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| Sound | Description | Size |
| mrhat.wav | Mr. Garrison:..."I told you never to mention that name in my classroom again. Mr Hat is a two-timing whore, and now we all learn from Mr Twigg."... | 137k |
|---|---|---|
| sterile.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Don't lie Stan, lying makes you sterile." | 38k |
| prostitute.wav | Mr. Garrison:"And so children, that's how you tell the difference between a prostitute and a policeman." | 48k |
| littlebastards.wav | Mr. Garrison:"The school year's over but summer vacation doesn't begin for you little bastards untill Mr. Hat is back on my desk!" | 53k |
| notgay.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Well I can tell you that I'm 100% not gay." | 59k |
| fminus.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Well boys, it's obvious to me that you diddn't do your work, and that you stayed up all night making up some rediculous lie. You all recieve an F... minus." | 79k |
| askmrh1.wav | Mr. Hat:"Well Kyle, no, you hear me? You go to hell, you go to hell and die!" | 161k |
| holypoop.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Holy poop on a stick!" | 65k |
| ericdo1.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Oh my lord, Kyle, did you just throw du-du at Eric?" | 35k |
| control.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Oh, I can't control them the little f*ckers say whatever the f*ck they want." | 38k |
| btchmdie.wav | Stan:"Man, did she really throw her vioce with two dummies at once?" Mr. Garrison:"The b*tch must die!" | 52k |
| mexicans.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Could we get rid of all the Mexicans?" Mayor:"No Mr. Garrison we cannot get rid of all the Mexicans." Mr. Garrison:"Rats!" | 117k |
| hesgay.wav | Jimbo:"Garrison? That's impossible, he's gay." Mr. Garrison:"I'm not gay!" Cartman:"So you did sleep with my mom?" Mr. Garrison:"Noooo!" Jimbo:"He's gay." Mr. Garrison:"Ok, Ok." | 68k |
| divideitup.wav | Mr. Garrison:"Now children I want each of you to bring in one can of food, and later the mayor of South Park will divide it up amongst Kenny's family and other poor people." | 64k |
| Cartman | Music | Mr. Garrison | Other characters | Kyle | Terrance and Phillip | Bar Brady |
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