The plane ride was uneventful. The guys, still lacking a couple of hours of sleep, spend the whole ride half dead. Kevin was the only one who actually managed to stay awoke and had the job of letting them know they had arrived at LA safely.

As their schedules dictated, the morning had been all work and no fun, something the four singers didn't like at all. Between the magazine interview and photo shoot, they had barely had time to breath before lunch.

The guys had a quiet lunch in the hotel restaurant, then retrieved to their rooms, knowing they had a couple of hours to kill before the concert.

Kevin had been reading sitting on his bed when he heard a knock on his door. "Come on in!"

Peaking though the door, Kevin saw Brian smiling face looking right at him. He entered the room, sitting at the end of the bed. "Hey Kev. Nick and I were planning on going shopping over to Electronics Boutique. He says there's this cool new game he wants to buy. We'd be back before the concert."

Kevin nodded. They had enough time for the two friends to enjoy some down time and get to the venue. "Sure. Thanks for letting me know."

Brian gave him another smile before turning around and walking over to the door. He knew that if him and Nick left without telling Kevin, they'd have found trouble when they arrived.

As Brian reached the doorknob, Kevin felt his instincts taking over. A eerie feeling surrounded him for a moment. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He could almost smell it. Something was most definitely wrong. He could feel goose bumps all over his arms and on the back of his neck.

Don't let them go. His senses told him. Don't let them. Don't.

Just like he had centuries before, he listened to what his mind was telling him. "Hey, B!"

The younger Kentucky cousin turned around. "Yeah?"

"I was thinking, maybe we could go bowling. You know, the five of us. I talked with the hotel manager earlier and he told me there were this cool installations not so far from here. That is, if ya want?" Kevin knew just how much Nick liked bowling. Brian, knowing this as well, would understand that the young blond would choose it instead of going shopping for a game.

Brian seemed to consider it for a moment, thinking about it. They had planned to go shopping, after all LA had great stores, but bowling was cool as well. Something the five of them enjoyed.

Accept Brian. Trust me on this. Accept. Kevin didn't know if he would have to push Brian to agree, and he sure didn't want to. But if that was the only option he had left, he wouldn't hesitate. This feeling around him, this feeling of protection and prevention, was overwhelming him.

"Sure." Brian said after a moment. He knew Nick would accept going bowling instead of shopping. Besides, they could shop later on.

Kevin nodded. His body finally calming down as he heard the acceptance of the younger man. It had been the right choice, and he didn't even had to push him. "I'll ask for directions. You tell the guys to meet me here in twenty, ok?"

"Ok, I'll tell them." With that, Brian left the room.

Kevin picked up the phone and dialed the front desk, asking for the nearest bowling place. He hadn't spoken with the hotel manager about it, but that had been the first idea he could think of to get them to change their plans. He still didn't know why, but he felt it was imperative.

*****

Thirty minutes later they were in their way to the bowling court. The five of them were sitting in the van, chatting comfortably.

"Why did ya decide to go bowling?" Howie asked as he turned to look at Kevin. It had been quite a surprised that Brian had called him telling him that Kevin had planned for them to go bowling.

The older man shrugged. "I thought it'd be cool. It's been ages since we've gone bowling, it just kinda came up."

"Well, I'm personally glad." Nick said as he bounced up and down on his seat in anticipation. "Even though I wanted to get this new version of Final Fantasy, bowling is a lot better. Besides, I can buy it afterwards."

"Are we on for competition?" questioned AJ as he looked at his brothers. They had this personal competition between the five of them. The looser paid the check, and the winner got to choose the next day's breakfast. Kinda cool if you were the winner.

"We sure are!" Nick waved his hands enthusiastically as he lifted his hand. "I'm so beating you guys!"

"Yeah, right! I'm gonna win today. That's for sure!" Brian said with a grin. He usually ended up either third of fourth, at least happy he wasn't loosing completely.

Howie sighed. "I think I'll pass guys. You know, my hand had been hurting lately and..."

But AJ cut him off. "Yeah, you're only saying that D because you always loose. You're gonna have to pay up and you know it."

The curly haired man glared at him, hoping he'd keep quiet. AJ was so not helping.

Nick laughed it off. "J's right Howie. You always loose. I think maybe it's because you use a pretty light ball... maybe if you use a heavier one..."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny Nick." Howie grumped. Out of them all, he was the one who used the lighter ball. AJ and Brian would use a 13 or 14. Nick used his old favorite 15. Kevin was so very comfortable with 16, it wasn't even funny. While Howie was barely able to hold his weight with a 11.

Kevin only smiled. He enjoyed this, hanging out with the guys, no worries around him. That stunning feeling that had gripped him back in his room was all gone now. He didn't see the future, that was the farthest from the truth. All he had was a highly developed instinct. Like a gut feeling, but a lot more accurate. Usually he didn't know why he felt like that, what he was protecting himself, or the guys, from, but he'd found out. Eventually. He always did.

Nick turned around and looked at Kevin, a soft smile playing on his lips as his eyes found the sapphire green ones of the one he loved. Reminding himself to watch it out, just in case Kevin could figure out his feeling, he spoke. "What about you old man, think you can beat me this time?"

The older man let out a soft laugh, confidence dripping from his tone. "Of course Nick. Just like I always do."

"He's right there Nick." Howie interrupted. "He always wins."

"Not this time D." Nick said very sure of himself. "I'm gonna win today. And I'm gonna ask for ice-cream and coke for breakfast and Kevin is gonna eat it."

"Over my dead body Nicky." Kevin added with a secret smile. That was never gonna happen. "Neither of us will have junk food for breakfast, I'd make sure of that."

"I'll see to that." Nick finished with a devilish smirk.

Kevin's smile waver for a moment, as he recalled a set of pink lips turned up slightly, shinning under the sun, in a very similar way. None of the guys noticed this, for which Kevin was deeply grateful. He knew he wouldn't have been able to explained it, had they asked. That was something private. Something personal... something so dear to his heart, that the memory itself gave him an inexplicable sense of warmth. Much too strong and powerful to deal with it in a van with the guys by his side. He would think about it, he would let himself be consumed by the images, in the solitude of his room. In his own personal heaven and hell. In his eternal purgatory.

As if on cue, they reached the bowling court. Kevin had talked with the owner of the place so it could be closed for a couple of hours. The last thing they wanted was being interrupted by fans. Sure, they loved them to dead and knew that it was because of their fans that they were where they were, but there were moments, very much like this, that a little quiet time was the best.

"Let's hit it!" Nick yelled as soon as he reached the door, running to the entrance. The three singers looked at each other and followed the example of their youngest member.

Kevin saw the guys laughing and running down to the lines, and smiled. A soft, tender smile that graced his face. The hurt was still there, the pain, but he could deal with it. For moments like this, he could deal with it.

*****

About an hour onto the game, and you could have bet your money on just who was gonna pay the bill and who was gonna order tomorrow's breakfast.

Kevin had won the first line. With 115, he had beaten Nick by a good twenty points. The young blond had to settle for second place with 95 points. AJ got 88, Brian 82, while Howie, as predicted, barely accomplished 71.

Now they were almost done with the second line, and Nick was hoping he could beat Kevin. He was barely down by 10 points, he could still do it. As the blond picked up his ball, a news report filled the screen of the TVs on either side of the lines.

"What the hell?" muttered AJ as he turned to look at the screen.

"We interrupt today's usual program with a live Broadcast from downtown." the News Reporter, a lovely Asian woman wearing a navy blue dress suit, said in front of the camera as you could see a tall building in the back. "At 4pm. today four men entered Electronics Boutique, taking employees and customers hostages. Negotiations are ongoing with the kidnappers, who informed police that two employees and one customer had been shot when the manager tried to activate the silent alarm. We do not know the extend of their injuries, nor the number of hostages. The police are negotiating with the assailants to let medical care in. We will inform you about the situation as the time progress. This is Yukimi Yshii for NBC news."

The place was in total silence.

Brian was looking at the screen, blinking, trying to absorb everything that had been said so far. Nick wasn't much better. The ball was still frozen in his hands, his fingers still in the holes. His eyes hadn't left the TV, even thought the news report had long ago changed to the movie that had been showing before the broadcast.

Both of them knew it could have been them. It could have been the two of them in that electronic store. One of them could have been shot, or even both. If it hadn't been for Kevin's idea to go bowling, they would have been in the store during the time the four guys got there.

Kevin felt his instincts ease down as the words from the reporter sunk into his psyche. This was what he was protecting them from. This was why his instincts had gone over the board the minute Brian mentioned going shopping. If it hadn't been for it, if he hadn't said something...

The older man shook his head slightly. He couldn't think like that. They had skipped that bump. Everything was alright now. Or not so alright...

Looking around the room, Kevin realized that his four friends were still shaken up. Specially both Brian and Nick. The young blond was standing by the end of the line, his eyes staring at the tv screen. Kevin knew for a fact that Nick had just been hit with the realization that he had been too close to being in a dangerous situation for his liking. For anyone's liking. Brian was sitting by the line's table, looking at Nick, his own crystal blue unfocused.

Before Kevin could do anything, before he could stand up and walk over to the blond who held such a dear place in his heart and comfort him, Brian had stood up from his chair abruptly, capturing the guys' attention, and made his way to where Nick was standing and hugged him fiercely.

Nick turned around just in time and got a hold on the shorter man just as tight. They stood there, holding each other for dear life, for the longest time.

Both AJ and Howie turned to look at Kevin, their eyes pleading silently. Kevin nodded slightly, his head barely moving, as the three of them walked to where their two friends were standing. It didn't take the group of three more than a second to hug their two last members.

All five of them, holding each other as tight as one could muster, stood in the middle of the bowling field. The balls waiting for them in the carriers, the game long ago forgotten. All they could think of, all their minds could process at this point, was the sudden knowledge that they had almost lost two of their best friends.

*****

Kevin blinked at the clear white color of his room's ceiling from his position on his bed. After ending their hug, Kevin had suggested -- or rather told them -- they'd better get back to the hotel, neither of them being in any position to finish the game. Besides, the older man was mostly sure they'd all need the time alone. At least that was what he needed at the moment. As soon as they had arrived at the hotel, they had all scattered to their respective rooms, agreeing on meeting in the hallway four thirty, so they could leave for the venue.

And now, his mind was still surprised at what could have happened if he hadn't insisted for the guys to go bowling. He knew it'd have been either Nick or Brian who would have gotten shot if they had gone there. He knew it, because otherwise his instincts wouldn't have called him not to let them go, to keep them safe.

This wasn't the first time it happened, Kevin accepted that, but it had never been so terrifying the situation they could have gotten into. And that scared the older man.

A soft knocking brought Kevin back from his musings as he stood up and walked out of the room and onto the living room area. Opening the door without even asking who it was, Kevin leaned against the doorframe as one of his dearest friends came into view.

"Hey," Nick said timidly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey."

"Can I come in?"

It was obvious for Kevin that Nick was totally nervous about this, since the young blond kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes glancing down to the floor, not even once meeting Kevin's clear green ones.

"Sure," Kevin stepped aside to let the blond in and closed the door after him.

Nick took a seat on the couch, his finger fidgeting with each other as his eyes, once again, didn't leave his hands. "I... I wanted to know what there was in schedule for tomorrow."

Kevin sat by the blonde's side and he could almost feel the fear coming from Nick's form. Kevin knew that fear wasn't directed over to Kevin himself, but to everything in general. Realizing you could have died wasn't something the human raze tended to take easily, Kevin knew from personal experience. But the fact that it was one of his best friends, one of the people who held a dear place in heart, hurt him even deeper.

"You ok?" Kevin asked softly as he placed his hand on Nick's shoulder, the blond flinching instantly and visibly. "Nick?"

"Yeah," Nick was able to whisper, the single touch of Kevin's hand on his skin making the tears he had been planning not to shed sting deeply in his sky blue eyes. "Yeah."

"Nick, don't lie to me, please." Kevin's own voice was just as low, his tone carrying an unspoken request of openness and trust. And, to much of Nick's surprise, the warm feeling of love.

Definitely

Nick was finally able to lift his eyes to the sapphire green ones that were Kevin's. The minute dazzling blue meet powerful green, Nick lost all composure as he threw himself to Kevin's chest, holding onto the older man for dear life. His tears, tears he had been trying to hold since he heard the news, leaving his eyes in a salty cascade of transparent liquid.

Kevin embraced Nick with as much force as he could put in his actions, his arms surrounding the younger man, his cheek resting on top Nick's head as he himself shed a couple of tears of his own. The reasons were different, that was obvious for the dark haired man, but it wasn't important at the moment. His young friend was hurting and that was enough to make Kevin hurt for him. The pain Nick was feeling shinning fiercely in Kevin's heart as the connection -- the link Kevin was sure had long ago been lost in one point, at one time in the past -- seemed to reunited him with the young blond. At that amazed Kevin. It amazed him after all this time, he could still feel Nick's soul so close to his heart.

Holding onto Kevin, his face buried on his chest, Nick felt at home and such at ease he was surprised by it. It was like... something of him had been missing for a long time and finally now, his flesh against Kevin's, he had found it. It was only then, in Kevin's embrace, that Nick felt comfortable enough to cry away his fears and sorrows. The idea of him dyeing, of what could have happened in the store if him and Brian had gone, was so frightening for Nick that his heart seemed to clench every time he thought about it.

"Shhh...." Kevin said as he started rubbing Nick's back, hoping Nick would calm down, get it all out. "It's ok Nick. It's ok. You're here. You're here with me."

Nick continued sobbing for the longest time, his tears running freely down his cheeks and marring Kevin's shirt as they penetrated through the soft fabric and wetted Kevin's chest. He opened his mouth, his lips parting absently, as he grabbed Kevin's sweater and pulled it over to his mouth, trying to muffle his cries, trying to calm himself.

Hoarse cries and painful groans left Nick's lips and every sound touched and stung deeply in Kevin's heart. Sheer pain and sorrow exposed themselves in those cries. Pain held hidden under layers of numbness necessary for him to live the life he had been giving seemed to shine brightly in Kevin's eyes.

Kevin sat there, the blond laying on his chest as he kept crying, while his arms were around his friend, his head resting on Nick's, kissing the soft golden locks every now and then. His heart clenching every second that ticked by, Nick's pain turning into his, his sorrow and fear blowing away over to the older man's mind and soul.

When Nick lifted his head from Kevin chest, he didn't know how long he had been in that position. The only thing he did knew was that he felt somewhat better, securer, more reassured that everything would be alright just by Kevin's simple touch.

Nick's movements were slow, the time stretching as seconds seemed hours. Nick's baby blue eyes met with Kevin's sapphire green ones and his breath was caught in his throat. Concern was obvious in the older man's face, hurt shinning in his deep green eyes. And love. So much love looking right back at him that Nick felt like he was experiencing a sensory overload, and he couldn't get enough of it. Love directed only at him in that very second.

And everything the young blond had been feeling for the past three years. Every second of staring at his older brother. Every simple touch from his fingers on the pearl white skin. Every brotherly hug directed towards the camera for a snap shot that had consumed Nick's heart and made his love for Kevin grow with time took over Nick's rational mind as he started moving without even realizing it.

Nick's hands moved at their own accord over to Kevin's shielded cheeks. Fingers started caressing slowly and lovingly the tender flesh. Before a second passed by, Nick brought Kevin's lips to his. And, when they met, Nick found heaven.

Tentatively, slowly, Nick brushed his lips against Kevin's own. Fear gripped his heart, not really knowing if what was happening at the moment was real or just an induce dream fighting its way into his foggy mind. And even if it was, even if it was only Nick's wishful thinking taking control over his sanity, he didn't care; didn't want to find out. If it, indeed, wasn't real, then Nick didn't want to know. Because knowing would mean that this touch, the beauty of Kevin's rosy thin lips against his own reddish ones, would be only a game played by his already cloudy mind; and that would be devastating.

Wanting more, needing more, his right hand made its way over to the back of Kevin's neck, pulling the older man closer to him. With his other hand, Nick stared running his fingers through the dark thick hair of the man that meant so much to him. Nick's tongue moved along Kevin's upper lip, asking entrance he hoped Kevin wasn't about to deny him. It wasn't a second after that Nick found himself allowed to deepen the kiss.

It all seemed surreal as Kevin felt Nick clinging to him, Nick's lips on his very own, their tongues dancing. His heart sore with love and tenderness, his hands aching for the touch, needing to feel the milky white skin against his own. One moved to Nick's cheek, caressing the soft flesh, the other one to Nick's waist, pulling him closer until he almost on Kevin's lap.

Then suddenly, just as their kiss had started, Kevin could see flashes of light in the back of his mind. He could see the shadows he had been running from all this years. He could see the sparks of illumination calling to him. He could see the dark green of the grass shinning under the light. Everything was shown to him at once, making him realize just what he was doing. And he remembered. After all this time of trying his damnedest to make up for the mistakes done, he was falling once again.

And he couldn't do that.

Kevin placed his hands on Nick's chest, pushing him away from his lips, from his chest, from his heart even. "We can't," Kevin said, breathlessly, "we can't. It's not right."

Nick looked up at the older man, startled at the sudden action. His baby blue eyes filled with tears as realization hit. Everything he had been wishing for, every single hope he held in the last three years were shattered by two single words We Can't. "I..." Nick tried his best to talk, to form a word, to make his brain work in such a situation, but everything seemed pointless. Every little thing he could think about seemed worthless after what had just happened. "I..."

When Nick's blue eyes locked with Kevin's green ones and only found decision and darkness in them, Nick knew there was nothing he could say to change that. His heart clenching in pain and sorrow, Nick took one last look at Kevin before standing up and bolting out of the room. His hand opened the door out of habit more than of notion. His feet took him to his own suite in a self preservation state. His arm subconsciously slammed the door when he found himself in the safety of his quarters.

Tears running freely down his cheeks, lips pressed tightly against each other, hands shakily covering his face, Nick threw himself on the bed. His legs moved to his chest, trying to protect him of something he knew could happen but had always wished he'd never know. His body trembled out of bottomless hurt. The young blond could actually feel his heart shattering in a million pieces over and over again as the words run through his mind until it was the only thing he could hear.

We can't. It's not right. We can't. It's not right. We can't. It's not right. We can't. It's not right. wecan'tit'snotrightwecan'tit'snotrightwecan'tit'snotrightwecan'tit'snotright.

He never loved me! His heart, mind and psyche shouted. He never loved me. He never did. He pushed me away. He never loved me. He could never love me!

His arms moved around his body, hugging himself, giving him as much comfort as they could. His tears fell on his pillows. His limps felt numb. His heart stung with hurt. Nick grabbed the pillow, the closer to his hand, and pressed it tightly against his mouth. Holding it with both hands, Nick cried onto it. His tears soaked the soft feathers in no time. His frustration, pain and hurt were lead out in his screams, muffled by the same. The young blond put all his might and what little force he had left, bit the cushion until his jaw hurt. After crying his heart out, he, once again, felt empty.

*****

Kevin looked at the closed door not which Nick had only left through seconds before as he sighed softly. He started rubbing his face with his palms, trying to ease the exhaustion that seem to grip him at that moment.

It had been bad enough that he had let the kiss happen, now, to top things, Nick was feeling guilty. Kevin couldn't help but feel Nick's pain as his own. It was true that he had a deeper connection with the guys, the bond between the five of them going life times after life times, but his connection with Nick run even deeper. And whatever the blond felt, Kevin felt it ten times worse. It didn't matter than a walls were separating the two of them, or that even a room stood in the middle, Kevin could still feel Nick's pain consuming him.

He stood up from the couch and walked over to the mini bar with heavy feet. Opening the door, he took out a bottle of wine, picking up a glass for the nearby cupboard. Not even bothering to serve himself some, knowing he most probably finish the whole bottle, Kevin made his way over to the balcony.

Bottle of wine in his left hand, champagne class in the right one, both balcony's door opened slowly without the need of his touch, wind blowing into the suite. Kevin walked through the threshold, moving over to the corner and leaning against the wall. He usually tried to make sure that his rooms had a balcony, finding the view of the busy city underneath him soothing.

Looking at the bottle, the cork was pushed out of the same, levitating a feet above it on the air. Kevin run his fingers rough his disheveled hair once again, his right hand holding the glass. The dark liquid continued being poured into the glass, the bottle being hold in the air by an unseen force. When the whole glass was filled, the cork was pushed back into the bottle with only the focus of his green eyes.

He placed the bottle on the corner of the rail, walking over to the edge of the small space. He leaned against the wooden rail, green eyes fixed upon the blinking lights of the city. Kevin took a sip of the blood, his senses going wild as the liquid filled his body. Even though he had only fed last night, the rush that the dark liquid provided was hypnotizing and overwhelming.

The cold wind of the city blowing his spiky hair, Kevin could still feel the hot sun of his memories on his face. He could still hear the grass under the hooves of his horse. He could still see his back then long dark hair falling into his eyes. He could listen to the voice by his side, calling his attention.

*****

And his world, as he had known it until then, changed.