I should not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
It's not a good idea to roll my toys behind the fridge.
To keep my humans happy: I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cat's food, before or after she eats it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
I will not lick Mom's face after eating animal poop.
I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
I will not wake Mom up by sticking my cold, wet nose on her bottom end.
I will not chew Dad's toothbrush and not tell him.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do have a doorbell, but I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
There have been
visits to this site since 7/21/99.
