon sez: "That part's really cool because Kai sings it all roundabout and stuff"

Somewhere in a shelter sit the men   And they don't realize

A war without survivors is a fight  That's never won... so die !

Barren land desolate waste  Destruction is complete

Survivors creepin' through the ruins   Decaying flesh and meat

Somewhere in a shelter   Some pigs are still alive

And they still play the game  They won't give a damn... so die !

Song 4: Victim Of Fate (6:37)

Now, we're talking. This tune starts out with a lightning bolt and a really fast riff (63k) that is picked in triplets. God, I love the way triplets sound. Every good album needs a lightning bolt in it. Another bonus is Kai's super-snakelike voice during the bridge. Have a listen (84k). Oh yeah, things are starting to get really awesome. Helloween redid this song with their next singer, Michael Kiske, in 1991. Sure, Kiske is a better singer, but Victim of Fate just isn't the same without the snakyness. They took out the lightning bolt, too. Boooooo!

I was born in the rotten part of the town  The biggest trap I had seen

Wherever you'll go and wherever you'll get to  Evil is around

My mother's a bitch my father's a killer  Gettin' paid for a murder

Fightin' and strugglin' the whole day  The only way to survive

Wanted from law but they'll never catch me   I'd much rather die in this bloody war

         Chorus - Fly high touch the sky

         Never know the reason why it ends

         Victim of fate

I had to kill people to save my own life  I don't wanna go to hell

I started at the bottom  I'm heading for the top

I'll never return I'll never go back  To the Goddamn part of the town

Headhunters won't get me 'cause I'm not stupid  But this ain't the life I dreamt of

Wanted from law but they'll never catch me   I'd much rather die in this bloody war

       Chorus

 Gordon sez: "Yeah! Bad-ass snaky part next!"

What now lonely man who's standing  In the shadow of the streets

You're left alone with no helpin' hand beside you  You hide from the daylight living in darkness

You got no friends you can trust nobody  Except for yourself

The only shade that's beside you  Is the shade of Lucifer

Laughing with a satanic smile  And his friend, Death, sharpens his sickle

You don't wanna die do you ? But you will...  You will burn in hell!

     Chorus

Fly high, touch the sky, you will die !

Top Secret Song: Cry For Freedom (6:02)

These days, lots of CDs have hidden tracks on them. Hearing them usually involves skipping to track 69 or 99 or listening for 10 extra minutes at the supposed end of the last song. A big flim-flam! Tool, Godsmack and Danzig have all done this. Now, before you go whipping out your CDs to find the secret songs, keep reading. Back in the old days, the only way to have hidden tracks was to have no mention of the song anywhere. Not only was this song not included in the liner notes (along with five others), but it wasn't even typed on the tape casing. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but since it is right in the middle of the tape it makes you say "What the fuck? This song isn't Walls of Jericho. It's six minutes long!"  But thanks to the internet, I have been able to learn that this is Cry for Freedom. They would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids! 

"Freedom" this cry of all slaves will be heard  And the tyrants will feel the steal of the sword

The chains will be broken by all slaves on the earth  Forever to be free from their load

Time has run out for all you tyrants on earth  Your slaves are heedin' the call

Makin' an end to all this terror and pain  An end to your lies and your law

Takin' away all your gold and your money  'cause dead men don't need it anymore

Much too long we felt the slash of your whips  So now you will feel our swords

Freedom the eternal cry will echo high in the sky  The day will come when all power has been broken

Your blood will flow down to the gates of hell  Satan will wait for your souls

Pray to your god he won't help you he's dead  He won't fool our minds and our soul... anymore

         Chorus - Freedom the cry of all slaves will be heard

         The tyrants will now feel the steel of the sword

         The chains will be broken by all slaves on earth

Forever to be free from their load

          Chorus

 

... Forever to be free from their load

Song 6: Walls Of Jericho (0:53)

This is an orchestrated version of the odd "Happy, Happy, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Happy, Happy, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween! Super shandra!" jingle that is on the radio at the beginning of Starlight. Those zany Germans!

Song 7: Ride The Sky (5:56)

When I first got into Helloween in the early '90s this was my favorite song for at least two years. As a youngster, I didn't know why I liked it so much, I just did. Now I know why! It's because the song is full of open E's! Open E's fucking rule, especially if they are speed-picked, palm muted and coming out of a Marshall stack. That is the scenario here. Plus, it's insanely fast! Still a great song.

Much too long I've been a prisoner here  The hour has come to break out

Shackled and chained almost goin' insane  It's better to live on the run

Set me free, set me free

Send me a sign, wanna leave it all behind  I'll be leaving the hands of doom

Rearrange the master plan, take the future in my hands   To be free and not trapped anymore

        Chorus: Ride the sky, Ride the sky

        Give me wings to fly, Ride the sky

I have to think for myself and then act  In conformity of my own thoughts

No one should tell me what's wrong and what's right  Why don't you leave me alone

Set me free, set me free

      Chorus

Solo:   both / Kai / both / Mike

 

  Chorus

Song 8: Reptile (3:44)

I don't really like this song a whole lot, but it is very snaky. Conspiracy theory: This song may be about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That'd be pretty cool. Scope out the lyrics:

Coming from the sewerage creepin' thru the pipes  Born from modern chemistry (mutagen?) a thing that is alive

Growing in this rotten crap at places no one wipes  Eating rats and stinking shit and all it needs to thrive

The scientists (Krang?) got no way to fight   For they can't find any weak point to get rid of it right (Rocksteady, Bebop and the Foot Clan can't beat the Turtles!)

You live your life and you don't know what's goin' on   You just can't stop a thinking that the officials do you wrong (the cops hate the Turtles)

You're sometimes wondering what the hell bit your baby's arm 

And the nuns at the holy mission can't keep the tramps from harm

Even thieves around dark corners too scared to leave the door

Frustrated businessmen needing a wank can't find themselves a whore (Vernon was really horny all the time)

You won't believe 'till you know that it's real

From the pain in your stomach and the horror you feel

You need a shit so you head off to the loo

You're coming to the bog, now what you're gonna do !

        Chorus: There's the Reptile (Reptile)

Just see his eyes Reptile (Reptile)

Can you see the beast arise

        Chorus

Creeping up on you    Reptile (Reptile)

There's nothing left that you can do

Solo:   Kai / Mike

        Chorus

Hidden till now  Reptile (Reptile)

But now it's there you don't know how

        Chorus

Just watch it grow  Reptile (Reptile)

Side 2:

Song 9: Guardians (4:19)

Orwellian visions of the future. An '80s metal staple.

We're living in our units  And one thing we can do is

Work for a life without a fate  We don't pay any taxes

But the state is the axes  Of our minds without love without hate

We have a higher order  No one needs to be a hoarder

Our society is such a glorious thing  In our centers we can dream of

Anything you never think of  You can't say we are puppets on a string

Our minds are kept so clean  Checked up on a screen

They're holy men, they're saints  Without them we might all fail

 

We don't know war and crime  Things of ancient times

We just see it if we put on video   The blue pass is for my life

And the red one's for my wife  It's the only thing we really need to show

There are still some without rules  But I tell you, they're all fools

The Guardians will find them as we've seen  We got banks where we freeze them

They get new brains screwed in then   And act contrarily to what they have been

 

With new minds made so clean  Checked up on a screen

They will be the saints  Without them we might all fail

       Chorus:   Guardians of our lives

        Protect security

        They turn the key and they step in

        Controlling you and me

        Guardians of our lives

        Take care eternally

Solo:   both / Kai / Mike

        Chorus

Puppets on a string  Puppets on a string

Song 10: Phantoms Of Death (6:34)

I love it when Satan is used as a metaphor for general evil in metal songs. I love it so much that it is the theme of one of my band's songs that is in the works. Every metalhead is in a band. It is the law.

There are phantoms here on earth who take away our lives   They kill your kids and they rape your wives

They rip your flesh tear your heart take you down to hell   They don't give a damn on any kind of life

Phantoms bring evil, destruction and death  Night after night the same old game

They all look so harmless but deep in their hearts   Satan is lurking, and he will break out

Always someone at your back only waiting to attack

         Chorus -  Phantoms of death, Phantoms of death

The empire of deceivers is built upon your fear  You'll have to lose it 'cause the end is near

Warheads, armies stand to strike I know it isn't right  I wanna get out of here I don't wanna die

Infernal destruction of fire you'll burn   Then you'll be helpless but it's not too late

Stand up right now and you'll be the winner   Or Satan will get you, take you forever

Genocide everywhere, where's the savior of this world

        Chorus

Solo:   Mike / Kai / Mike / Kai / Kai / both

Where is he the promised savior the one who'll save the earth  Perhaps he'll come to bury us but then it'll be too late

Who are they who are the phantoms who will end our lives  It's you and me, you and me open up your eyes

Phantoms bring evil, destruction and death  Night after night the same old game

They all look so harmless but deep in their hearts  Satan is lurking, and he will break out

We are all parasites of this world we shall die

Song 11: Metal Invaders (4:10)

Ah, yes, a metal song about metal. That's the way it should be. Reading a book about books would be boring. Hearing a lecture about lectures would be really boring. Watching a porno about pornos would still rock. Metal is great because of this.

Fool moon standing in the streets  I know the time is near

Incarnate power roaring from the sky  Unrelenting forces blasting through the air

Roaring thunder lift your hands and pray

Running through the empty streets they're looking for the fight

Swords gleam in the light of moon the gods prepare to strike

Chorus: Metal invaders, ready to strike

        A warning from hell, be careful tonight

Dark night overwhelming bright light  See the demons fly

Can't trust your senses fear you'll have to die  Super mighty shadows casting amplitudes to ears

Sounds you've never heard that take you high

Time has come for them to rise, invasion is their doom

Riding high on iron horses in the light of moon

 

   Chorus

Song 12: Gorgar (3:55)

Now we're really getting somewhere! This one is about the Gorgar pinball machine, which was the first talking pinball machine ever. It said shit like, "Gorgar Speaks!", "Tilt!" and "Gorgar will eat you!". Arcade rats couldn't get enough Gorgar when it came out in 1979. Gorgar does indeed look like the Prince of Darkness. Helloween is now reaching god-like status.

You're runnin' around in the gamblin' hall  Every night it's the same

You're lookin' for something new to play   To win and have fun is your aim

A pinball speaks to you  His metal voice is knockin' in your head

You can't resist you'll have to play  You're just another victim caught in the trap

        Chorus: Gorgar will eat you, Gorgar - man you'll never win - hey

        Gorgar will eat you, Gorgar - but you keep on playin' - hey

Your blood is boilin' your eyes grow wide -  Advance - too late

Gamblin' fever has taken your mind - this fuckin' machine of hate

You spend all your money but you'll never win   You're always the loser and the robot's voice keeps hammering

     Chorus

Wastin' money for fun every night   Livin' for today no thoughts for tomorrow

Man you are dead don't you realize   Wake up and live before it's too late

Solo:   Mike / Kai

     Chorus

    Tilt!

Song 13: Heavy Metal (Is The Law) (3:51)

Yet another song about metal! Not only is it singing the praises of metal, but it declares it law. If I was the fucking mayor of my town, heavy metal would be the law. Luckily enough, my town has Mayor's Court, which unconstitutionally combines two branches of the government and makes someone with no law background a judge! I would have absolute power! Heavy metal would be the law, and no one could stop me. This song has a golden nugget in it; the part that goes "We need it as a liquid in our veins instead of blood" (44k) is an absolute classic. Go Helloween! 

Fight hard  Live fast

Play loud   Step out of the crowd

Iron  Rulin'

Steel bent   Forever the faith will live on in our hearts

There's nothing else in all the world   That will bring it down

We will play our wildest step to all around    We need it as a liquid in our veins instead of blood!

Power   Burnin'

Brains out    United metallians ready to strike

White heat   Red hot

Mayhem   If you don't feel it you won't understand

There's nothing else in all the world    That will bring it down

We will play our wildest step to all around     We need it as a liquid in our veins instead of blood!

        Chorus: Heavy Metal is the law that keeps us all united free

        A law that shatters earth and hell

        Heavy Metal can't be beaten by any dynasty

        We're all wizards fightin' with our spell

Solo:   Mike / both

Song 14: How Many Tears (7:15)

Hey, all you kids out there in TV land, did you know that the Iron Curtain didn't fall until 1990? That means that the Cold War was still going on. Everybody was still running around in 1985 thinking, "We're all going to be dead by 2000! We need to make songs about nuclear winter, the Apocalypse and crooked politicians." These days, people have been lulled with the idea that there will never be another war. Even though I'm only 22, I remember the days of CCCP and thinking about flaming nuclear death all of the time. You kids today have it easy. This one's about the Cold War.

A lot of things occur each day   We've got to live with on our way

There's so much misery on the screen    With commercials in between

And the Russians won't be so late   Uncle Sam don't wanna wait

No matter if you're black or white    You never ever had a right

And look up to the eternal skies   See warfare even there

What once has been a paradise    Now destruction and despair

In other worlds the children die   Lacking food ill from a fly

Oppressed by troops to tame their land   It's all the same again 

If any man is free on earth   Then tormentors steal his birth

They slam gun butts in his face    And leave his woman choked in mace

So stand up for our human rights   Push back this pest of hate

Raise you voice pass on the light   Unite! it's not too late

        Chorus:  How many tears flow away

        To become a sea of fears

        How many hearts are torn apart

        Till another torment starts

But before the world  Turns into a sun

All cruelty and violence   On earth will be dead and gone

Solo:   both / both / Mike / both

So stand up for our human rights   Push back this pest of hate

Raise you voice pass on the light   Unite! it's not too late

       Chorus

Dong 15: Judas (4:39)

The last song on the tape, Judas, is one of the best. It combines politics and  Bible references into one single song. Metal!

You promise us a bright golden future   You say you will save the world

That there will be no more hunger and pain   But we only see your golden hands

You say you take care of our survival    Sending us missiles instead

But you just betray us, deny us and lie   And you always say you would

        Chorus 1: Fight for freedom, fight for rights

        I see treason in your eyes.

        Chorus 2: Judas - rulin' with an iron hand

        Judas - sittin' in the government

        Judas - I am not a Jesus Christ

        Judas - you will be the one who's crucified

Your worship money and economy    There's nothing that you wouldn't do

If the payment is right you don't care about life   'Cause economy is your truth

You are the one selling terror and pain    In all the parts of the world

You are preparing the final grand slam    But you keep on tellin' you'll

     Chorus 1

     Chorus 2

Solo both/Kai/both

Judas, Judas - are you still human?

Judas, Judas - I can't believe it

Judas, Judas - dealing with evil

Judas, Judas

     Chorus 1

     Chorus 2

Snake-handling churches: still illegal in Kentucky. Kai Hansen handling: legal everywhere.

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