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Fire'n fury -
Our Views
- Our views on this world & the beyond by Vijay |
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Why do I bother ?.
I've never believed in banging my head on an unrelenting wall. But I
feel its my duty to express my feelings about the world in general.
I believe that the World is all about living happily without
barriers in any form. When we look at the world today, we see so
many barriers - don't do this - don't do that. This is sin, that is
not befitting of you and all that crap. Yes, values are important
but it does not mean ben conservative to the point that, we begin
bride burning or killing people. Ever wonder how mediavalistic this
would be seeming to our cousind over the Atlantic ?. Let's consider
the example of the most "educated", "liberated" state in India -
where even Rickshawvallahs are B.A or M.A - Kerala. Yes, a beautiful
place - wonderful natural beauty - which conceals an MCP attitude
towards women. Ever saw a commercial malayalam movie ?, its all
about disempoverment of strong women. If you are strong & you
are of the wrong gender - then tease, exploit, bring her down. But,
even that has a limit - Not allowing students to go outside the
College gates during recess, reading the letters which come to the
hostel, beating young women because of their so-called affairs !. I
say, come to Mumbai & see the basic attitude of the people - its
trusting, its polite, maybe these things are there here too, but
atleast outwardly, there's respect towards women here. Why do I go
on & on like this ?. The reason is Kiran......our
story.... Half of the problem with the women here is that they are conditioned, and deliberately suppressed. You wouldn't know that there are girls in Kerala, if you walk outside on ceratin days, its all empty & the worst thing is that young people cannot even go out to the movies !. The problem is not with the women, it is with the men. The reason for such attitudes is because outside of the family, these people behave so badly with women that they feel - "What will happen if our own people are on the recieving end ?". That's the reason for all that supressment. I feel immensely disgusted about this & I would like to show a letter I wrote to my girl friend about this very subject...... Dear Kiran, It has certainly been a long time since we have been in touch. This letter is just to talk to you. I know that things have changed very much between us & that maybe we can never be the same again. All I would like to tell u is that as far as I am concerned, nothing has changed. U are still the same person to me you were 701 days back, when u had last talked to me. When we grow older, we become wiser, hence I've decided to talk to u about some things. First of all I would like to inform u that I'm going most probably to the U.S within a few months from now, (for a considerable period of time - say 1 or 2 yrs) & my coming back solely depends on u and u alone….Many of the things I've done till now had been under the impression that u would not return to me at some point of time. But, I regained my hope recently…..Hum itne jaldi kyun har mane ?…..I speak for us, not for myself. All that we've suffered for the past years will go to waste if u give up on US now. Imagine, if this works out, someday, we'll at least have an inspiring story to tell our children about how we didn't lose faith even against all these odds. I know the reasons why they tell u that I'm the one for u. But, I'm telling u, see for yourself, read u'r bible & tell me where it's written that what we are doing is wrong. Remember, the darkest hour can be fought of if you have the courage & the willingness to do so. YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANY WRONG !. I don't feel that I've done anything wrong & I've already told u'r Dad that.I know that u must be believing now that I'm the messenger of the devil or something & u should hate & fear me. Don't listen to him, don't talk to him & all that crap….Let me tell u something, the devil doesn't go around telling people to love each other - he incites turmoil, . All I said was love & live in peace. U come to my place here, u'll understand that TVM is a jungle….I'm not saying hate people, I'm not saying that leave u'r parents, all I say is love everyone….I know that maybe u'll reject this letter, the point is see the cage they've made around u & remember after they marry you off, you are alone - noone will be there to save you . Remember this - read the book I've mentioned below, where a girl has made the same decision that you've made…. We've suffered so much - all will be in vain if u go away…Remember, love happens only once in life…you might regret this decision for the rest of your life…. As I know it, my life is over - I'm just a walking corpse now. It ended the day you said goodbye, I'm just hoping, praying & waiting for the end. Because I know, in the world beyond there are no barriers. You tell me na , Daddy, mummy , brother & all these relations ….They hold no good in the other world. Everyone is the same in front of god. If that's true, then only love matters - it does not matter who loves whom as long as hate is not involved. Your father does what he thinks is right/ what his heart tells him. You also should have the freedom to do the same…Remember, he was also a young man once. Everyone is the same & in this huge world, it does not matter anymore who loves whom. Each soul is equal, your father's soul is not in any way better or wiser than yours, that's what you should understand. He dominates, I know - why should he dominate you ?, why must your father be the one to decide whom you should marry ? - I consider it more like they're selling you off…. If they had understood you or loved you at least a fraction of how much you loved them, atleast they would have tried to listen to you. If they were that great, that day they would have called us both & then tried the brain washing - then I would have shown them. No, they did it hidden and after they made sure that you are overwhelmed, weak & completely in their hands, they confronted me, and that too after a long time. As you had already given up hope, I didn't admit anything because I don't believe in banging my head alone against a wall - they could always say that you had rejected me. Remember, they told you to forget me after you admitted that you loved me - So you still love me - even after we die, our love will remain. Tell me, if we meet in heaven, and decide to marry, who will stop us ?, are there any relations there ?. I know that you also suffer like me - sleepless nights, day-dreams about us - the tears when you wake up suddenly at night, I know you, far more than you know yourself. I know why you did the things you did. I understand, but I believe that inside you there is a strong being who wants to break free of all the chains & wants to be free & wants to be with me……That's why I care, I want to bring you out, I want you & me to become US & to live happily ever after…. See yourself today - the haunted eyes, the bruised look, the stooped body language, the programmed responses, the stilted speech, the deadened self - do you like what you see ?. They are not villains, they are worse than that. They are brutes, they are self satisfied, self absorbed SOB's. Especially your brother - an insensitive braggart who lives solely for himself while marginalising & isolating his sister of 20 years so completely, he barely acknowledges her right to an independent existence. Look at your fate yourself, look at your face, are you happy today ?. I hope that after marriage to somebody else, you don't even after a quarter-of-a-century of supposed togetherness & intimacy, remain complete & absolute strangers. Why do have to have your "cow like" reactions to your boorish family's conduct ?, why do you have to put up with it for so many years ?. Even if its years later, if you want me back, just pick up that phone & call me up, I'll fly to you, no matter where you are or how you are or who are with you, I love you & if that means that I should love the people whom you love, I'm willing to do that too…………………………………. I'll love u today & forever, I'll never forget u, Love, Vijay Well, well, after reading this letter fully, you must be beginning to have an impression of the condition of women in Kerala. Our women, don't have the rights enjoyed by english women 200 years back - (read Jane Austen, if you are in doubt). Our women are unhappy & sad & feel brutalised & unable to respond. Beatings, harsh words, fear is what keeps them under. As long as these continue, we will still remain the backward country we should admit we are.... |