We've been waiting so long
Just can't hold it back no more
Creepin' up and down now
It's time for me to let it go

The young man chuckled, shaking his head.

"You're kidding, right?"

Kevin raised one eyebrow, a serious look on his face. "This is our song."

"Kev, man," Alex said, eyes glued to the page. "I'm not saying we shouldn't record it, but look at the lyrics."

Kevin knew exactly what Alex meant. "They are good."

Howie tilted his head as he looked at Kevin. "Really?"

Kevin looked sternly at Howie. "Go on Howard. You go and tell Denniz Pop that you don't want to sing his song. Come on. Do it."

Howie shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking down. "I'm not saying that."

"Then what are you saying guys, because I don't really get it?" Kevin closed his eyes in anger, then opened them, pear eyes darkening into the emerald green. "Finally, we get everything we've wanted. We get a record deal with Jive records, we're in Sweden about to record our own song with Denniz Pop nonetheless and you want to throw that away just because you don't like the song?"

Kevin's voice rose with every word and by the time the sentence was finished, he had been close to yelling.

Nick placed his hand on Kevin's forearm and squeezed softly.

Eyes going down to his arm, his gaze moved to Nick's blue eyes and Kevin smiled softly. Dazzling cobalt eyes always seemed to calm him.

"Don't get mad."

Kevin smiled tightly, feeling his cheeks blazing with fury. He took in a deep breath and let it out through his nostrils before nodding.

"Alright, I won't get mad."

Nick smiled at him. "You're right. We've got what we wanted." He looked down at the page in his hands, eyes going through the lyrics. "It's not that bad."

"It's god a good rhythm," Alex said, trying to say something nice about the song that had been written for them, and for them alone.

"It's our song," Kevin said softly. "It's our first song guys. We should be thrilled."

"We are."

Kevin felt like rolling his eyes at Brian's comment. "Could have fooled me."

"Look," Howie said, running his fingers through his short curly hair. "Lets just try and get it together, okay?"

There was a knock on the door and the five boys turned around to look at Claudia under the threshold. "You guys ready?"

Kevin nodded for the group, fingers holding tightly the sheet of paper. "Yeah."

The woman nodded at them, walking inside and sitting on a stool before the five of them. They were forming a semicircle and she regarded them with an expectant look. "Okay. You all know your parts, right? Lets begin then, shall we?"

*****

Arms crossed on his chest, Nick tilted his head to the side, resting it against the window frame.

"Nick?"

The blond turned around, surprised at seeing Kevin standing by the bedroom door. "I thought you left too."

Kevin smiled softly, shaking his head. "Nah. I wasn't in the mood."

Nick's brow furrowed. "You didn't have to stay, you know?"

The smile seemed to brighten as Kevin walked deeper into the room and sat by the end of the bed. "I don't mind."

Nick shrugged with presume nonchalance, but it was obvious by his demeanor, that he felt anything but. "You all seemed so thrilled to go partying."

"They've just gone to the bar downstairs," Kevin said with hidden laughter at the boy's jealousy. He couldn't blame the rest of the guys to want to celebrate their first song. Nick couldn't go; he was only fourteen after all. Alex shouldn't have gone either, but the boy could hold his liquor, so Kevin tried his best not to get into a fight with him about it.

Howie had promised not to let AJ have too much to drink. Kevin trusted Howie in that aspect.

Nick leaned against the window frame once again, facing Kevin. "Still."

"I don't mind staying, you know? I've partied enough in the last years."

Nick's head tilted at the words being said. "You've never told me about that."

"My party years?" Kevin continued when Nick nodded. He chuckled at the remembrance and shook his head. "I don't know what kind of role model I'd be if I told you about that."

Intrigued by the chosen words, Nick walked over to the bed, joining Kevin as he took a seat. He pulled himself up with his hands and rested against the back of the bed. "Tell me."

Kevin let out a long sigh between barely parted lips and looked up to the ceiling. He picked a discarded pillow, placing it behind his back and against the wall. "Well, there's not much to say, really."

"That's not what it sounded like."

Kevin laughed, shaking his head. "I really don't know why you wanna hear this."

"I just... you must have done so much."

Kevin didn't feel like that. "I don't think so. I was young... I was eighteen, nineteen. When you're that young you don't care about anything else but drinking and going out."

Nick nodded absentmindedly, following the story and trying to picture this Kevin four years younger and could only smile at the image. Kevin at twenty-three looked anything but the partying type.

Chuckling as he remembered arriving back at his house at the crack of down, drunk out of his ass, resting against the banister because taking another step seemed too hard for him to achieve, Kevin shook his head in surprise at his actions. "Why do you want to know all this?"

Nick's eyes moved down to the floor, staring at something that wasn't there. He tried to put his feelings into words, biting down his lower lip. "I don't know."

Kevin could feel something there behind Nick's supposedly easy behavior. He knew Nick rather well, and could tell when there was something bothering the young man.

"You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

Nick nodded, even though sometimes he wondered about that himself. He knew he was the youngest of them all, he knew that, but he just didn't want to seem like it. He wished, for once, he wouldn't feel like such a child.

"It's nothing," Nick lied through clenched teeth and Kevin saw the lie through and through.

"I don't think so."

Nick snorted and Kevin wondered if he was maybe prying too much.

"It's just that..." Nick said after a moment of silence between them, eyes still on the floor. "I just wonder what it is to be an adult."

"You're fourteen Nick. You shouldn't worry about that." Kevin gazed at Nick with confused eyes. "I'm an adult and I don't like it very much. You have to worry about paying your bills and getting a job. Once you do get a job you have to worry about keeping it and getting early." Kevin shook his head with a soft sigh. "No, being a kid it's much simpler."

"Well, you're an adult, of course you have to say that."

"No, I'm telling you because I can compare," Kevin said slowly, his drawl thicker in the silence of the night. "You're a kid Nick, enjoy it. It won't last much longer."

"I hope so," Nick said under his breath.

Kevin stood up, walking over to the blond and sitting by his side, one leg under over the other, his knee touching the side of Nick's right leg. "Nick, what is it? You're not usually like this. Is something wrong?"

Nick wondered if he should answer the question, lifting his eyes to look at Kevin. It was plainly obvious in dark green that the man wouldn't leave until he got an answer, and a satisfying one at that.

"I just..." Nick let out a long sigh, feeling like a stupid child once again. "I miss home."

Gosh, the words sounded even more pathetic when he said them.

But Kevin's smile softened and his hand moved over to Nick's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "Nick..."

The corner of Nick's lip curved in a self-deprecating smile and shrugged his shoulders.

"Nick," Kevin said, staring right into deep ocean blue eyes, "there's nothing wrong with that."

"I sound like a kid."

"Well, it'd be hard not to. You are one."

"Don't remind me please."

"Why not?" Kevin wondered out loud. "There's nothing wrong with being a kid. I was a child, so were Brian and Howie. What's wrong with that?"

"You're all adults now. You behave like such, people listen to you, you don't miss your family..."

"Nick," Kevin said, placing his fingers on Nick's chin and forcing the blond to look at him, "you think I don't miss home?"

With a sad smile, Nick nodded.

Kevin laughed and at Nick's annoyed expression, he shut up and promised himself he wouldn't laugh at any of Nick's questions, again. "Nick, of course I miss home."

Nick frowned, tilting his head to the side. "Really?"

Kevin smiled at the blond. "Of course. I miss home terribly. I miss my apartment, and local TV." He grinned. "I missed being able to buy a newspaper and read what it says. I miss asking where the bathroom is in English."

Nick chuckled at the words said, understanding Kevin. Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard on him to be away from home if they were somewhere where they speak English.

"Brian misses home too."

Nick nodded. "I know that." Nick paused, then shrugged. "I just thought you didn't."

"Now you know I do too." Kevin smiled down at the young blond, placing his arm around Nick's shoulders. "Brian hated not graduating with his class, you know that, right?"

One corner of his lips twitched upwards in a sad expression, Nick nodded. He remembered Brian telling him about that. It had only been three weeks since his class graduated and Brian still resented not being able to join his friends.

"He knows he did right," Nick said after a moment. "He knows it was better if he staid with us, but he still hated it."

Kevin nodded. He had tried with everything he could to convince Lou to let Brian fly back to graduate with his class, but it hadn't been possible. The trip to Sweden had already been scheduled, singing coaching had been decided and studio time had been separated. They couldn't postpone it; therefore Brian had to settle with receiving his diploma on the mail.

Silently, only with a small smile on his lips, Kevin scooted over to Nick's side, laying against the back of the bed. His left leg was touching Nick's right one, and he sighed softly. His arm moved along Nick's shoulder, rubbing Nick's left forearm up and down. He bended towards Nick slightly, and Nick rested his head against Kevin's own.

Nick was already fourteen, almost a young man, but that didn't mean he wasn't comfortable being in Kevin's arms, and being comforted by the older man.

"I really miss home," Nick relented after a while.

Kevin nodded, the movement making Nick's head bow slightly. "I know."

"I miss mom's cooking."

Kevin chuckled. "Oh, boy, I know."

"I can't believe this," Nick added, "but I miss BJ and Leslie too."

"And the twins?"

"Of course I miss the twins."

He laughed, squeezing Nick's shoulder tighter. "They are really sweet."

"Mom said they miss you too," Nick said with a small smile. "That they ask about 'evin"

Kevin turned around, giving Nick a confused expression. "evin?"

Nick nodded with a loud chuckle. "Yep. They can't seem to be able to say your name."

"Isn't that great?"

Nick just chuckled, and Kevin messed the blond hair, Nick shaking his head.

Laughter was loud in the room, both boys enjoying the innocent banter in between.

"Can I call mom tomorrow?"

Kevin thought about Nick's question for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure you can."

A smile made its way towards the blonde's lips. "Thanks."

Kevin shrugged it off dismissively, Nick's smile being reward enough.

"Kevin?"

Tilting his head to the side, Kevin looked at Nick, green eyes clear under the dim light entering the open curtains. "Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Kevin nodded. "Sure."

"Can you stay tonight?" Nick bit down his lower lip, feeling like a wimp for asking. Kevin had bunked with him a couple of times last year, during their local tours. It had always helped him feel safe in new environments, and in a new country all the way on the other side of his home, he needed it more than ever.

But he still felt like a weak child for asking.

In the back of his mind, however, Nick knew Kevin would never refuse anything he asked. The few times he had been scared after a movie, Kevin had always slept with him. He knew that, if asked, Kevin would keep him company.

He just wished he didn't need such company.

With a soft smile on his lips, Kevin nodded. "Of course."

Nick nodded again, resting his head against Kevin's, the air leaving his lungs in a soft breath.

"Sleepy?"

Nick thought about the question for a moment, then shook his head. "Not yet. In a little while."

Kevin agreed. It was still rather early for them to head over to sleep. "Okay. Just let me know."

Nick understood and only smiled. Right now silence in the room, peace around him, dim light entering the room, he wanted nothing else. The arm around his shoulder tightened its hold on him, lowering to his waist, bringing closer to Kevin's side, and Nick accommodated himself, head perched on Kevin's shoulder.

Sighing softly, Nick felt the weight of his gold pendant falling outside of his shirt and down his chest, remembering the excitement he had felt when blue eyes had fallen onto crescent moon on velvet box. It had been stunning.

Such a simple thing reminded him of the way Kevin made him feel.

He felt secure on Kevin's arm, safe in his hold. Nick only remembered feeling this secure in his mother's arms, and even then it had been different. Back then it had been motherly love, totally understandable. Every mother would die for her child. It was the way it was.

Except this was different. In Kevin's arms, Nick felt secure like in no other place. He knew Kevin loved him, but that love was a different one. It wasn't in the form of a parent, because Nick could feel the difference. It wasn't like the love from a friend either. It was much more than that, deeper.

In his heart, Nick knew that if asked, Kevin would die for him, and that made him let out a soft sigh between his rosy lips and close his eyes as Kevin's head turned around and placed a small kiss on Nick's forehead.

He didn't worry about the outside words; he didn't worry about being in a new continent, in a new county. He didn't worry about the lyrics to learn and the new responsibilities to hold.

In Kevin's arms, nothing worried him. He could just be.