AJ's statement took them out of the lifeless lapse of time continuance they had seemed to fall under.

"Alex, you--"

But Howie didn't get to finish his sentence, AJ interrupted him right in, shaking his head impatiently. "A Coke Howie. A coke. I'm not gonna have a drink, ok? I know that." Not waiting for anyone else to tell him to take things easy, that he had been sober for 73 days and that was a huge achievement in itself. He didn't need to hear that. He knew that already. He knew that and he kept repeating it every single day just to be able to be reach the sunset without having tasted a single drop of alcohol.

Howie sighed softly, watching AJ's retreating form. He knew Alex wouldn't drink, but the ever present concern in the back of his mind had forced him to answer back. He shook his head. They had already faced that contingency, now they just had to face this one.

"We have to pack," Nick said just as AJ entered the room once again. He had no idea what had forced him to say that, but under the very uncomfortable silence they had fell once again, saying anything seemed like the right way to go. "It's already... six thirty. We've got a little bit over two hours to get ready."

"We'll help you pack," Brian stated, smiling softly at Kevin. "Nick and I can help you. We've got all we'll need here, so there shouldn't be any problem."

Kevin nodded. "I don't need to bring anything else, do I?"

Howie shook his head. "No. We've got everything here. You shouldn't worry."

"It's going to be great to be away from all the chaos of the city for at least two weeks." Brian sighed peacefully, letting the air leave his lungs slowly. "Leighanne is gonna join us for a couple of days. I told you about Leighanne. Do you remember Kevin? I showed you a couple of pictures of her earlier this morning. My wife."

Kevin squinted his eyes in deep concentration. He remember seeing a couple of pictures of a blond woman by Brian's side. He didn't remember the name correctly, but if Brian said her name was Leighanne... "Yeah, your wife." His eyes moved over to Brian's left hand, his gold wedding band shinning brightly. "Am I married?"

Kevin's question took the whole gang by surprise.

"What?" AJ asked, his brown eyes wide.

"Am I married?"

The guys looked at each other. That was something else they just hadn't thought how to approach. Guess it wasn't that difficult after Kevin himself had touched the subject.

"No," Brian said, "you aren't married. You haven't dated anyone seriously in about a year and a half." That wasn't a complete lie, Brian told himself. He just hadn't said the complete truth either.

"Oh." Kevin stayed quiet for a moment, thinking it through.

He didn't have a wife. He didn't have a girlfriend and he hadn't for a year and a half. Was that suppose to mean something? Was he a bad person? Was he so bad no one wanted to date him?

AJ sighed. When they had talked about this, neither of them knew just how difficult it'd be. Brian, at least, had said something. Now it was his turn to finish the truth.

"You didn't have a girlfriend," AJ started, looking at each one of his friend before letting his eyes fall on Kevin once again, "because you're gay."

"What?"

"We didn't know how to tell you this," Nick hurried himself to complete, "and I think there just isn't any good way to say something like this. I mean, we didn't even know how to bring it up. You... you were gay."

Kevin frowned. "Gay?"

Nick nodded.

Brian looked at Kevin, really looked, for a moment. Could he... "Do you know what being gay is?"

Kevin's gaze landed on Brian before shaking his head. "Not really."

"Shit," AJ hissed under his breath.

Brian looked at Nick, then at Howie. "Kevin, do you remember when I told you about having a girlfriend?" He waited for Kevin to nod. Brian had explained a little bit about loving someone and being with that someone. He had forgotten about homosexuality. "Remember I told you that when you really like someone, you are with them? Like Leighanne and me?" Kevin nodded again. "Well, it's very much like it. Sometimes, girls like other girls very much and boys like other boys as well." God, he felt like he was explaining the birds and the bees to a five year old. Brian closed his eyes. He was doing the best for Kevin; he had to keep telling himself. He was just doing what he was supposed to. "That's the definition of being gay."

"And I was gay?" This time it was Kevin who waited for Brian to nod. "I liked other men?"

"That was one of the reasons you didn't date much," AJ said, taking a sip of his Sprite. It wasn't as good as JD, but it'd have to do for the rest of his life. "You always said it was far too risky for the group."

"How?"

"Well, homosexuality still isn't well seen in society." Nick explained.

Kevin frowned. "But, if you say that sometimes it just happens, then why is it wrong?"

"That's the 64 million dollar question." At Kevin's puzzled face, Howie continued, "we don't know Kev. We... Society thinks that it's wrong. It's the normal," Howie said with quote marks, "thing boys like girls and viceversa. When something gets out of that rule, when the boundaries are stretched, it's when people just don't like it."

"If it had gotten out that you were gay," Nick paused for a moment. "It just... it wouldn't have been all good. Most of our fans, people who like us and buy our records, are girls. Teenage girls at that. It just wouldn't have been good."

Brian took Kevin's hand in his, giving his older cousin a sour smile. "That's why you kept it quiet. That's why we all kept it quiet."

"No one knew I was gay?"

AJ shook his head. "Not that many. Besides us, you told Ariadne, Mark and two more executives at the Firm. You thought that they deserved to know what they'd be against if it ever got out, but at the same time it didn't meant they'll have any control over your life. You didn't date not because they told you not to, but because you didn't want to. Still, having decided that, they didn't have any reason to talk with you about it."

Brian stayed quiet. There were only a bunch more of people who knew. Kevin had decided to tell them right after he told the guys. Brian never really understood the reasons behind telling the guys first and the family second. He never really asked Kevin about it either. He thought that Kevin just wanted to see where his brothers stood when it came down to his own persona. Him and the guys had always talked about being behind everyone's back when the time came. Kevin, and AJ later on, put that on test and the guys were proud to say they passed with flying colors.

The next time the guys had more than just an afternoon off, Brian and Kevin had flown to Lexington and Kevin told them.

Brian shut his eyes tight. He could still hear the screams, the names, the yelling and cursing. He could still hear plates being thrown against the wall, very movie like. He could hear pleading and begging. He could hear ultimatums and condemnations. And finally, he could hear the tears falling onto the dark floor as the door was slammed.

"You told the family."

He opened his eyes slowly, blue eyes meeting green ones. "You told our family."

Kevin sat there, expectant, waiting for Brian to articulate. He had told his family -- their family. Had they thought it was bad too? Had they acted like the guys believed the industry would if it ever came up?

"You told your mom and your brothers. Then, you told my parents and my brother."

When a minute had passed and Brian was still quiet, his eyes having moved towards their joined hands, Kevin spoke up. "What did they say?"

Feeling tears burning in the back of his eyes, Brian closed them once again. The four of them had talked about this. Why force Kevin to face that pain once again? Why make him suffer? He had gone through enough that time. He had been shattered by his family's reaction enough. Why do it again? The last thing the guys could do was spare him that pain.

And that was Brian's plan.

"They didn't care too much about it," Brian said, giving Kevin a small smile. "They said you were still the same Kevin, that who you love didn't change who you were. They said they'll always love you, no matter what."

Kevin grinned from ear to ear. His family hadn't reacted badly. His family still loved him. Kevin frowned for a second. If his family was fine with it, then why wasn't it there?

"Where are they?" Kevin rubbed his left eyebrow. "You have all been here all this time. You..." he turned around, looking at Nick, then at AJ and Howie. "You said you were waiting for me to wake up, that you staid by my bed all this time. Where were they? Where are they?"

Brian placed a fake smile on his lips. He was lucky Kevin couldn't recognize his fake smile. Not yet, at least.

"They... we told them right after we found out about it. I called aunt Ann -- your mother -- and told her." He paused for a second before going on with the deceiving. "She was more than worried about you. She wanted to come, but she's handling the land in Kentucky and couldn't leave. She sends her love." Brian gave Kevin another smile as Kevin looked at him with contempt eyes. "When you woke up, she was so relieved. Your brothers wanted to come, but their work wouldn't let them take time off." He paused again. "They wanted to make sure you were alright."

"They wanted to come?"

Brian nodded. "Yes. Of course."

Brian had to bit the inside of his lip not to cry. He had never lied so much in so little time. He kept telling himself that it was for Kevin's own sake, otherwise he would have just asked for his cousin's forgiveness right there and then. It was for Kevin's sake. That was more than obvious.

"It's getting late," Howie stated before Kevin could ask anything else about his family. He had been close to stopping Brian in the tale, but he knew it was already too late to back up. They had discussed about this long enough and it had been so hard to come to one conclusion. Kevin had suffered enough. They could stop it this time. That had been the only thing leading the four of them to a decision.

Howie checked his watch. "It's seven fifteen and we still gotta get packed."

Nick nodded absently. "Brian and I will help Kevin," he said, giving Brian a meaningful glance as the older man nodded at him.

"D and will get going then," AJ placed his shades on, waiting for Howie to get moving.

"Can we help you with your packing?," Howie started, "You two probably won't have time to do it."

"Nah," Brian said, "I can do it later on." And he most certainly would. That would take his mind of everything and probably get him so very tired, he would probably fall asleep right away, not having to torture himself about deceiving his own cousin.

"Thanks," Nick smiled, "but I don't have much unpacked anyway."

Howie and AJ nodded, leaving the room. They heard the footsteps and the door opening, barely a second later the door closing.

Kevin stood up. "We gotta pack?"

Brian nodded. "Yeah. Tomorrow morning will be cutting it short."