 (Excerpts from an
article written by Vikky Bondoc-Cabrera and published in ISYU Opinion Paper
11 March 1997, Philippines)
Observe the guests in any of the ballroom places in the country. You'll note that at least
80% of them are women. The males you see around are more likely roving or booked DIs; a
few others are probably the husbands, boyfriends or associates of the female guests.
Yes, more women than
men dance in the Philippines!
The main reason I suppose is
in the social values of Filipinos. Many women are still brought up in the thinking that
their main purpose for living is to marry, serve and entertain a husband. So as early as
we can remember, we were trained to serve hot chocolate without spilling a drop,
flawlessly render Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on the antique grand piano, and
smilingly chat with family guests. All in the name of being the well-bred young lady and
gracious hostess.
On the other hand, 'real'
men have this funny notion that if he dances, he's probably bakla (gay). While
unfair and definitely biased, this thinking is bolstered further by the fact that most
male dancers, whether in jazz, ballet, or ballroom, are actually gay. Count on the macho
Filipino male to shy away from any activities which would question his gender.
With some other men, there's
also that fear of failing or not being at par with the better male dancers. One of my male
dance friends noted that his male officemates seemed to want to be good dancers but
weren't willing to go through the embarrassment' of making mistakes.
Dancing is practically
scratched off from many a Filipino male's list of fun and enjoyable activities. Relaxing
activities for them would mean 'playing gulp' and listening to jazz music with buddies at
the local bar; a work-out would be a doubles game on the tennis court or an hour at the
gym. However with the continued popularity of ballroom dancing, plus the prestige it has
earned from the planned inclusion of ballroom dancing in the Sydney Olympics in Year 2000,
we can expect more Filipino men joining the ranks of social dancers, enjoying a great
exercise in a decent social gathering.
I personally love to see a
happily married couple enjoying a full night of dancing. No matter what their level of
dance training is, one thing is always thrillingly obvious: their connection and the
spontaneous expression of their dancing.
Unfortunately, not all of us
have husbands or boyfriends who have realized the fun and relaxing enjoyment of social
dancing. Yet many of them don't relish the thought of us going dancing with any of the
younger good-looking DIs in the ballroom halls. A jealous husband would occasionally
accompany his wife, to make sure her handsome DI keeps a decent distance from her. Are
they insecure or what?
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Some of your comments
"Husbands should learn to dance with us, so
we don't have to pay DIs anymore."
"My husband and I trained for our Tango
wedding dance. Our friends were wowed. And now we're hooked on dancing."
"I learned the Tango and Boogie from my
parents. Oftentimes, when I was young, we'd go out for some dancing with our friends. How
I wish we could share similar activities with my husband and children."
"The family that dances together stays
together."
"Why is somebody else's husband always a
better dancer?"
"I guess I'm one of the luckier ones whose
husband recognizes my passion for dance, and was willing to share it with me." |
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