Hey all you people, this is the Dedications page. Below is a list of
people that without whom, this page would not exist. Probably. Thanks. Oh, and this is in
no particular order so stop f**king whining people, just be grateful you're on here!!
Saga - because without her, most of my ideas for this
page would not exist. Like this one. Also, she has been a cool person to me for ages, and
is also one of only a few daft muppets who I know who likes heavy rawk, like me.
Matt Boustead - a consistent thorn in my side who
refuses to piss off even when I tell him to. Also, he is the funniest person I know (don't
let it go to your head now Matt), and is always there for me when I need someone to abuse.
Also, a me(n)tal, freak like me.
Tim - my brother, who helped me get this whole thing
started after my computer decided it didn't want to publish my web-site. Thankfully, the
computer is being nice and friendly now.
Mike Wood - for being the only person I know who can be
even more pissed than I am at parties. And for achieving this monumental height of
drunkenness within only a few minutes of said party starting. Also extremely generous with
tequila.
Erfaan - for all the dirty emails he sends me in
response to my biological enquiries. I am especially grateful for the Britney updates.
Pete - someone without whom I would not be aware of so
many of my faults. His main talents also seem to revolve around his anus. I never knew
that something that innocent looking could produce that much sound, and with such
consistent and precise timing. Respect is most definitely due.
Bas - for the same reasons as Pete, plus the fact that
his main goal in life is to be allowed to strip in front of a room full of women. I am
sure that he will one day fulfil this goal, and be paid for it. Perhaps.
Robin I - does a great
impression of a certain theology teacher, and has a respect-worthy
'don't-give-a-****' attitude towards anything and everything that comes his way.
Alec - for hair that never seems to droop, no matter
what the weather conditions outside, and also his willingness, along with Saga and Robin,
to argue his way through an entire philosophy lesson, and thus take the focus away from me
and Pete who are asleep.
Charlotte - for providing a lovelife with so much to
take the piss out of. Also has no manners. Which is nice.
Siv - for being a bit of a div. And for inventing the
'ill smell'. As well as being almost as crap as me at economics. And also for brilliantly
violent games of rubber/pen football.
Matt Briant - for having the reddest cheeks that I have
ever seen, and for having a really cool house. He is also a good man at heart, even if his
taste in music is a bit shit(!)
Jenny - for always being able to make anyone smile, no
matter how close to suicide they may be. As well as for all the bruises. Oh, and for
continuously depriving me of my lunch...erm, thanks?
Claire - for always having a smile, and also for all
the constant abuse and torture that you have made me endure over the years. Thanks.
Vicki J - for her irrational fear of the millennium bug
and Russian nuclear power-plants. And her combats that are held together with
safety-pins. Cool.
Andy Wu - for always being sooo bloody nice,
tidy and polite. And for allowing me to beat him at snooker. And his Ali G emails. Ta.
Andy Toben - for being a paedophile(anyone
of a legal disposition please note that this is only a joke - of sorts!); and for having a
really shite car. Hehehehehe.
Arif - for the fact that he and I
both share similarly unfunny and annoying jokes about a Chemistry teacher and a Maths
teacher. Those jokes will never lose the ability to make us squirm. I would also like to
bring to the attention of the listening world(approximately no-one) that Arif is the first
person to personally request a place on this list. Respect is most definitely due.
Alistair - has an irrational fear of
goths and Marilyn Manson.
David - don't know why; though we
have been friends for quite a number of years, so I suppose that'll do.
Nicola - for continuously scaring
the shit out of me with her insane laugh, and for trying to give me lung cancer every time
we go to Garfunkles.
Kat - for making sure that I
am not the only one getting their money's worth out of my watch. She also seems to have a
rubber face that forms many shapes that keep me amused during Economics. Well something
has to....oh, and she also has nice elbows (her words, not mine).
Ursula - she is the most
conservative girl I have ever met, yet still never ceases to amuse me with her insatiable
wit, whether it be intentional or not. Also founder of the phrase 'To do an Ursula'. Where
would we be without her constant smile and economic genius.
Ian - is the
tallest person I know, and the only person I have ever met who has a name for their
stomach. Best known for being able to eat more than anyone else and for being followed
everywhere he goes by chants of 'Iiiiiaaaaaan!!'. Also has a lengthy, and possibly
unhealthy, lust for Miss Williams, who has described Ian as "one of KGS's success
stories." - erm, right...
Simon - the
most intellectually blessed person of our generation. A top bloke who is also clinically
insane and an extremely mad driver. However, the most startling thing about this
remarkable man is that he is one of only a select few who has actually bothered to visit
this site regularly. For that, Simon, I salute you. Oh and he is a fugitive that the
police would love to get their hands on if only he wasn't so damn smart. And f**king
lucky.
Me - without whom this
site would literally not exist. Thanks, me.
