Mind games. 042706
So I'm thinking. What's the rush? I wanna go and hang out or whatever. Then get a temp job. Real work can wait til later? ..There I go with the question mark again.
Sometimes it's fun to talk in circles, rather than say everything straight out. When someone does it to you, it makes you really think and concentrate on what the person's real point is. When you do it to someone, you actually end up understanding the other person along the way. Like you think, what's the best way to approach this topic when talking with this person? Which method would they react positively or negatively to? How can I persuade them to do this or think that? A lotta times, you can't just say things out straight.
It may seem like a mind game, but in the process of playing I think you actually communicate better. Cuz you concentrate a lot on how the other person reacts and how to phrase your words to get the best impact. Like you try to get inside their head and think what they're thinking, so you end up understanding them along the way. Now, isn't that good conversation? :P
Gaw boon. 042506
Hey. So my first interview went alrite. But I have this gut feeling that it's not the right company for me, so I don't think I'll go for it. I guess I'm still in that hella idealistic mindset that I want my job to be like perfect for me. The director guy was interviewing me, he was alrite...but I guess I didn't really like how he was trying to scare me or something. And how his view on America was. Like saying how in Singapore, you gotta be fast paced and hella productive, work overtime without extra pay if you're at manager-level and above. And implying like, this is not the States where you can take your sweet time. Like EH? Whether you're in Singapore or in Frisco, you can choose to have a fast paced or slow paced life.
He asked me what San Francisco was like. Like what kinda jobs do people do there. He was like, do they all work in boutiques and restaurants or whatever? I was like, sure there are boutiques and restaurants, but there are also office buildings and fast paced jobs there. It's San Francisco dude. He was like, what kinda businesses are in the office buildings? I was like, um..everything? Like anything you want, they'll probly have it there.
I dunno..just some gut feeling that I don't really like. Plus the company's like located in a house instead of like an office building. I'm looking for like a big ass company. I don't wanna work at a small company when I first start out. I know there are advantages and disadvantages to both, but it's my life eh.
Surprising turn of events this past weekend.. I know I've been vehemently saying that I'm not looking for any serious relationship now cuz I'm still young and I wanna be free. But..this sorta just crept up and surprised me. And..I think it could work out. Hei gu!
Eek. 042106
Got a job interview at a packaging and printing company tomorrow at noon. It's all the way in Serangoon. Think I'm just gonna chill and take a one hour bus ride tmrw instead of MRT and bus, which is around the same if you consider the waiting time I'd think.
I'm nervous dude. Went out and bought some proper interview clothing just now. Think it'll be alrite. Everything falls into place at some time.
Still waiting for replies from other companies too, but I just like..hella wanna start work?
So...I dunno. See how it goes for a couple months..maybe can still go traveling in November.
Think I gotta learn to jump into things sometimes. Cuz I kinda find that I'm scared of making the wrong decision, or making a crappy decision, or wasting my time. I act like I'm an oldass and like time is one of the luxuries I don't have, when in reality I have all the time in the world? Well at least til December or so I suppose.
Sigh. Deep breath. Catch ya later.
Mundane. 041306
I'm all out in job-searching mode now. Finished with school, cept for one exam at the end of the month which I'm not really trippin about. Since most companies aren't looking specifically for a degree in applied mathematics and I don't have any real working experience, I've been applying for jobs that require like a degree in any subject and that give you training when you start.
I kinda got a general plan in mind I guess. Right now trying to make use of my degree and apply to the bigger companies, like multi-national ones. Cuz a lotta them recruit fresh grads and have specific training programs. Figure that if I'm ever gonna work in a "regular" job, this might as well be the time in my life to do it. Might as well pick up some experience. Still applying and still waiting for responses.
If it turns out that none of them want me, then I'll probly start applying for jobs in graphic design. Cuz I think I can come up with a portfolio of my past work and maybe someone'll let me in based on experience since I have no formal credentials. But still haven't made up my mind whether to pursue this field.
Breadtalk's got openings for trainee bakers. I was hella excited when I saw that. Like cuz I thought you had to have a certificate in baking already, but nah they'll train you from scratch. But we'll see how the bigger companies respond first.
I think I'm growing up..realizing that there are some things that I should do just because I should, not just cuz of whether it's fun or not. Like reading newspapers..knowing more about current affairs, broadening my general knowledge base. Picking up the Saturday edition of Straits Times is fun cuz it's a thick ass edition yet it still only costs 80 cents.
Also think I should start trying to speak Mandarin more. Like it's something that I've been avoiding for a long time cuz I don't really like the way it sounds. Not really that..but I guess it would mean that I'm growing up if I start learning it. Cuz I should be learning it cuz like everyone here speaks it and I've been here for almost four years..and cuz China's becoming a dominant force in the world and it'll be an advantage to know Mandarin. And all those should excuses.
Do I sound hella sian? My life's at like a fork in the road now and there are a lotta possibilities. A lotta potential. Yet I'm not feeling that happy. Maybe it's just today tho. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Checked out some books from the library, so I'mma get to reading those.
More clayness. 032306
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Went to JB to eat the other night. First time doing that. Ppl say it's dangerous there, but it's like okie I think. Also been doing some cooking with kaiy yik and dai gwai. It's nice to eat a home-cooked meal with other ppl. Us three are on our own in Singapore so it's kinda like we created our own little substitute family. :P I'm happy. Funny how some things work out. How some ppl click.
Lately been kinda fed up with myself and my inability to concentrate. Like, after I turned in the first draft of my project, the rest should've all come pretty quickly. But I've been slackin and draggin so much that it ain't even cool. So I'm finally gonna sit down and get it all done after I finish writing this. Cuz I should be happy now, but my slackness is always in the back of my mind draggin me down. So yea.
I've been thinking about growing up n stuff again. Dressing differently..acting differently.. well, mostly just the dressing differently. There are times I look at other young women and wanna dress more like them, like all prettily or grown up-ish cuz it's like..fun. Like another phase of life, the young, sophisticated, live-it-up 20's. Shopping spree time. :P
Also been thinking bout how I think I'd be happier if I went to a trade school or something. Or probly something like ITE, where they teach technical skills n whatever? But then I thought, I wouldn't be here in Singapore if all I wanted was to go to a technical/trade school. So I kinda thought about it and realized that I learned a lotta stuff by coming here, stuff I wouldn't have picked up if I was back in the States all the while. So all in all, I think the decision to come here for college was worthwhile, not really cuz of the formal education but for the other stuff. Like picking up languages, customs, culture. Travel, friends, a different lifestyle. Maturity, self-realizations. Yup.
Arts n craft corner. 031706
Picked up some magic modelling clay called Aladin Magicpol from Art Friend the other day just for fun. Expensive-ish so I only got white colored clay, then painted it with my airbrush paint to make the two pics above. Made them for ah Lun's birthday present. Hehehe. They're different kinds of "buns". My favorite is the middle one in the second picture, affectionately known as "vomit bun". MWAHAHAHA. Second favorite is the one on the right in the second picture, that's "curry bun". Fun fun.
Of course can't forget the packaging when making a birthday present. That's like half of the present right there. Made a box out of a lid from an old shoe box and the inside partitions from some foam thingy. I seriously like packaging. I have hella shiet lying around my house cuz I think they have potential for being used in future packaging endeavors.
Dai gwai came up with the idea to decorate the eggs. We wanted to put rice in 'em and make 'em sorta rock back and forth but it didn't really work in the end. But haven't done stuff like that in a long time. :P Like back in preschool those kind of art projects.
What else. Kind of in limbo. Should be getting my project all done, but been slacking for the last loose ends. Still dunno what job to get. BBQ fish has given up for more than a week already, so I'm good. Mwahaha. Gonna get my hair cut soon. Dunno what to cut it like..maybe will put my trust in the haircutter. *gasp* Been playing with these online hair makeover sites..Quite fun. :P www.getmakeovers.com and www.myvirtualsalon.com. Exercise routine down the drain.
A bet. 030606
If by end of June (that'll mark six months), BBQ fish (guy in entry below) still calls me, I'll have to treat my friend to McDonald's. Otherwise, I get treat. We were talking about misguided ppl who seriously dunno when to give up. Haven't laughed that much in a long time. :P
Questions. 030506
Hum.
Kie say a guy and a girl (strangers) start to become friends (barely). Then the guy hits on girl. Then girl says she's really not interested, she only wants to be friends. Then guy says ok, yet still hits on girl. So girl tells guy you're hella frustrating and starts ignoring guy. When guy calls girl, she never picks up. Never replies. Never looks at or smiles at guy when they see each other. After about a month or more of this, shouldn't guy take a HINT and give up??
Second situation. Yanno those girls that dress like guys? I mean, I dress sorta guyish yea, but yanno those girls that really try to look like guys, with the short hair and guy clothes? Kie, say there's one such girl, let's call her Manly. If you're a girl, and Manly starts trying to talk to you and calls you leng luy (pretty girl), would you feel it's strange? I think if Manly's an auntie, it's alrite. But if Manly is a young person like early 20's maybe? It's like.. ehh. Ya dig?
So first draft of project has been turned in. All downhill from here. :) Looking for part-time or full-time job now. But haven't decided what I want to do..cuz now I can basically start a real career already (since I'm only taking one class this sem) or I can just find some part-time work in whatever (cuz I might not be free to work in July/August) or I can try to find an apprenticeship in something cool like woodcarving, stonecarving, baking, or something.
So far, I know I don't wanna do just whatever part-time work. I wanna be able to learn a skill or something in the job. Apprenticeship sounds cool, but think that involves a long-term commitment or else they won't wanna apprentice you. So it's either (1)real job or (2)apprenticeship in something cool. See what comes my way.
Dai gwai is coming back! :D
Oh yea, I'm switching to using Yahoo mail. Dunno what is up with my connection but I can't log into Hotmail anymore. This is the second time this has happened. So my main mail will be Yahoo. jojo6292@yahoo.com
Like wtf. 022306
Yanno when two ppl (that've seen you before) are staring at you (very obviously), and one of em glances over at the other one then goes back to staring at you? Depending on the situation, that kind of glance-over sorta implies that those two ppl have talked about you before yanno? I expect that kinda childish shiet to happen at school or what, but not in my fkn coffeeshop.
It's kinda hard to explain without being there to see the kind of stare I guess. But you can tell when it's that okie kind of stare where ppl just think you're interesting looking or something and when it's that kind of stare that's like deer-in-the-headlights or I-just-saw-a-fkn-alien. Kna mean?
Faiy chai. 022006
You ever have one of those mornings where you sleep in hella late? But you're not trying to be lazy ass, you're really just hella tired even tho you've slept for like a good twelve hours? I had that kind of feeling this morning, so now I'm feeling like a bum and not in that great a mood.
Jogging 3-4 times a week. Kungfu 2 times. Various toning exercises. That's the plan. But...not today. Well, maybe later. I'm still in the just-woke-up funky shiet mood.
The tattoo pic is from the Korean movie "My Wife is a Gangster". Stylo eh? Cept it sorta doesn't look nice on her cuz her body's like hella soft looking and the tattoo is overpowering. I still have yet to design my tattoo. Next month hopefully. After first draft of project is done. Hopefully.
How much do you think it'd be to design your own shirt? Like not just the design but the actual shape of the shirt too. I've been watching this TV show called Project Runway so I'm kinda like inspired or whatever. :P Cuz they can go and design and make their clothes from scratch. Like just give em the cloth and they sew the clothes out. Thought it'd be cool for NWP to have a shirt that's not just a t-shirt or a polo tee.
Culture. 021306
I ran barefoot today (actually with socks on at first, then later took them off) and DUDE, I ended up with four blisters on the bottom of each foot. It's like painful to walk. Stupid me. Shouldn't have jogged for so long a distance barefoot I guess. Have to slowly build up tolerance. So far the jogging routine (cuz I've gained weight yanno?) is going okie. Think I can continue it for a while, cuz I've convinced myself that no matter what time I wake up I have to go jogging. Even if it's hella sunny already, I have to jog (who cares if I get hella tanned?). Since I'm hella too lazy to specially wake up early just to jog, so yea. That's my thinking. Two miles a day. But tmrw dunno if can cuz of the blisters.. Ouch. See how.
Temples are hella cool. I hope more ppl in Singapore support temples cuz the government sorta discourages temple culture and shiet liddat. Like they shifted most of the temples to those ulu places and industrial parks n stuff. I think all that Chinese culture stuff is cool, so ppl shouldn't lose it.
Forreal, ever since I came to Singapore I been hella into Chinese culture..like kungfu, lion dance, dialects, calligraphy, all that good shiet. Actually I was interested before I came to Singapore, but got more chances to be exposed to that stuff here I guess.
Arite, end here before I ramble on and on and on.
Silence. 021006
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Why is it so hard to concentrate. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Today sucks.
Ping ohn. 020806
How come you can find peace in some ppl without even trying, and can't find peace in others no matter how hard you try? Some ppl have a peaceful effect on me.
It's so hard to get rid of the baggage you got with a person and just be like normal together yanno? Maybe cuz it's you care too much and analyze a lot more when you're with that person. Baggage sucks.
I like the feeling when you just do something for someone purely just to make them happy. Cuz you're happy seeing them happy. Not cuz you have to or anything. But just cuz. Like when you feel that, you don't question it yanno? You just do it without really thinking.
Incentive. 020506
Pic is me in the lion head. My first real caiqing. :)
Going to chu sai during CNY time is just fun. Get to see a lot of stuff that I've never seen before. Get a glimpse into other ppl's lives, traditions, lifestyles. Get ang bao, free food, free drinks. Who wouldn't want to go chu sai?
It's fun standing in the back of the lorry, watching the ppl in the cars going by. Seeing who you can smile at, who you can wave to and have them smile or wave back. I waved to a taxi full of monks and they waved back.
I think I've put on some weight. :( Cuz in some recent pictures, I think my face looks fatter. So if you see me, do yourself a favor and not mention this or else you might kenna black eye. Cuz I'm feeling sensitive now.
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