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MAN
Man is a cleaver animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Albert Schweitzer
Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.
Holbrook Jackson
Perhaps the only true dignity of man is his capacity to despise himself.
George Santayana
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
Charles
Schultz
MARRIAGE
Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce
All tragedies are finished by death; all comedies are ended by a marriage.
Lord Byron
A friendship recognized by the police.
Robert Louis Stevenson
The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.
Cyril Connolly
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Voltaire
MEN AND WOMEN
The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.
Rebecca West
MONEY
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.
Voltaire
Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.
Gerald Brenan
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check enclosed."
Dorothy Parker
MORALITY
Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 percent of them are wrong.
H.L. Mencken
Go into the street and give one man a lecture on morality and another a shilling, and see which will respect you most.
Samuel Johnson
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
H.G. Wells
MUSIC
Music is the refuge of souls ulcerated by happiness.
E.M. Cioran
Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.
Samuel Johnson
Assassins!
Arturo Toscanini to his orchestra