"But guys--"

"No!" Alex took off his sunglasses, glaring at Mark. "I don't give a flying fuck about what you want, but we ain't telling the media."

"We gotta say something!"

Howie shook his head. "No we don't. This is personal Mark, ok? This is our friend's life we're talking about. This is Kevin damnit!"

"We've already canceled a show." Mark looked at the four singers, fuming at their intolerance. "We can't stay quiet for much longer. They are going to start asking question any minute now."

"I don't fucking care!" AJ walked over Mark and got in his face. "Do you even hear me? We're not saying anything!"

"AJ--"

AJ turned around and glared at Brian. "No! We're not telling the press. They'll have a field day over this and make it some kind of crusade of their own."

"We gotta say something guys," Mark said calmly. He sighed. He didn't want to use this card, but the situation was totally calling for it. "Do you actually think Kevin would let the media find out on their own and not have a press conference?"

"ARG!" AJ groaned as he turned around started shooting daggers at Mark. What in the world had made them hire this asshole? "Don't you even--"

"He's right Alex." Brian sighed. "We gotta do something. We can't keep avoiding things."

"Brian," Nick started, "what can we say? We agreed we couldn't let the media know about this." And they had. The last three days they had been in the hospital, the only thing they had actually talked about was what to do about the press. After a long and tiring conversation, they had agreed on not telling the press. The last thing Kevin would have wanted was seeing his life in the papers over an incident like that.

That and the fact that the guys didn't know if they could handle losing Kevin while the media was making a circus out of it. Three days they had talked about it. Three days they had almost been living at the hospital. Three days Kevin hadn't woken up.

"I don't know. We can say something, just not the truth."

"Like what?" Mark looked at them tiredly. "What do you want to say? I'm open for ideas."

AJ only glared at their Manager. Of course he had to be a suit. He had barely known Kevin, only caring about their account in the Firm's offices. Still, how could a man be so cold was beyond Alex's understanding. All he cared at the moment was not having to talk with the press about Kevin's condition. He didn't know if he could handle talking about it.

"We can say he was robbed and was injured, but he's doing fine." Howie shrugged when his three bandmates turned around to look at him. "I don't know. We just can't totally lie, can we?"

Brian rubbed his face. When had it been the last time he had had five hours of sleep in a row, he didn't remember. "You're right. We'll just tell them he's injured and he's doing fine."

"He isn't Brian. He's in critical condition and we don't--"

Mark didn't get to finish his sentence as Nick had him pressed against the wall, his hands on the older man's throat, barely letting him breath. "You say another word about Kevin's condition and I swear to god I won't think twice about my actions." Eyebrows frowning, eyes darkening and tone lowering, Nick looked older and much more serious than Mark -- than the guys -- had ever seen him in his life. "Kevin is going to make it, do you hear me?"

He nodded slowly, not actually believing he was afraid of a twenty-one year old.

Nick let him go, glaring at him all the while. "Don't say another fucking word."

Brian sighed softly. For a moment there he was sure Nick would hit Mark, not that he hadn't wanted to do the same thing for the past couple of days. It just wasn't in Nick's character. He hadn't even known his best friend would be able to do something like this. He hadn't known until now.

"We'll say that then," AJ spoke after a minute. "You get the media together for a press conference and we'll be there." He still didn't know how in the world he'd be able to pull that off, but he would. For the sake of the group, and Kevin's especially, he would.

Mark looked at the four friends. He understood that they were taking this rather hard, being as close to Kevin as they were, but still there were other things to worry about. He nodded and, before the kid could think of something else to do, he left.

"Maybe we should call his mother," Howie said after a minute of silence. The four of them looked at each other and Howie only shrugged.

That was the other reason they had been arguing about. Howie and Nick thought they should call Kevin's family, Brian and AJ kept refusing.

"Howie--"

"Just one call Brian. Don't you think they at least deserve to know Kevin has been hurt?"

"They could have called us, you know?" AJ looked at Howie seriously. "If they cared for him, they could have called us."

"I'm not doing that call."

"Then I will." Nick run his fingers through his hair. "If you don't want to call them B, then I will."

Brian stared at his friend for almost a minute before sighing. "Fine, but it won't mean anything." He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number. It was in the third ringing that they answered. "Aunt Ann? This is Brian, I was calling to... yeah, of course..." He sighed. "He's my cousin, aunt, I love him. I won't turn my back on him... no, I don't care about it... well, the Bible also says that you should love your son... he's your son, that should be enough for you!... that doesn't mean... it means nothing aunt, nothing! You shouldn't care about who he loves... No! You are gonna go to hell for saying those things and I don't--" Brian stopped short, closing his eyes shut. She had hanged up on him.

He placed his phone back in his pocket and looked at his friend. Brian knew they had a general idea of how the phone call had gone. "I told you Nick, it wouldn't matter. They just don't care."

Nick sighed as well, burring his face in his hands. Brian hadn't even been able to tell Ann his son was hurt. She hadn't even given him the time to say so. For the past two years, it had been like this. Ann and both Kevin's brothers had barely spoken five words to them, let alone to Kevin. Somehow, Nick had believed Ann would worry about his son's health. Guess I was wrong, Nick thought sourly. Guess I was wrong.

*****

The four singers entered the doctor's office as the man closed the door behind himself. It was late in the afternoon, the sun setting through the window. Mark had called Brian about an hour after their conversation. The press conference had been scheduled for the next morning. Brian had been surprised at the rapidity with which Mark had pulled that off, but he knew the man was worried about the media consequences.

"Dr. Fowler?" Howie asked as he took a seat in front of the doctor's desk. "You called us here and we were--"

"I need to talk with you guys." The doctor looked at the four men. Over the past three days they had been nothing but worried about his friend and he didn't want to say what he was about to tell them. "I've been going over Kevin's tests and..."

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" Brian frowned. "Something's wrong."

The man nodded. "Yeah, something's wrong. He's been lucky so far, but we're worried about his unconscious state. We fear... we fear there might be some brain damage."

"What?"

Dr. Fowler sighed at AJ's question. "We were able to remove the bullet from Kevin's skull with the minimum amount of damage, but there's always some risk. We were hoping he would wake up within the next 48 hours, but it hasn't happened. After this time, we're fearing they might be brain damage."

"What..." Brian gulped. Suddenly, he couldn't breath. "What kind of damage?"

"We're not sure. It could influence his speech capability, balance or hearing. It could have memory consequences or movement repercussions. We won't know for sure until he wakes up."

Brian looked down at his folded hands. Brain damage... speech, balance... hearing... movement... it could be anything at all. Kevin could have so many problems when he woke up. Brian shook his head. He couldn't think like that. He had to believe Kevin was going to be just fine the moment he opened his eyes. Kevin would be fine and shouting at them for not holding the press conference before. He had to believe that, because if not, Brian didn't know what he'd do.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you more," the doctor sighed softly. He had always hated giving this kind of news. "I'm sorry."

"Is there..." Howie paused, trying to get his bearing right. "Is there anything we can do? I mean, can something be done."

The doctor shook his head. "Not now. Not until we know for sure what's wrong with him. I'm sorry."

"Thanks," Howie stood up and shook the doctor's hands. He motioned for the rest to leave the room and walked over to the waiting room.

"Brain damage..." AJ muttered under his breath. He lifted his eyes and looked at the disturbed forms of his friends. "Brain damage."

"We heard Alex," Nick snapped. "We don't need you repeating it."

"Damn it Nick, I was just saying--"

"We know what you're saying AJ, we're just all worried about it." Brian rubbed his eyebrow. "We're just worried and tired."

"What do we do?"

"There's nothing we can do Howie." Nick sighed loudly, sitting on a nearby chair. "Nothing. We just have to wait until Kevin wakes up and see if he's alright."

"He's gotta be alright." AJ said, but the guys didn't know if he was talking to himself or the rest of the group. "He's gotta be alright."

Nick nodded, barely moving his head. AJ was right. Kevin had be alright after this. He just had to. Nick didn't want to consider the other possibility. He was afraid to think about it, he didn't know if he could handle it without losing what little sanity he had left.

*****

Nick stayed over that night while the guys went to the hotel. Usually two of them stayed through the night, but Nick had convinced them to sleep the whole night. He had said he was fine and he'd go over to the hotel the next night. He didn't know if he would, all Nick knew was that he needed this night to spend it with Kevin.

He sat on the chair that had been placed by Kevin's bedside. Taking Kevin's hands in his, Nick started looking at the long slender fingers. He could remember hearing Kevin playing the keyboards barely a week before. They had been in Kevin's room just hanging around. It was always like that. It didn't matter what the five of them were doing as long as they were all in one room. Brian and Nick were playing a game on the Nintendo Nick had set up in Kevin's room. AJ was reading a magazine and Howie was going through some of his charity information. Kevin was sitting on the bed against the headboard, his legs curled under him, playing the keyboards. Nick couldn't remember what the older man was playing for the life of him, but he knew it had to be amazing. Whatever chord came from Kevin's fingers was always beautiful.

Caressing the inside of Kevin's palm, Nick bit his lip. Kevin's hands were cold. Kevin's hands were never cold. Even in winter, during the holidays they had spend in Kevin's or Brian's house in Lexington and the other three had been freezing to death, Kevin's hands had always been warm. Nick had always attributed it to the fact that Kevin was used to the low temperatures, having been raised in a southern state. Still, now, Kevin's hands were just freezing. Nick covered Kevin's hand in both of his, hoping to give him some human warm. Nick didn't know if it'd work, but was willing to try.

He lifted his eyes to Kevin's face. Kevin's hair was so very short. Shorter than Nick had ever seen him. They had to cut Kevin's hair for surgery, Nick knew that, but it didn't stop to surprise him seeing Kevin with no hair. He had been letting it grow. It was already passed his ears. Nick didn't think it looked bad on Kevin. On the other hand, it looked rather appealing. It gave Kevin an aura of mystery and maturity his short spiky hair had lack of. It just seemed to fit him better.

Kevin's eyes were close, as they had been for the past three days. Three days of seeing Kevin's pale and haggard face resting on the hospital pillow and fearing he would never see Kevin's emerald eyes again. What if Nick never got to see his eyes? What if he never got to hear Kevin's voice? What if he never heard him playing "Adagio" on the keyboards again? What if this was it, seeing his friend on the bed, dying slowly?

Nick shook his head. He couldn't think like that. Kevin was going to make it. If only for the fact that Kevin had promised Nick to go horse back riding the next vacations they had coming up. The blond had never actually learned how to ride a horse and Kevin had promised to teach him. He had promised and in the eight years Nick new Kevin, he had never broken a promise.

Kevin had to be fine. He had to wake up and be just fine, because Nick couldn't think of a way to live without him.

Leaning over, his face only inches away from Kevin's own face, he whispered in Kevin's ear, "you're going to be ok. You're going to. You have to. You've always told us not to give up, so you can't quit on us. I won't let you. I'll fight with you every step of the way if I have to Kevin, but you're not giving up on me."

Nick pressed his palm against his mouth, trying to choke back the sobs. Tears were already running down his face for the first time since all this had happened. "I won't let you give up on me Kevin. I won't let you."

Shutting his eyes close, Nick bit his lower lip. "You can't die Kevin. Please, you can't leave me."