Right now I just wanted to sleep as much as I could and knowing Kate, she was probably in her bed dead to the world.

I finally settle to wake up already, so I stood up, made my way to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. Then changed into something nice, just blue jeans, a gray long sleeves shirt and my sneakers.

Walking towards her room, I opened up the door. I was right, she was comatose in her bed. I laid down and cuddle up with her. She turned in her sleep and hugged me tight. I don't know when, but I fall asleep again.

I really didn't want to wake up, I had a rough week and staying in my bed, or Kate's bed, all day long was a good idea. However my dear friend didn't share my thoughts, coz I could feel the back of her hand rubbing my cheek.

"Sweetie."

I didn't move. Maybe if I stay very still she would think I'm asleep.

"Honey." she said again, still rubbing my cheek.

I so wanted to stay there and just sleep.

"Darlin'" she said a little bit louder.

Nothing.

"MAC!"

"WHAT!?"

"I knew you were awake!" Turning around she propped up in one elbow so she could looked at me.

I did the same, so we could look at each other. "Of course I was awake!, but I just didn't wanna leave your bed! We really have to leave?" I asked with my best puppy dog eyes.

She couldn't help but smile at my antics. "We can stay if ya want, but don't we have that BBQ of you to go? It's at three, right?"

"Yeah, what time is it?" Sighing I laid down on the bed. For a moment skipping the BBQ didn't seemed such a bad idea.

"One thirty."

With a startle I sat down and looked at her. "You've got to be kidding, right? It can't be that late!"

She sat at well, then stood up and tower over me. She loved doing that, knowing the only time she's able to tower over me is when I'm sitting and she's standing. "Sorry hon', but it's 1.30pm. It was 11am when you came here. You sleep two more hours."

"Ok, I'm going. Are you ready yet? I'm already change." Grabbing the tv control from her nightstand, I turned it on and started surfing through channels.

"Nope. I gotta shower and change." Smiling once more, she left for the bathroom.

After almost half and hour she got out of the bathroom, a towel around her body and another one in her hair. I was still there watching tv. She looked in her chest drawer for something comfortable to wear, after taking out what she was looking for, she laid them on the bed that I had made while she was on the shower then dropped the towel that she had around her chest and started dressing. I wasn't uncomfortable for her changing with me there, neither was she, after 13 years of friendship, we've seen each other without clothes and helped each other changed when was needed.

When she finished changing, I turned off the tv and we made our way towards the kitchen in the first floor. Neither of us were into coffee. She poured herself some oj while I drank some yogurt, we had some toasts and eggs, after 20 minutes we were done.

"So, where does this Nick lives?" she asked me as we made our way towards the garage.

"I don't really remember, I've got the address on the car. Don't ya think we should take something?" I didn't want to arrive empty handed.

She looked at me and shrugged. "Sure, if ya wanna. Like what?"

"I dunno, what about... hmm... a chocolate cake? Everyone loves chocolate cakes, right?"

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea." She opened the passenger door with her key, since we both had the keys for each other's cars, and sat down.

"This is the addy." Picking up the sheet of paper, I gave it to her.

With that we made our way towards the bakery, then to the house.

*****

"So B, is Kev gonna come?" asked a worried AJ while having a drink from his coke.

Brian had arrived on time, as usual, it was 2.30, and they guys had already started asking him questions regarding Kevin... and he just didn't know what to tell them!, and to his surprise, all the guys had been there even before him!.

"Yeah Bone, he told me he was coming... maybe he is just running late" he knew it was a lame excuse, since Kevin had never been late on his live, but he didn't know what else to tell them.

"Oh" was AJ's response.

Brian decided to take the chance and walked over to the pool, sitting by the edge, his feet on the water.

AJ, Nick and Howie were over the grill, helping they younger one with the stakes, being Brian off hearing shot, they decided to resume their conversation that had been interrupted by Brian arriving.

"Do you really think he's gonna come?"

"I dunno D, I so hope!, I mean I've never seen Kevin being so... out of it!" said Nick with a worried tone.

"I know what ya mean Nick, but, even if he comes, and he doesn't wanna talk to us about whatever it is that's bothering him, what else can we do, right?" asked AJ, looking at his two friends, so were as lost as he was.

They just looked at each other, knowing that it was true.

*****

It was 3.10 when Kevin arrived at Nick's place, they usually gathered around 2.30pm, he had always been on time, but not today, he hadn't wanted to arrive early, knowing that they'd have more opportunities to interrogate him, he knocked softly, not really wanting to come in.

The door opened by AJ, who, to Kevin's surprised, hugged him very tightly, when he finally released the older man, he looked over to his green eyes, they weren't as dark as they were when he had yelled at them, but they weren't as clear as usual either, but it was a start.

"It's so good to see you came Kev, we were missing you" said AJ, letting the taller man inside the house.

"Brian told me about the BBQ, I couldn't miss it" said Kevin, hating to have to lie to his friend, but he'd been so afraid of he was gonna find when he arrived, specially after yelling at them, he'd been about to walk away from the door as he was about to knocked.

Both men made their way towards the patio, where the remaining members where longing off.

"Look who I found at the door!" said AJ towards the guys.

At this, Nick and Howie, who had been talking quietly, still worried about Kevin, stood up making their way towards the older man, both hugging them tightly, like they hadn't seen him in years!.

"We're so sorry Kev" said Nick, still hugging his 'older brother' tightly.

Kevin thought he had heard wrong, why would Nick be sorry? 'it was my fault, all my fault, not his!' his mind told him.

Howie let go of Kevin, letting Nick hug him even more tightly, he could see that Nick was crying softly, knowing that nothing could hurt him more than knowing they had upset his older brother.

Kevin made Nick looked at him with his hand, he could see tears on the younger boy's blue eyes, which hurt him deeply, he'd do anything for his 'children' not to be hurt, as he thought of the guys tenderly.

"It's not your fault Nicky, it was mine, I shouldn't have yelled at you, or the guys" said still looking at the younger boy.

"No Kev, Nick's right, it was our fault, we should have known that it was just too much for you, we should have taken responsibility of our duties, not leaving everything on your shoulders" said Howie, talking for the first time since he had arrived.

Kevin looked at the rest of the guys, from Howie, to AJ, then to Nick, who was still hugging him like his live depended on it!, making it a little bit difficult for him to breath. They didn't know why he had reacted like that, they thought it had been for all the stuff for the tour! 'they couldn't be more wrong' thought Kevin 'I'd take all those responsibilities a thousand times again if it could take the pain away' thought sadly.

He closed his eyes for a moment, needing time to think about what he was gonna say, he couldn't tell the guys the truth, but he didn't want to lie to them either. After thinking for a moment, he opened them again and looked at his 'brothers'.

"Guys, it wasn't because you hadn't been to the meetings, it wasn't your fault, I had been worried about this tour for a while already, I want this tour to be the best ever!, and I just had to many things in my mind, and when you guys couldn't endure the stuff I was trying to tell you, well, it was just the last of it, I shouldn't have taken it off you guys, and I'm sorry for that" said Kev, then he looked down at the boy still hugging him "It was not your fault Nicky, don't feel bad about it, k?" he said in a soothing tone, the one he'd use when the boy was either scared or sick.

"Still, Kev, we've learned that we have to be more into the management stuff, it may be tough for us at the beginning, but we'll learn at some point, we want you to enjoy the tour as much as we do, not just worrying about what we have to do. K?" said AJ.

"Thanks for your thoughts guys, but I know you guys enough that you'll get lost after one day without me telling you where you have to go, it's ok, really. After this days off everything, just relaxing a little bit, I'm back to the old me, you've got nothing to worry about" said Kevin smiling. He notice Brian looking at him from the pool, knowing that he had done anything but relaxing... still, he knew his younger cousin'd never say a word about it.

"Are you sure Boo?" asked Nicky with a childish voice, it had been long enough since the last time he had heard either him or other of the guys calling him Boo.

"I'm sure Nicky." said smiling a the kid, even though he was 20, he could still act like he was 13.

Finally Nick sniff a little bit, he had stopped crying a little bit ago, when he had heard Kevin say that he was fine, that he was back to his old self; slowly, he let go of the older man, smiled a toothy smiled at him, before saying. "If you're sure Kev, and everything is back to how's its supposed to be" he stopped for a moment, waiting for Kevin to nod, then continue "then I think I may just checked the stakes, I know you guys are starving!" said Nicky with a laugh.

Nick looked again at the guys, who were smiling, but, before going over to the grill, he gave Kevin one quick hug, then left to check on the stakes. Howie followed him, so he could make sure Nick was doing it right, since he sucked at cooking, being Howie the best out of them all, follow closely by Kevin.

AJ excuse himself and went to the kitchen for some cokes for the guys, leaving Brian and Kevin on the patio.

Kevin walked over to were Brian was, next to the pool, sitting by the end of it. He sat himself.

"You didn't know about this, did you?" asked Kevin.

"Nope, they had been talking pretty secretively by the time I got here, they must have been talking about it, but I didn't know they felt guilty about what had happened" said Brian quietly, not wanting Howie or Nick to hear him.

"It's not their fault" said Kevin looking at the pool.

"Then who is it Kev?, it's not yours either" he said trying to look at Kevin.

Kevin just sigh, he couldn't deal with that here... not here with the guys.

*****

Finally, we were there! It had taken us a good 20 minutes to choose the cake, then 40 minutes to arrived at the house. It was 3.35 and I was afraid that we were late. We walked over to the door, Kate had the cake, so I knocked.

I could hear someone yelling 'I'll get it' from the inside, then, suddenly, the door burst open.

There stood a weird looking guy, he had brown hair, but the tips were red, he had shades on, even though he'd been in the house, he wasn't that tall, looked like a little bit shorter than me, and I truly couldn't read his expression, but from the looks of his eyebrows, he didn't like me at all...

"Who are you?" he asked pretty rudely.

I looked over Kate, who smiled in response, she knew that her smile usually calmed me down enough to be civil.

"I'm Matt, friend of Nick's, he invited me over" I said looking directly at him, I though he ought to be one of Nick's friends and I truly didn't wanna be on his bad side from day one.

"Yeah, right! Just leave, k?" he said, as he was about to close the door.

I put my feet to stop him. "Could you just call him?" I so didn't want to get mad!.

As he was about to say something, Nick came from the house towards the door. "Who is it J?"

"No one Nick, they were just leaving." the weird looking guy said as he looked at me.

I was about to say something, when Nick realized it was me. "Matt!, it's good to see you here." He opened the door, which, of course, made the weird looking guy to looked at him with a questioning look. "He's cool J, really" Nick answered looking at him, then at me. "Come on in."

Kate and I came into the house, I took the cake from Kate and gave it to Nick "We brought this, for dessert, ya know."

"Thanks. This must be your friend, right?"

"Yeah, Nick, this is Kate, Kate, Nick."

Nick looked over at his friend and then at me. "Sorry, where are my manners! Matt, this is AJ, AJ, Matt, and his friend Kate."

AJ and I shook hands, not very warmly, then he extended his hand over Kate, who just nodded. I knew she got like this when she was mad at someone, trying to be as polite as possible, but without physical contact.

We followed Nick over to the back of the house, he stopped at the kitchen a minute to leave the cake in the freezer, then we made our way towards the end of the house. He had a huge yard with a pool as well. There were three more guys, two of them were talking kinda quietly by the pool, one of them seem truly tall, with dark hair, the other one, shorter, with kinda blond dirty hair; the other one was over the grill, he was shorter than me as well, with curly hair.

"Guys!" Nick said as we go there "I want you to meet a friend of mine, Matt, and his friend, Kate. I invited them over."

The three of them walked towards us, so Nick did the proper introductions.

"Ok, they are Howie." said pointing at the one with the curly hair, we shook hands. "Brian." was the one with the dirty blond hair, he was nice blue eyes as well, we shook hands too. "And Kevin." said pointing at the taller one, he had almost black hair and the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. I extended my hand to shake his, but he just nodded, so I nodded as well.

Nick noticed that, he didn't know what was that all about. Kevin had never been rude. 'Maybe it's because he's still a stranger in his eyes, he's gotten pretty paranoid this last year.'

The guys shook Kate's hand as well, Kevin nodding to her too, there was something... striking about him... his green eyes looked... somber?... but why?... hmmm...

"Ok, I'll go check on the stakes" said Nick, but was cut off by Howie.

"Yeah, right! Like you'd know when they are done." Joked Howie. Looking towards Kate and me, he asked. "How do you like your stakes?"

"Medium done" I said for both of us, I knew exactly how Kate liked it.

He nodded and walked towards the grill again.

Nick took us over to the pool, by the lounging chairs, where we sat with... Brian and AJ, I think their names were...

"You friend of Nick?" asked Brian.

"Yeah, we met in the store." I said looking at him and then at Nick, he nodded at me, understanding that I didn't want to say that I was looking for a game, coz Kate'd know it was going to be her present.

"You shopping Nicky, now that's new!" joked AJ, he seemed to be a little bit more relax.

"What do you do?"

"We're in college right now." She was feeling out of place, I could tell by the tone on her voice.

"Cool, what ya studying?"

Kate answered again. "Well, I'm studying civil Engineering and Matt medicine, we're both in 2nd year."

"WOW!, that must be kinda tough, right?" continue Brian.

Kate and I looked at each other. "More than you know!" we said in unison.

That got a laugh from the rest of the guys. I looked at Kate. "Yeah, there are times when you just start asking yourself 'why am I studying this?' But when you look down the road and realize that in 5 years, or 10 in my case, you'll get a college degree. Well, you kinda see that it's for the best. Every day in college is worth it, every book you read, every afternoon at someone's place for a project, every sleepless night is worth it. Because at the end you'll be what you want, you'd have achieve something that not everyone does."

Kate and I looked our gazes for a moment, then smiled to ourselves. Sometimes just the idea of finishing college what the only thing that held us together... save.

The guys were looking at us... like... suspecting something?... I don't know, I just couldn't tell, I didn't know them that well.

Brian sighed. "Yeah, I know what you mean." As I was about to asked what he meant by that, AJ started joking and then I just forgot about it.

About 15 minutes later, and A LOT of laughter, Howie called out to us. "Food's ready!"

What I saw, was really amazing. Brian, AJ and Nick run towards the grill like devil was after them! Kate and I sat there, our mouths hanging open. About a minute later Howie came towards us with three plates. He gave one to Kate, the other one to me then sat next to us.

"Thought it'd be better if I picked up your plates, so the herd wouldn't get a catch on your stakes."

Kate let out a small laugh. "Are they always like that? Like they haven't eaten in a year?"

That got us the three of us to chuckle. Howie looked over to the guys, who were still making their plates with anything they could get their hands on. "Kevin tried to teach them manners, but I guess that only works when he's watching them."

Kate and I nodded, not really understanding his comment, maybe an inside joke I thought.

A couple of minutes later, the guys arrived and sat around us, we started talking about everything and nothing... told Howie about college and stuff like that...

An hour later, we were chatting like we were old school friends. They were really easy to get along and AJ got comfortable around us. I think maybe he was just worried about us coming, specially since it looked like Nick hadn't told them that we were gonna arrive.

As I looked around, I could see that almost everyone was there. Keyword: almost. I couldn't see one of them... I didn't remember his name... As I tried to remember, I kept glancing around the yard. The moment I saw him, his name came to mind. He was the one with the piercing green eyes. He was sitting next to the door that let to the kitchen, all alone, about 50 feet from where we were.

I don't know what made me do what I did in that moment. I stood up and excuse myself from the guys, they just nodded, although Kate looked at me with a puzzle expression. I just smiled at her, reassuring her that everything was fine.

I walked towards Kevin, I didn't want him to feel like the odd man out, specially when he was an old friend, while Kate and I, new comers. As I approached him, I got a chair that was in my way and took it over where he was sitting. I put it next to his and sat there. I don't think he realized that I was there, coz he just kept looking at his plate, which hadn't even been touched.

I looked over at him, waiting for him to acknowledge my presence, but since it looked as if it wasn't gonna happen, I decided to be blunt and make the first move. "Hi."

He seemed a little bit startle. Looking up, he realized it was me. He looked down to my eyes... like he was looking for something... he then just looked at his plate again.

Why was he acting like that towards me? It was not as if he knew me!... still, I wasn't gonna let this out without a fight.

"Why are you all alone here? The guys were chatting over the pool." I know! It wasn't the brightest thing to say, but it was the first thing that came to my mind.

"I'm fine." he said, barely above a whisper.

"Are you really?" I asked back. "Coz you don't look like you're fine, specially sitting here all by yourself."

He sighed, he didn't looked at me, but I could see that he left his fork in his plate. I guess he was probably tired of picking at his food.

"There's nothing to talk about." Lifting his gaze, he looked at me.

I smiled at him, at least he was looking at me. That was something. "Ok, then we'll not talk about 'what's not to talk about'. Let's talk about something else, what ya say?"

He looked around the yard, the rest of the guys, and Kate, where chatting amicability by the pool, not even realizing that we were there... or maybe they DID realized, and they just let us be.

"You're name is Matt, right?" I could still feel that he wasn't so comfortable around me, at least I was gonna try to make him open up a little bit.

"Yep, I'm Matt... actually it's Matthew, but that sound like so old. I like Matt better." Trying to make him feel at ease with me, I smiled.

"How old are you?" he asked with a quizzical look.

"How old do you think I am?"

He looked at me intensely, thoughtfully. "You looked 21, but I'm sure you're not, you're younger... 19 maybe."

"Close enough. I'm 18."

"Really? You look a lot older."

"Yeah, I've been told that. At least you just put me 21. I've been told I was 27. 27 for Christ sake! I'm not that old." I said in a hurtful tone, but with enough laughter in my voice for him to know that I was just kidding.

He grinned at me, trying to hold his own laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Well... how old do you think I am?"

I looked at him, I knew he was older than me... that much I could tell... but how much older... lets see... I took my time looking at him...

"I'm not getting any younger, you know?" he said grinning.

"Ok!... I don't know... 24?..." I said doubtfully... I wasn't sure at all.

He chuckle a little bit.

"Ok. I'll take that as an answer... 22?" I thought he found it funny that I thought he was that old!.

That brought a laugh from him, a good laugh! "I wish!"

"How old are you?"

"Really wanna know?"

"Sure!"

"Ok... I'm 28."

I lift my eyebrow, he had to be kidding! "You're joking, right?"

"Nope, I'm 28."

"You're not that old!" I couldn't help but laugh at the situation.

"Yeah, I don't feel old... but I'm 28." This whole situation made his smile. He had a nice smile. 'It looks like he doesn't know about us... well, I'm sure not gonna be the one to tell him' Kevin thought He was more than happy that nor Matt nor Kate knew about them being the Backstreet boys, that meant that they could hand out with them because they thought of them as their friends, not because of their status

After that we started talking about everything. I told him a lot about me, he told me about his family, his two brothers, that he was from Kentucky, that he loved horse back ridding... We must have been talking for at least three hours!

*****

It had been about an hour since Matt left excused himself, when Brian notice that he hadn't returned and that Kevin wasn't here either.

'Where is he?' he asked himself. 'I just hoped he didn't leave'

He started looking around the yard, when he saw the one he was looking for. His cousin was sitting by the door that let to the kitchen, and he was talking with Matt. 'Now, that's new!' thought Brian, not only was Kevin talking with Matt, but he was also... 'laughing?'

Brian watched them for a couple of minutes. They were really having fun, which was something truly new for Kevin.

"Bri!!!" yelled Nick.

"Ah?" The older man hadn't notice that Nick had been calling him.

"Where did ya go man?" asked AJ.

Brian looked around, all they guys were looking at him, even Kate, had a quizzical look.

"Oh, thinking about stuff, sorry. What did ya want Nick?" he tried to change the subject.

"I said that I was gonna go for a coke, do you want something?" asked Nick for the nth time.

"No, not really" said Brian. "So Kate, how long have ya been here in Orlando?"

"Oh, the two years of college. After finishing school, Matt and I moved here to study."

'She's a very nice girl' thought Brian 'She's probably Matt's girlfriend'

Nick left the group and headed for the kitchen. As he was going there, he realized that Kevin hadn't been with them, but that he was sitting by the kitchen, with Matt. And they were talking like old friends!

'That's weird!!' Nick though 'Kevin's never been the kind to make friends that easy' he let the thought drop, as he approached them.

"There you are guys!"

"Yeah Nick, we've been here, where else?"

"I was gonna grab a couple of cokes for the guys, you want anything?" Nick asked as the good host that he was.

"A coke'd be fine"

"K. You Kev?" he asked towards the older man.

"Yeah, I could use a coke." Kevin said with a smile, a real smile.

'It's been long enough since the last time I saw that smile' Nick thought. "Ok"

As he was about to leave, he heard Kevin saying. "A coke for you Nick. You're not old enough for a beer"

Nick turned around and looked at Kevin. "Kev!, we're in a BBQ, in MY house! One wouldn't do any damage." he said with his best Carter smile.

Kevin smiled at Nick. 'He at least tried, that much I can give him' he thought. He looked at the younger man sternly, one of his eyebrow raised and croaked a little bit, just like he used to looked at him when he was just 15 years and wanted to play Nintendo instead of going to practice.

'Oh boy, I'm in trouble' thought Nick 'I know that look, and I don't like it!'

Kevin stood up and move towards Nick, although it used to be a lot easier when Nick was only 5"5' and Kevin had his height on his side. However he still had what he called the 'you better not mess around with me in this' look.

"You're underage Nick, by a whole year. And even if you were underage by just one day, I will not let you drink. Either in your house or in a party. Is that clear young man?" Kevin said. He knew the 'young man' had done it.

Nick couldn't argue with Kevin when he got into the 'I'm the eldest and I know better' role. He couldn't even bring himself to try to answer back at Kevin, he just looked at the floor and in a childish voice said "Sorry." and with that Nick left towards the kitchen.

Kevin sat back in his chair. I stood there, I just didn't know how to react after what had just happened. I looked at Kevin, he turned around from looking at the kitchen, smiled at me and put his foreign finger in his lips, signaling for me to stay quiet.

A moment later Nick emerged from the kitchen, still looking at the floor, handed me my coke then another one to Kevin, who said. "Thanks Nickolas".

Nick just nodded, never leaving his eyes from the floor and walked towards the others then sat down and gave the rest of the guys what they had wanted.

Then Kevin started to chuckle, I didn't know what was going on!

"What just happened?"

He looked at me, then at Nick, then back at me, and smiled one of the most beautiful smiles I had ever seen.

"Nothing. Nick just thought he could talk me into allowing him to have a beer then just realized that I'd never let him do it. Just that."

"I don't know why I have the idea that it wasn't just that."

"You see, we've been friends for a long time already and every time that the rest of the guys and I would go out. Well, he'd try to have a beer, being the youngest of the group we'd never let him, specially me. I think he thought that being in his house he'd be allowed, however he was hit with the cruel reality!" By then he couldn't hold his laughter.

After thinking about it a moment, I started laughing as well.

"That was being mean."

"Nope, I was just being the responsible one. Knowing the guys, they'd let him have it, sure that nothing'd have happen, but still it wasn't the right thing to do."

"You're used to being the father of them all, right? The one in charge."

Looking at me, his eyes seemed to darken for a moment. "I'm the one they go to when they are in trouble, I have to be there for them."

His voice had changed, that much I could tell. Maybe the subject wasn't one of his favorites, so I decided to change it.

But before I could say anything he asked "So, how are your subjects?"

I smiled, I knew he wanted to change the subject, so I let him ."I just hate Microbiology." I said as I started telling him about it. What had just happened forgotten as we started talking about nothing in particular. About ten minutes into the discussion, his eyes brighten again. The green color coming back to the it's normal shade. I smile to myself. 'Kevin is back' I thought. Still, I didn't know just how wrong I was.

Nick had returned to the group, he sat down and handed everyone their cokes and beers, then just looked at the floor and started to do circles in the water with this foreign finger.

Brian noticed this and asked "Nick, what's wrong?"

Nick looked up to see everyone staring at him, even Kate. He let out a sigh, and then, in a childish voice he said. "He didn't let me have a beer." then he pouted.

The rest of the guys started laughing. Kate was completely lost, looking at them, then at Nick.

Howie realized that Kate didn't understand the joke. "You see Kate. Nick is underage., and Kevin, being not only the eldest of us all but the most responsible as well, he'd never let Nicky boy here have a drink, at least not as long as he's in the house. So Nick thought he'd be able to have a drink because it's a BBQ, but was hit in the head by the cruel reality that 'daddy Kev' would never allow him to."

Kate looked around at the guys, all of them were smiling, well, everyone except Nick.

"Nick, if you're underage, then Kevin did good."

"Yeah, but it's MY BBQ and MY house. Why can't I have a drink?" asked Nick like he was asking his mom why he couldn't have dessert before his dinner.

"Nick, you act like you don't know Kevin. that was a stupid assumption, and you know that." said AJ with a chuckle.

"But he's being unfair, I'm almost 21..."

"No you are not! You're barely 20!" said Brian laughing at his friend's antics.

"Still..." tried to fight back Nick.

"Still nothing, Kevin was right. You shouldn't drink." said Kate in her 'I know better than you' voice, the same one he used with Matt when he acted stubborn as hell.

Brian, AJ and Howie looked at each other with shocked faces.

"What?"

"Oh my God!" said Howie.

"You've got to be kidding..." said AJ.

"It can't be!" said Brian.

"What!?"

They looked at each other, then at Nick, who just nodded.

"Would someone tell me what?!"

"You... you... just sounded like a female version of... Kevin!" said AJ with a scared face, although it was obvious that he was kidding.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd hear that tone in someone's voice besides Kevin." said Brian with a smile.

"Yeah." continue Nick "It's so identical, it's scary!"

"Well, I kinda had practice with Matt." However, Kate regretted those words as soon as they left her mouth. 'Damn, now they are gonna ask me what I mean by that... think Katherine, think!!!' she yelled at herself.

"Why with Matt?"

"He's very stubborn when it comes to the house chores." Kate said with a pleasant voice. It wouldn't have fooled Matt, but they didn't know her as good as Matt did, so they believed her. Almost everyone.

Nick looked at Kate. He had seen her flinch when she said that she used that tone with Matt. 'Why was that?, why did she flinch' he asked himself. Thinking he was just reading too much in her actions, he'd let it slip.. for now.

*****

After about two more hours we kinda decided to finish the gathering inside the house, after all it was late. That and that it was getting dark outside. All this time Kevin and I had been chatting a lot, talking like old friends. It turned out he was a great guy, very easy to talk to.

We moved towards the living room. I sat on the couch, Kate next to me, Kevin in the couch at my left, Howie in the armchair at Kate's right, while AJ, Nick and Brian sat in the floor.

We sat there, kinda looking at each other, not knowing what else to do... until Kevin broke the silence.

"So Kate, what are you studying?"

"Civil Engineering." she answered. I know she wasn't comfortable with him, so I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. She turned around and smiled at me.

"Yep." I continued "Here Scully wants to be aj engineer, while I'm going for medicine, when it shoulda be the other way around, right?"

She just started laughing. We always did this, getting x-files in everything we could, or actually, I could. She like it as well but wasn't a Phile like I was.

"Scully?, as in Mulder and Scully?" asked Nick.

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm a fan of the serie, so I kinda call her Scully every once and again." I said with a stupid grin in my face. I always got like this when I start talking about x-files.

"You're a fan?" he again with a shocked face.

"Yeah.. A Phile." I said, even though I knew that they wouldn't understand the word, only philes understood that terminology.

"Oh my god!" said Brian, his hand covering his mouth in shocked.

"It has to be a mistake... it can't be real." kept saying AJ.

"No, no, no, no..." said Howie, like a mantra.

Nor Kate nor I knew what was going on. We looked at each other, then back at the guys, who were there with this perplex looks in their faces, like they've seen a ghost. I turned to look at Kevin hoping for an answer.

He looked at the floor, a smile on his lips, running his fingers over his forehead like a headache was coming. "Just what we needed, another one."

"Another one what?" I asked finally, my curiosity was too much.

When I looked up to see Nick, he walked over me, helped me stand up, then hug me. "My brother! I've waited so long for ya!" his voice covered with hold laughter.

"Ugh?"

He released me from the hug, looked at me with happy eyes, then hugged me again.

"Ok, will someone tell me what's going on! Because I sure I'm lost!!"

Nick released me, again. However he put one arm around my shoulders, holding me tightly, still looking at the guys. Nick was smiling this stupid grin like he had been allowed to have ice-cream before dinner.

"You see." said Kevin, finally looking at me "Nicky here is... well... how do I say this... a fan as well."

I looked over to the guys, they were kinda nodding, but with a look of 'god knows we know!'. I turned around to look at Nick. "Are you?"

He just nodded.

I hugged him tightly, when I heard Kate say "Oh brother!, we're doom." but I knew she was kidding. After all she should be happy that I've found a Phile and I'd leave her alone with my babbling about it.

When I released myself, I looked at his very beautiful blue eyes.

" 'For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat' " not finishing the quote, waiting for him to see if he was really a Phile or just someone who 'like' the serie.

He smiled at me, and continue the line. " 'the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning' "

I smiled again. " 'the numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in its passage.' "

" 'I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me. Knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other.' " completed Nick

" 'That you should know my heart, look into it; finding there the memory and experience that belong to you -- that are you –' " I said smiling, that was my favorite part of the quote.

He continue " 'is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions.' "

We looked at each other, then said at the same time, at the same pace. " 'If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you, in complete. Hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you.' "

Then we started to laugh like there was no tomorrow.

The guys looked at each other, like we were out of our minds. In a way we were. There's no other feeling as great as that when you meet someone who's as Phile as you, who like the serie as much as you do.

"It was worse that I thought." muttered Kevin, but I could see him smiling

Nick and I turned to look at him, both smiling. Then I turned around to look at Nick. "I didn't know you were a Phile!"

"Well, you never asked!"

"We need to get together for a marathon."

"Yeah, I mean, the guys are fun and everything." He said while looking at his friends. "But they just don't get it, you know?"

"I know what ya mean. Kate works. but there comes a point when her batteries just run out." I said with a smile, then I saw her standing up and slapping me in the arm.

"Very funny Mat!"

I just smiled at her, then sat, as did Kate. Nick looked at me, then over where he was sitting and sat next to me, so Kate had to move over to the arm of the sofa.

"So, what's your fav. ep.?"

"The field where I died and Paper hearts."

" 'At times, I almost dream'? " he asked, fully knowing the beginning of the greatest quote of The Field where I died.

" 'I, too, have spent a life the sages' way and tread once more familiar paths.' " I answer back with the next line of that quote, but before I could finished the whole quote, Kate interrupted me!

"Guys, quit it! Non philes are in the room, you know!" she said bringing us back to the room.

"Sorry, got caught up in the quote."

"I can't believe I've finally found someone who knows the quotes!"

"I feel the same Nick." I said with a smile.

"Ok, changing the subject to one we all know about." said Howie. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, it was really great, you're great guys!" said Kate.

"Thanks." said them pretty much at the same time.

AJ looked at the guys, who looked back at him, then looked over at Kevin, who nodded his approval.

"Well.. I was kinda wondering... do you really guys don't know who we are?" AJ asked while looking between Kate and me.

"What do you mean 'who you are'?, aren't you, well... you guys?"

"What AJ tried to asked, with not much success, was you don't recognize us, do you?" questioned Kevin.

"Should we?"

The guys chuckled at this, then looked at us like we had two heads or something like it.

"You see... well, it's kinda though to find people who don't know who we are." Continue Brian. "And since we were having such a great time with you guys, we didn't want to spoil it by telling you the truth."

"Why would you spoil it by saying the truth?"

"Sometimes people act... different when they know who we are. But if we wanna be friends with you guys, you have the right to know the truth" said Kevin, taking control of the situation. He took a deep breath. "We're the Backstreet Boys."

Kate and I looked at each other... that name sounded familiar, but I didn't know from where.

"Who?"

"The Backstreet boys." repeated Howie.

We looked at each other, still lost. "Sorry guys, but still doesn't ring any bells."

Brian lift his eyebrow, like he didn't believe us. When Nick looked at me and knew that I really didn't know what they were talking about, he started singing. "I want it that way, tell me why, ain't nothing but a heartache, tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way."

He had a beautiful voice, when I started thinking where I had heard that song, then it hit me, from the radio!... and it was sang by... what was the name... Bitter boys?... nope!.... yeah!, the Backstreet Boys!... so that's who they were!

When it stroked me, and Nick could see recognition in my face he started to laugh. "Took you long enough, right?"

"Sorry, but I don't listen to radio that much." I looked over to Kate and she nodded, she had recognized it as well.

"Yeah, we're more into the 70's, 80's. You know, the Beatles, Peter Noone's Herman hermits, Lynn Anderson." We both had the same taste in music.

"It's ok guys, at the beginning we thought that you were just being polite. But then when we were talking and you were really listening to our answers, like you didn't know them already, we kinda figured out you didn't know who we were." said Howie.

"You were right, we didn't know, maybe wouldn't have know if you didn't tell us."

"But it's cool, you are the same guys you were ten minutes ago. Nothing has changed. Just that you sing great." I said with a smile.

"That means a lot to us. It's not easy to find real friends when you're in this industry." said Kevin looking kinda sad.

"As Matt said, we're cool. You're great guys, if you sing or not, well, that just comes with the package." stated Kate.

The guys just nodded. I think they finally understood that what they did for leaving didn't matter not to Kate nor to me that much.

I saw that Kevin looked at his watch, then looked back at us. "Well, it's a kinda late, and even though I'm sure we'd love to stay and chat, we've got stuff to do in the morning. And you probably have classes tomorrow morning." He said while standing up from his chair.

"Yeah, we've got classes early tomorrow morning, and I'm sure you're busy." I said standing up and giving my hand to Kate to help her stand up.

"We've got a meeting with management." answered Kevin.

"Which means that Kevin has a meeting with management, while we get to goof around." said Nick with a smile.

Kevin turned around to look at the blond young man. I think I saw... fear... sadness maybe in his green eyes. But as soon as it appeared, it was gone. Nick, on his part, had this look like he had been caught with the cookie jar and as he was about to say something, Kevin cut him.

"It's ok Nick, I've got the meeting, you guys get to stay at home." then he smiled at the young man "I'll fill you all in later, k?"

They guys just nodded. I knew something was going on but I thought that it was just probably something that wasn't our business at all.

As we said out good byes to the guys, Nick said. "We've got to get together to compare notes, you know."

"Yeah, sure, whenever you can." I didn't know if they really wanted to talk with us again, after all, they should be busy with the group.

Kevin looked at us, then at the guys, then back at us. "If you don't have anything to do tomorrow, maybe be could hang out again. If you want, that is?"

I looked at Kate, I saw acceptance in her eyes, then turn towards Kevin. "Sure, if you guys want."

"YEAH!, you're really great guys." said AJ, then looked at us sternly. "Sorry about earlier, at the door, I didn't know Nicky had invited you and well... I just didn't want to be bother by fans, you know..."

"It's ok AJ, it must really caught up with you at some point. I guess you just wanted to have some time off, we're cool." Kate answered with a smile. I was happy that she had forgiven him. After all if we were gonna hang out together, I didn't want her to be cold towards one of the guys.

"Thanks."

"Great! Then we meet tomorrow... what about... 5pm?" asked Nick.

"Yeah, I've got classes till 3.30 and Kate till 4.00, right?" I looked over at her, she nodded. Not like I needed to ask her about her schedule, I knew it by heart, just like she knew mine.

"Ok, then that settle. Where?"

"What about our place?"

The guys looked at each other, then Kevin answered for the guys. "Sure"

I took out my business card, I remember I made them just for the fun of it, never knew I'd actually use them, then handed it to Kevin. He read it then looked at me. "We'll be there at 5 sharp." said that looking over at the guys.

"We're not always late!" said Brian moving his hands in the air.

"Yeah, right!?"

"K, then we'll see ya then."

We said our goodbyes, then Kate and I went towards my car and got in.

*****

As Kate and Matt had left, Kevin turned towards the guys. "Well, I'm leaving, gotta wake up early tomorrow." He turned and made his way towards the door.

"Kev, hold on!" said Howie. "Are you sure you wanna do the meeting, one of us could do it."

"Yeah, if you need some time to rest, we could take over." added Nick.

Kevin smiled to the guys 'if it was that easy'. "I'm sure, really, besides, you'd be lost!"

"You sure?" asked AJ this time, concern obvious in his voice.

'They are truly worried... if I could only tell them.' "Positive" as he got to the door, he turned around to take a look at his 'children' as he thought of them from time to time "See you guys tomorrow afternoon, don't be late!" he said with a stern look.

"Sure daddy!" said Nick with a childish voice.

Kevin said his goodbyes, as did the guys, then Brian said "I'm leaving too, bye guys!"

Brian walked with Kevin towards where the cars were parked.

"Are you ok Kev?"

"Yeah B, I'm fine." He not even looking at Brian as he was looking for his keys.

"You know..." Brian started saying, but Kevin cut him off.

"That I can talk with ya." finished Kevin, finally looking at him. "Yeah, thanks. Bye cuz." And with that he got into the car and left.

Brian stood there, knowing something was still wrong.

*****

In our way towards the house I asked Kate what she thought of the guys.

"They are pretty cool, I didn't know they were the Backstreet Boys, but they seem pretty down to earth don't ya think?"

"Yeah, they are really great. Kevin is very easy to talk to." But regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth. 'Damn.' I slapped myself mentally 'now she's not gonna let me down on this one so easy.'

"Oh, right! You spent all the evening talking with Kevin. What were you talking about?" she said seductively.

"Could you cool off! We talked out our families and lives. Nothing else, ok?"

"Ok, ok! It's just that you barely talked with the rest of the guys. Why did ya leave the group anyway?" she asked referring to when I had left the conversation and headed towards Kevin.

"Well, I saw that Kevin was all alone over the kitchen, so I decided to make him company. Then we just started talking."

"Oh."

"Katherine Lynn Astadourian." I said in a fatherly tone.

"What Matthew Andrew Caldwell?" she replied with a smile on her voice.

"I know you better than that!"

"Look, I know you pretty well too." I could feel her gaze on me, but I didn't turned around. 'Pretty well' was underestimated. "Do you like him?" She asked bluntly. If anything, she'd always asked what was on her mind.

I sighed. I didn't want to talk about it. It was nor the time nor the place. "I've just met him." I answered in my defense, however I knew she wouldn't settle for that. I was just trying to buy some time.

"That's not what I asked. I asked you if you like him."

I looked over at her for a moment then pulled over at our house. The garage door opened and I climbed out of the car, heading towards living-room. I knew she was right behind me. We sat on the couch, I didn't want to answer that question.

"I'm not gonna give up Mac." She said using an old nickname of mine. She'd only use it when she was annoyed at me... or mad.

I turned around to look at her. What I saw scared me, her eyes were just like two years ago... hopeless. I sighed, I knew I couldn't let this drop. I had to answer.

"He's a great guy, I can give you that. But no, I don't like him. He's just that, a great guy that I talked to for a couple of hours. Happy?"

"You know I'd never be happy until YOU are happy." Leaning over, she hugged me tightly. "I just don't wanna lose you."

"I know. You won't loose me love. I promise you that. That will not happen again." I looked over at the clock, it was already 9.40pm. I couldn't believe it was that late.

"C'on, it's getting late. Wanna have dinner?" I asked as she pulled away from the hug.

"Nah, I'm not in the mood, lets hit the bed, will ya?" I could still see that her eyes were dark, I knew she was remembering what had happened. I knew she'd never forget it.

"Sure." I grabbed her hand and moved towards the bedrooms. As we arrived at her room I helped her sit then kiss her forehead slightly. "I'm here sweetie, and I'm not leaving." My voice as soft as I could muster, she needed the reassurance. And to tell you the truth, so did I.

"Good night love." Through the darkness of the room, I could see her smile.

I smiled back and headed towards my room. I lay on the bed for a moment, I didn't wanna loose what I had. I wasn't willing to. Not for something that wasn't gonna last.

'I've hurt her enough, I'm not gonna do it again. If not for my sanity then at least for hers.'