"Help! I need somebody...
Help! Not just anybody....
Help! You know I need someone....
He-e-elp!"

You know that song by the Beatles? Sure you do. Do you also know that they made a movie by the same name?

Well, you do now.

Basically, the plot of the movie "Help!" is that... Ringo is being chased after by this strange cult. They're desperately trying to paint him red, and then sacrifice him to some deity or other. Needless to say, neither he nor any of the other Beatles are particularly pleased with this idea.

The baddies are led by this short guy with a weird accent. And in one oh-so-memorable scene, he's making plans, yelling encouragement at his troops... and then, out of nowhere, he whips out an umbrella, and shoots flames out of the tip!

Watching that scene on our teeny little 13'-screen TV/VCR, I sat there wide-eyed with awe. From that moment on, I knew my life would not be complete... until I, too, possessed a flame-throwing umbrella.

(SO THERE, all you people who thought it was a reference to the Penguin! Or even to Turner D. Century!)

And one day, I was thinking... mallets are really overused in today's anime fanfiction. Why not be different? Better yet, why not be an example, and lead others in this noble endeavour? Why not indeed! Vive la différence! Long live the Flame-Throwing Umbrella!

So that's my story. And I'm sticking to it.

"Help!", both the song and the movie, are © The Beatles. The Penguin is © whoever created Batman, and Turner D. Century is © whoever created Spiderman. I, Megan Jones, am © myself... at least, no one's ever told me otherwise....