He knew they were waiting for somebody. Of course he knew. He had heard Brian and Nick talk about it. A Claudia something. He could swear he had heard that name before in the past couple of days. He shrugged mentally. He would probably remember it later.

"HA!" Nick yelled, his body leaning to his right as his game cart took a closed curve. "I'm the king, Brian. Better give up now."

"Shut up."

"Yeah, like--"

Before Nick could even finish his sentence, the doorbell rang and AJ stood up in one quick motion. Brian and Nick turned the game off, complaining not as loudly about having to end a game as one would have imagined.

Kevin turned around, trying his best to see between AJ's position and the barely opened door.

"Hey there stranger," Kevin heard AJ say. "Long time no see."

"Are you going to open the door or do I have to freeze over here?"

It was a female voice. It had a chirpy tone but serious at the same time. Her voice was clear and light. If Kevin had to connect it with something, the back of his mind told him it was very similar to the sun and maybe even the forest. Why? He wasn't sure.

AJ, chuckling loudly, opened the door. "You haven't changed, you little piece of..."

The person entering the room, a bright smile on her lips, shook her head in amusement. Her shoulder lenght wavy auburn hair was pulled back in a loose and low ponytail. She had very clear and powerful brown eyes. She turned around, her eyes scanning the room, falling upon each and every one of the guys. Kevin felt so very small under her gaze.

"Well, if you guys haven't changed a bit. Except you Nicky boy," she said just as Nick stood up to greet her. "You've grown a couple of inches, haven't you?"

Nick had to laugh at her comment. He had indeed. He walked over her, embracing her in a tight hug. "We've missed you Claud," he said just as he pulled away at arm's length. Two years had passed by and now he was almost a foot taller than her.

"I know Nicky."

Both Howie and Brian hugged her as well while Kevin stayed seated, frowning at her. Her eyes landed on Kevin, looking at him thoughtfully. "Kevin," she said, her voice low quiet.

He gave her a forced smile.

She walked towards him. Ariadne had already filled her in in his condition and she had prepared herself to what she would face. Still, something told her it just hadn't been enough. "I hope these klutzes have told you who I am, but in the presumption they haven't, I'll tell you. I'm Claudia Graig. I used to be your voice coach until a couple of years ago."

"Oh," was his reaction as he remembered where he had heard that name before. He was sure Ariadne had told them about her.

"We haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah."

She nodded, reinforcing the guys' comments. "I know. Last time, you guys had just released I want it that way and it was barely for an hour. You guys had to take off to some interview or something."

"That sucked," Brian complained, walking over to the couch and sitting cross-legged. "I wish we could have chatted more."

She shrugged. "You know how it is."

"What is it that you do?"

Kevin's question took her by surprise, but it only lasted a second as she turned to look at him. "Well," she chose her words carefully, "when you sing, you have to make sure you sound your best. I just help you with that. I'm like your singing teacher."

Kevin nodded, understanding just a little bit more about it. "Is it easy?"

Tilting her head, she asked back, "what exactly?"

"Singing. Is it easy?"

"For some people no, but for you and the rest of the guys, it has always been natural. That's what makes you five so good. It flows."

Kevin nodded again. He wasn't sure he had it in him to sing. But he'd try.

Claudia blinked slowly, her eyes squinting just the slightest. Kneeling in front of him, taking Kevin and the rest of the guys by surprise, she moved her hand to his chin, holding Kevin's face between her thumb and middle finger.

Kevin's natural reaction would have been to back away, but something made him stay still, waiting for her, staring right into her dark brown eyes.

Her eyelashes fluttered closed and opened once again. She knew she was looking for something, she just wasn't sure what.

In all the years she had practiced with them, Claudia had always known if a particular song didn't fit with one of the guys by the way their eyes would give them away. If someone was to ask herexactly what that thing was, she wouldn't be able to pin point it. But it was there. It had always been there.

And as she looked into Kevin's sapphire green eyes, Claudia realized they were different. It was like the colors in a collage had changed just the slightest. She was sure many people would never know, but she did. The floor had cracked, but it was so imperceptible, that not even a needle would fit in there. But it had.

She saw it. It was plain visible for her. She was sure the guys saw it. How would they not, having worked and lived together for six years. And by what Ariadne had told Claudia, so had she.

Flashing a small smile to Kevin, standing up in one quick motion, acting like nothing had ever happened, Claudia turned around. "You've got two weeks here, right?"

Brian nodded. "Yep."

Her eyes twinkled, her facial expression changing. "Then we've got a lot of work to do."

*****

Wide green eyes blinked slowly at the white ceiling. His arms were crossed under his head as he gazed to the ceiling, his breathing relax.

After Claudia had left, having said many things Kevin didn't remember but was sure the guys would tell him when and if he needed to know, each one of them had gone their separate ways.

Is this how it always works? Kevin wondered repeatedly for the last half an hour. After the group has decided something, each one of us can do what we want? He didn't know. Perhaps, since that had been the way things had gone so far.

Before he could continue his pondering, a knock on his door made him sit down, his eyes darting to the entrance. He frowned. Another knock.

"Yeah?" Kevin asked tentatively.

"Can I come in?"

Kevin nodded, not recognizing the voice even though he knew he should. It was one of the guys. Then again, who else could be? "Sure."

It wasn't until the person entered the room that Kevin realized it was Howie, smiling at him. "Yeah?"

Walking towards the bed, sitting on the end of it, Howie looked at Kevin. "How you doing?"

"Fine."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

Howie let out a sigh, gazing at the comforter. He had wanted to come in and talk with Kevin, but as he sat before the older man, Howie wasn't sure it had been that good idea. He knew-- Wrong word. He guessed. He guessed Kevin was still lost when it came down to behavior. Howie thought that probably, if he talked with Kevin, he could help him. He just didn't know where to begin. And, if that wasn't enough, Kevin seemed so closed up sometimes. They would ask him something, and Kevin would barely answer with monosyllables.

Maybe it was Howie's imagination -- he hoped so -- but he thought that there were times where Kevin didn't feel comfortable with the rest of the group.

"Kevin," Howie started, "are you-- No." Lifting his eyes, he continued. "Why are you here?"

"I don't understand."

He stopped himself before sighing again. "Why are you here and not with us?"

"Where are you?"

"The guys and I were playing pool."

Kevin frowned. "Oh." He shrugged. "I'm fine here."

"Don't you like being with us?" That sounded so high school, it wasn't even funny. "Are you uncomfortable with us?" That too.

Kevin shook his head. "No, it's not that."

"Then?" He hoped he wasn't pushing it.

Thinking for a moment, Kevin answered. "I just wanted to be alone for a moment."

"Oh," Howie said. He hadn't thought about that. Giving him a reassuring smile, Howie stood up. "Then I'll leave you alone. If you want to join us, we're in the first floor, down the hall, the last door on your left."

Kevin nodded. "Thanks."

Turning around, Howie walked out the door. Closing it after him, he leaned against it. He felt so stupid. Kevin had every right to be alone if he wanted to. Shaking his head, Howie made his way to the entertainment room. He had told the guys he was going for a drink. Remembering that, he turned around and walked towards the kitchen. Better get that drink.

Kevin lay back on the bed after Howie had left. He hadn't lied. Kevin did want to stay alone for a while and think. He wasn't sure if he should, but that was what he wanted. Maybe later he'd join the guys. Right now, he just wanted to look at the ceiling.

His eyes focused on the white paint, Kevin didn't realize the time had passed until another knock on his door made his sit down again. "Yeah?"

This time it was Nick how peaked his head through the barely opened door. "Fatima is here."

Kevin nodded. "I'll be right down." He jumped off the bed, walking out the door and down the stairs where the rest of the guys stood all around a black woman.

Hearing the footsteps on the stairs, Fatima turned around, black eyes gazing at Kevin.

"Hey there Kevy-Kev."

Kevin frowned. That name sounded so weird. He recognized it was his name with a slight change. He didn't like it. "Hey."

In three strides, she was standing in front of Kevin and before he knew what was happening, she too slapped him upside the head. "Next time big guy," she said, "watch out where you go. That thick head of yours won't last forever."

She had talked herself out of mourning the lost of the old Kevin. There was no point on doing that. Kevin was alive, that was the only thing she should focus on. And so should the guys. And to do that, she had to treat him the way she would treat Kevin. She was trying.

Trying to smile, he bit his lower lip. "Okay."

"That being said," she turned around and looked at each one of the guys thoughtfully. "You all gotta get in shape. I see that I leave you for a couple of weeks and you're starting to lose consistence. And I don't even want to see how you've chopped my choreography."

"Oh Fatima--"

But Brian didn't have time to finish the sentence. "Nonsense. I know what I'm talking about." Brian just pouted, which caused Fatima to laugh. "You told me Claudia has taken the morning, right?" That, and Kevin's condition, had been what her and the guys had been talking just before Nick went to call him. How Kevin hadn't heard the doorbell, neither the guys nor Fatima knew.

AJ nodded. "Yeah. I knew she'd do that."

"Me too. That girl is so predictable." Before the guys would threaten her, she continued, "but don't you even *dare* tell her. Getting back to business, I think from one thirty to eight thirty should be enough. Claudia should let you guys off around noon. Enough time to have some lunch and get into gear. What ya say? Great." She checked her watch. "Oh, hell. Already nine. I knew I should have taken the three pm plain. Nevermind. I'll see you guys tomorrow then. Bright and early. And in sweats." Giving the guys one final smile, Fatima turned around and left before they could complain.

Howie chuckled. "That was easy."

Groaning, Nick whined. "Tomorrow it won't. My body hurts just by thinking about it."

"Then you shouldn't," Brian said wisely. "Lets have dinner and go to bed. Claudia said we should be at the studio by eight."

The guys nodded and followed Brian into the dinning room. Kevin stood in his place, still looking at the closed door after Fatima. She was weird.

"Kev!"

"Coming," he said, taking one final look at the door and following the guys for dinner.

*****

Reaching for the falling covers, Nick pulled them up as far as they could go, burrowing himself under them. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. After a moment, blue eyes fluttered open, gazing at the darkness in the room.

Laying down on his side, his eyes barely even focusing on the dresser placed on the room, Nick moved the pillow a little to the left, placing his head comfortably on it.

Not even staying in that position for a minute, Nick turned around once again, tossing in the bed until he laid on his right, moving the pillow along. Wondering if the time had actually ticked by, he lifted his head just enough to see the red numbers in the clock on the night table.

1.19 a.m. they read. Barely five minutes since the last time he had checked.

Sighing again, closing his eyes as he did so, he turned around once more, laying down on his back this time.

He had gone to bed around twelve something, after having dinner with the guys and playing a game of N64 with Brian in his room. He knew both him and Brian had been playing far more now than they used to when the tour was in full gear, but there was a reason behind this. Somehow, it cooled them both down. Whenever they played, they didn't have to think about Kevin not knowing them. They didn't have to think about the void they saw in Kevin's usual sparkling green eyes whenever they gazed at him.

Even after saying his goodnight to his friend, Nick had gotten to his room and set up his own Playstation and set himself to play for at least another hour. He didn't want to go to bed.

And now, laying down on his back, his eyes darting from one imaginary point on the ceiling to another, he still couldn't catch sleep.

He let out a frustrated sigh. It had been exactly like this the night before. He knew why he couldn't sleep. His mind was in overdrive, that was for sure. Why shouldn't it, having all the things to think about as he did. From the very idea of having to teach Kevin every song, accord and choreography of the actual tour to the incident two nights ago.

Nick shook his head. No wonder he couldn't shut his mind off. Whenever he was close to finding a blank room in his psyche, he reminded himself of the night he had spend.

It was inevitable. Sure. Unforgettable. Of course. But it shouldn't keep him from getting one decent night of sleep.

He could still hear his heartbeat racing in his chest. He could still hear his breathing becoming more irregular by the second. God, he could still feel Kevin's body heat next to his own.

And if the night hadn't been enough to haunt him for the rest of his days to come, then the morning should would do. When he had woken up, Kevin's body was tangled against his own. His arm, draped against Nick's own chest; Kevin's legs, intertwined with his. The continuous and warm breathing of his long time friend burning against his neck with each passing second.

He shook his head, gritting his teeth together tightly. Shit. He couldn't think about that. He knew if he started, then he probably wouldn't finish until the crack of dawn. He wouldn't let himself go down that road. He had barely gotten a couple of minutes of sleep last night ought to it, he wouldn't do that again.

Of course he could still feel Kevin by his side. And the moment he had woken up to find Kevin cuddled against his very own chest, Kevin's lips almost touching his check, Nick almost died in the spot as it felt like his heart had stopped functioning for the time being.

His heart soared every time he thought about it. He could almost feel the sensation burning in his chest, but he wouldn't let himself give into it. He was a grown up for Christ sake! He sure could control his own reactions and feelings. Right?

Right?

RIGHT?

When his mind, his conscience and his logic didn't answer him back, he knew the answer.

"Shit," the sound resonated in the room and Nick barely even recognized his own voice, it sounded so tired and dead at the same time.

Going along with what his body told him, turning around on his left side once again, he shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head out of reflex. His eyes burned and his throat closed up. Suddenly, his chest felt cold. Like his lungs had frozen with liquid nitrogen, very much like those videos he used to watch in his school or the ones you seem to be able to find in a lonely night watching Discovery Health. His lungs, his chest, his whole thorax felt fragile and breakable waiting to be crushed so it could shattered into a million unrecognizable pieces.

Forcing a breath in, he told himself he wouldn't think about it. Not today. Not now. Not with all the things he still had to go through, with the things placed before him to face. He wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Letting the breath out slowly but forcefully at the same time, he relaxed his eyes, settling himself for the night. There was nothing left for him to think about. And the things that were hanging on the thinnest threads in his mind weren't to be thought about at the moment.