I'm gonna do something silly. I'll pick out a few Tori pics I like and talk about them and what I think about when I see them, and maybe something intersting will sneak into that..we'll see..hey, I WARNED YOU, I'm distracted today.
![[Tori Amos]](/SoHo/Lofts/7933/156.gif)
Aaah...this one makes me think of
Mexico...not that I've ever been to Mexico, but it feels like it.
See the hair? I'm convinced that if I could just get my hair that
shade my whole life would suddenly be purrfect. Odd, isn't it?Well
who said I had to make sense..I just know that when I dye my hair red I feel so alive
and special, and yes dammit, I feel terribly sexy.
I just wish I could mix up this orange kind of red on my own...it feels me. or maybe it feels Tori, and you know I admire her soo much, not to mention I think she's one of the prettiest humans around, and it feels like I'm a bit like her when my hair is red and wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild. WYLD. WHOOHOO that felt 80's to say...Sometimes it's important for me to feel that I'm here, and how could I not be here when I have Ultra Red hair and black nails and a mouth as if it was on a painting?
(There used to be an image here, but it's long gone. It showed Tori Amos sort of leaning into the picture, as if to see through it.)
This is how I feel about life and other people...I just have this almost obscene want to peek into people's life and how they react to things..I love watchign the reactions between other people, and I don't feel like I'm in the situation always, I can just study their body language and what they say and I draw these conclusions in my head, which means sometime sI burst out laughign for no good reason at all...I have to basicaly mentally gag myself so I don't tell them "do u knwo that you are incredibly attracted to that guy?" etc...yeah...I know..I think I'm real good, and yet I don't ahve a clue what I am all about myself...other people read me like a book they say...hmm..maybe I'm a pop up book?
Today was a GREAT GREAT DAY!(Thank you jessica...who know knows a lot fo insulting things in swedish..)
I'm not having nightmares anymore btw..well, at least haven't for almost a week now.. instead I dream long complicated strange dreams, but I can't seem to remember any details when I wake up, I only know that this strange man keeps showing up, and afaik I've never seen him irl, but everytime I wake up I have this warm fuzzy feeling of being in love. Strange, isn't it? As long as it's not making me feel bad then..heh..I don't mind.
'Take a trip on a rocketship, baby...the Sea is the sky...I know the guy that runs this place and he's out'a sight..Flying Dutchman..are you still out there?'
I GOT INTO NCCU!WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO!! This mean that I'm almost there...I have a TON of paper work though, and about one week to do it all in so I'm not sure at all what will happen..This is when it comes in handy to know someone at the INS (aka Bren ;)
Jessica was talking in her diary today about how it's the end off summer..that never struck me before, but I guess it is...I'm not gonna steal her post about how the summer was, but I will say this: I'm very glad I got to know Jessica during it. It's almost scary how much alike we are, but a good sort of scary...oh geez. here I go again with my 'I'm just like this or that person'..Well doh..hehe...actually I was told earlier today at resort by a friend that I'm just like Björk..gee, I had no idea 8)
I'm sorry, I had all these good things I wanted to say, and instead I'm just sitting here with a woozy head eating german paprika potato chips drinking water..oh..hehe...Jessica just sang:
Kafka sings o/~ hey baby trust me, you just digust me o/~
Kafka sings o/~ i don't know too many females who make a habit of biting tehir
toenails o/~
Kafka sings o/~ i'm sure we'd be happy together if only 1 little thing weren't
true o/~
Kafka sings o/~ oh baby i i i i i am so sick of you o/~
Kafka sings o/~ then you use my razor to shave your back hair... o/~
Kafka sings o/~ you don't have an ounce of class o/~
Kafka sings o/~ you're just one big pain in the neck o/~
Kafka sings o/~ how much more can i take now? gimme a break now...you eve
snore when you're wide awake now o/~
Kafka sings o/~ and when you look at me that special way ... it's hard for me
to keep my lunch down o/~
Kafka sings o/~ until you came along i never dated anyone this low on the food
chain o/~
Kafka sings o/~ until you came along i never dated anyone this low on the food
chain o/~
Kafka sings o/~ you've got unuman body odor o/~
Kafka sings o/~ you've got the hair of a boxing promoter o/~
Kafka sings o/~ yeah your teeth are all your yellow o/~
Kafka sings o/~ your butt's made of jello o/~
Kafka sings o/~ you wake up in a puddle, drooling on a puddle o/~
Kafka sings o/~ i hate the way you crack your knuckles o/~
Kafka sings o/~ i hate your whiny loser girlfriends too o/~
Kafka sings o/~ well won't you give my best regards to satan? i'm so sick of
you o/~
How fitting ;) Hehehe, you'd be surprised to know that more than one of those lines fit me...er...maybe I should keep quiet about that..I'll go dream now, and try not to be disturbed about Charlie Sheen movies.
'You just took it to the limit..and here I stand - with this sword in my hand'
I think part of why Igot so angry was because I watched this old Jerry Springer show rerun last night, and they featured teenagers who are racist...and each one of those ignorants made me so furious...ARGH..I mean, how can people BE THAT STUPID _now_? Saying idiot things..the highlight was probably when this girl said that Jerry Springer wasn't human coz he's jewish..well then, if being her is being human then count me out too. "Jesus was an arier" HAHAHAHA!!!! And the way they'd twist christianity around to suit them..this is precisely why I just don't buy into religion dammit, it would get so tiresome to have to watch one's own little interpretation and point ones finger at anyone who believes differently.. Okay girl...he was asian? Coz he sure as hell wasn't of german origin if that's what you think.
It just disturbs me I guess. This is where my tattoo becomes relevant you see, I can get soooo very angry, but I always stop myself...'I believe in peace BITCH'..I like that so much because of the way it's put together I guess...I believe in peace and non violence, but I'm not a wuss. heh. :)
Aren't my entries so much cheesier coloured nowadays?=) It's coz I just put font="#(random 6 digits/letters...it's always comes out looking something ;)
I feel a bit sick. Yesterday I ate that bag of potato chips and chocolate, and had milk and dr pepper all day long..no real food at all. That may be why I still feel queesy. Great, now I can go home and be nervous about going. Heh.
I'm very frustrated. I need to do something, dunno what. I'll go do something constructive..like re-paint my nails, I have the prettiest black nailpolish.. It's funny..I paint them, and it feels like I have a piece of the sky on my nails. Quite silly. Now if it could just stop chipping..
Blah, sorry, I was ready to write this long entry today, but the stories just wouldn't come, and that is why you have to hear me say stupid stuff about nailpolish.
I dunno. I'm just..I mean, it'd be NICE to have a big house I could screw
up, but I wouldn't waste my money on it. Unless I got obscenely rich, in
which case I'd see to that I'd have a room just like the Jungle room on
Graceland, and a room filled with those plastic balls one can see in
malls and stuff where kids get to throw themselves around in it. I LOVE
those ball pools. I can be seen looking at the kids playing in them if I'm
around one, pondering what would happen if I took of my shoes and dove in.
So far I never did dare to. Boc-boc-boc..
I sometimes phantasize about what rooms I'd want to have if I could
though, and strangely enough the imaginations haven't changed much at all
over the years.
Okay, I admit, I lost track of this thought...I have a lot of rooms in my head though, but I think I've lost the keys to some of them.
My grandma is so upset about me leaving =( I found her crying last night, and mom told me she's been doing that lots lately..that broke my heart *sigh* She's feeling extremely lonely, and I'm basicaly what she has left, me and my mom, and now me leaving...
It's funny me and my grandma..we spent all these years fighting with each other, and now I don't even want to imagine leaving her. All of a sudden she's not...Stubborn Iron GrandMa anymore, she's Lonely 80'yr Old SortofSenile Pessimistic Grandma..and I don't like it one bit =( Dammit, I remember when I was a kid and screwed something up, and she'd come chasing after me with one of those carpet whip things that you beat dust out of carpets with and try to whoop me , and we'd be circeling the dining room table until I crawled under the table and she'd give up. She never did manage to even touch me with it, and I never did stop doing bad things, but it's a great image to have. Hehe.
Right now, it doesn't look like I'm going to the US/school until spring semester. =( There's too much paperwork to finish, and I don't see that happening in 1-3 days. ARGH. I guess it's official then. I'm not going =( (heh, why the frown after ranting how sad it would be to leave) For the past two weeks I've thought of nothing but leaving. And I'm giving ti till Thursday. I just wished I wasn't such a clumpsy putz when it comes to organizing things >=(
I'ts blahy that I won't be there for Halloween though. Bah. Do you guys realise I've been wanting to dress up for Halloween since I was just a kid? It's so unfair..I've only gotten to dress up twice in my life..officialy. Once was at this mascerade. I dressed up as a..*drumroll* Princess. I never really dreamt of being a princess, it was because me and granda had gone to the weekly fleamarket, and I'd fallen in love with this long white dress that was just SOOO pretty.. and I nagged and nagged for grandma to buy me it, and she refused as much as she could, saying 'It's a GROWNUP DRESS' ..but...hehe..eventualy she gave in, and I got the dress...it costed $2.
Hehe, it probably showed too, not that I cared =) Later my grandma made me the prettiest princess crown made out of the gold paper containing coffee powder and a toilet paper roll. I felt sooo purtty. I saw the pictures some weeks ago though and..well..what can I say..at least I was a better princess than the OTHER girl that dressed up as a princess and was wearing her mothers blue curtains and a multi crayon coloured paper crown....:)
The second time I got to do the dress up thing officialy was in..hmm..let me think...5'th grade. See the (in my opinion) cutest guy in my class invited everyone over for a mascerade at his house, and I decide to go, knowing I probably wouldn't have any fun, but hey, I'd get to DRESS UP. I dressed up as a gypsy woman. This was a perfect excuse for me to get to wear my mothers turquose denim long skirt out in public. Since I'm..well..pale to say the least I started by rubbing bronzing creme on my face and neck and arms..
I looked like I'd rolled around in brown shoe polish eventually. I wore the tuquose skirt, and a bright pink silk shirt to that...every goldish/silverish necklace I could find, and one of my grandma's knitted black veils. Ouch.
Needless to say i got to the party, had zero fun and ended up sitting in the cute guys big sisters room, reading some magazines, waiting for it all to end. Hmm, that sounds like me attending a party NOW actually..hehe..
Aaah..I spent the day mutilating Dylans homepage....TaDa..and THEN I created the Random Label A day Generator, for your utter pleasure..it's. Hmm. Well you go there, and the word that pops up is your label for the day. Or you could just waste your time even more by simply reloading the page over and pver again to see what word pops up..I created it, and I STILL get stuck doing that.
BTW, I've been asked to be an official inter net nerd at this public thing on sep. 6..coz the guy organizing it all heard that I was quite an online addict so he asked me..isn't that funny? I am SO the official spod around here...I once showed the internet during an open house day here at the library, made two similar appearances at last years and this years IT convention. Not to mention the two sepearate stories about me in one of the local papers. I'm such a celeb :P~
Stupoid go eat now. *smile* (SEE? I'm smiling..not devistated..good, eh?)
Anyways, so this boy asked if he could have some of the can I was drinking from and I said sure..and he did..and now I can't finish it, I get this disgusting feeling and EEEeeEeeEEeW. It's the same if someone is making spaghetti sauce or something, or if I _myself_ is making a sauce or just some kind of food, I CAN'T bring myself to taste the food while I'm making it, not until it's done and on the plate. Except for cookie dough. And kissing. Neither of those two things bother me ;) I wonder why that is...
*laugh* My Suck-O-Meter is such a SUCCESS..unfortunately ;) Coz now I'm stuck correcting and sending back suckogram results..heheh..I guess I brought it on myself, didn't I?
It's SO funny though, coz, well I'm a very firm believer in that orange juice is yellow, right? I noticed that the american's all claim it's orange in my suck-o-meter test, but the Scandinavians say it's yellow, like me. This leads me to believe that either:
1)The rest of the world gets orange orange juice while Scandinavia gets yellow.
2)The rest of the world has poor colour sense, while Scandinavians are superior in that area.
As for 1)..I've had orange juice in Sweden, Italy, Germany, Denmark and Israel. IT'S YELLOW, you DORKS!! Therefore...2) my guess is non scandinavians are fooled by the fact that it's called ORANGE juice. hehehe. I rest my case.
I'm gonna embarrass myself again, by posting my 'new' whorecode, it's the 2.0 version:
WhLt1 LGoJS hMu(Br+)w-- b66/82 B7E3>No} a20 sF5M3 K7+ k5BsbehImOprtx QbCEefLMRt v76s oT X6!!6 w7L r6I-S E* p{641}f7v7(1)#g6s8C D35! Hap++p2seBle4
I also noticed that a lot of scandinavians choose to, like me, have bluecheese with their spaghetti, instead of the sauce...I LIKE that...I'm a big fan of bluecheese, and I suspect that Floyd, that british cook whose shows I always watch, is right when he assumes the rest of the world can't stand bluecheese coz it's SMELLY and doesn't fit in their deodoranted lives.
ohMY..I just had a revelation..I AM BLUECHEESE!!
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