Last night had been his worse nightmare come true. Had it really happened? He wasn't sure. It all seemed like brought from a dream. Every single memory was blurred, smudged. From the moment he had gone to Kevin's room to the rejection in the green eyes. He barely even remembered the way he had spent the night. He could only remember the covers of his bed and his eyes and head hurting.

Nick shook his head. He didn't want to remember. Whatever had happened yesterday, he didn't want to remember. He wasn't going to touch the subject. He wasn't even going to talk with Kevin about it. To him, the whole deal was dead. Like he felt.

He turned around, watching the clock on the side by wall. It was almost ten. No wonder Kevin hadn't sent someone to wake him. He probably didn't want to have anything to do with him more than Nick himself did.

Focusing as much as he could in the state he was in, he tried to remembered what were they suppose to do today. Concert around six, he remembered that. But did they have the rest of the day off? Probably not. Not after having yesterday afternoon off.

Before he could think any further about it, he heard a knocking on the door. Shaking his head, trying to clear from the cobwebs he was sure were roaming inside, he made his way to the door. Taking in a deep breath, preparing himself to face the man he didn't want to see, he opened the door.

It was a relieve to stare into a very similar pair of blue eyes.

"Nick? My god, you look like crap."

Nick glared at him. "Not shit Sherlock."

Passing by Nick's side, he entered the room. "No, really Nick. What in god's name happened to you?"

Nick shook his head, walking over to his room, not caring if Brian was following him. Actually, hoping the older man wasn't. He didn't want to talk with Brian. He didn't want to talk with anyone about this. "Nothing," he muttered under his breath, letting himself fall down unceremoniously onto the bed. Pulling the covers over his head, he pretended he could hide himself from the rest of the world. Yeah, right.

"Nick. I'm serious here. What's wrong with you?" Brian took a seat by Nick's bedside. "You skipped breakfast. It was a surprise when Kevin didn't come and get you, but you're like this. Tell me."

The blond shook his head, even though he was sure Brian didn't see him. "Nothing."

"That's not nothing Nick, don't act like I don't know you."

He shook his head again. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't really care if Brian would understand him or hear him complain about it. He didn't want to even remember what had happened. If Kevin hadn't talked about it, then that meant the older man didn't even want to remember it. So he wouldn't. He wouldn't speak about it. "Nothing Brian," he pleaded. "Leave it at that."

Brian leaned over, glancing at the blond. Something had happened, if he could only pry it out of Nick. "Nicky, you know you can trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you, I..." He let out a long sigh. He wasn't going to talk Brian out of this. He was as stubborn as they came. "I just had a rough night."

"Define rough night."

"I..." He shook his head again. It wasn't like he wanted to lie to Brian, but the older man didn't leave him much of a choice. "I... I got kinda down, all right? Got to listen to some track and think... It didn't help."

"Oh Nicky," Brian said softly, rubbing in small circular patterns on his back, hoping to calm him down. "I'm sorry. I wish you had told me sooner. I could have come here last night, you know, to play something to take your mind off things."

Sitting down on the bed, Nick rubbed his eyes with his fits. "It's ok. I'm fine now. And you shouldn't worry, I can deal with this on my own." And he was going to, one way or the other."

Brian nodded. He knew Nick hated when he got all over protective over his 'little brother'. But how could he not? He loved Nick dearly and hoped everything would fall into place with his cousin. He bit back his chuckle. If Kevin could only hear his thoughts, there was a huge chance the older man would hate him to death for wishing that.

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

Nick shook his head again. "Thanks, though."

Brian smiled slightly. "It's ok. But you know I'm here to talk to, if you ever want to."

"I know." Pausing to think about it, he wondered for a moment. "Kevin didn't say anything?"

Brian shook his head. "No. Nothing. He only said we should let you slip in, after yesterday..." He trailed off. He knew Nick knew what he was talking about. It had been quite a shock to know that they had almost been in that department store when that happened. He didn't want to think about it. He had been quite scared as well, calling Leigh in the middle of the night to talk about it. He probably wouldn't accept that to anyone except Nick who was in the same position. And perhaps even Kevin. He was family after all.

"Yeah," Nick hung his head low. That didn't help.

Brian tilted his lead, looking closely at Nick. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Nick lowered his gaze. Somewhere in the back of his mind something told him if he left Brian see inside, he would realize something was most definitely wrong with him. He nodded. "Yeah, kinda. I'm tired, that's all."

"If you're sure..."

Nodding again, he continued. "Yeah. Tired."

Checking his watch, Brian guesses Nick must be hungry, given the fact that he hadn't have breakfast. "Hey, do you wanna go grab something to eat. Just the two of us?"

Nick thought about it for a moment. As much as he wanted to go with Brian, he still feared he would find out. But, was he going to do this all the time? Whenever one of the guys wanted to hang out with him, was he going to run away? He couldn't. At point they would either find out or confront him and neither picture seemed pleasant. "Sure, why not? Just let me grab a quick shower and I'll be out in a minute."

Brian smiled. It was something.

*****

Kevin blinked slowly, his gaze blurry, barely able to focus on the redness of his glass. Swirling the liquid, he took a long sip.

Summoning the control to his hand, Kevin turned off the TV. He had wanted to the noise to take his mind of the very subject he couldn't help but think about.

He knew it had been a long night. Both to him and Nick. He didn't need to even focus on Nick's mind to realize that. Nick's pain was so tangible; it kept vibrating in his heart.

It hurt him. It hurt Kevin to know what Nick was going through, but he forced himself from going over to the blond. Nick would get through; he knew that. Not only would Nick get through, but he knew it would be for the best.

Shacking his head, he took another swing at the liquid in his glass. The blood tasted sweet against his teeth, making its way down his throat slowly, leaving him wanting more.

He probably go on hunting tonight. Or tomorrow. It all depended on how things went after this morning.

Brian's voice still resounded in his mind. His concern tone for Nick's welfare, bewildered at Kevin letting the youngest sleep in. He knew it was probably the wrong call, but his instinct to protect his own had been greater. Nick had needed more time, and so Kevin had given it. No matter what Brian thought.

He took another sip of the glass, the old green bottle of wine almost empty. He still had another three packed. That should do for at least two more days.

Kevin closed his eyes slowly, seeing Nick's blue eyes looking back at him in the back of his psyche. There was pain there. Pain and hurting all over. He would do anything to help the child, but things were out of his hand. When Nick's lips had touched his own, things had gotten out of hand. He couldn't do anything else. If keeping Nick saved meant not doing anything, then that was what he was going to do. He had made the same mistake so many life times now, he wasn't going to do it in this one as well.

Even then it first started; he had made mistakes.

*****

California's desert
1614

Seeing the redness on the young's cheeks, Kevin smiled tenderly.

*****

Kevin shook his head, his mind clearing from the fog that seemed to take over it whenever memories came back to haunt him.

He checked his watch. It was close to one pm and he knew he had a tone of things to take care of. Finishing the last glass that held the bottle, he placed the bottle back on the minibar along with the other two and closed it. He would have to go hunting again tonight. His whole instincts were going off, needing to free the adrenaline he held inside.