Laying back against the bed I let out a sigh of relieve. I had a nightmare... again. I kept seeing myself in the hospital, Kate by my side... she was crying... asking me why...

Then I felt a presence next to me. Turning around I saw that Kate was cuddling me tightly. Her arm around my bare chest, half laying on top of me. I had one arm around her waist.

'She must have came here at some point last night.'

She used to do that when she left like I was 'slipping away' as she like to call it. It hadn't happened in some time, so I had thought that maybe I was 'staying' for good. Guess not.

I looked over at the clock, I had forgotten to set it up. I thanked my lucky star that I had woken up early enough, since it was just 6.30am. We still had time.

I looked at her again. She was just in her underwear, and I was just in my boxers.

'Guess I was too tired to change into my pjs.' Her brown chestnut hair was all over my chest, her petite form fit perfectly with mine. Even though I was almost one feet taller, sometimes it seemed as if she was taller than me, her wisdom could have no boundaries in some ways.

We had to get up, that much I knew. We both had classes at 8.30 and unless we wanted to be late, we had to get going. Now. Deciding it was either now or never, I started shaking her. "Darling, it's get late."

She just moved around and cuddled closer to me.

God give me a hand, will ya? "Kate."

Nothing.

"Love we've got to get up. It's monday morning, remember?" I said again, running my fingers over her long brown hair. If anyone had came up in that moment, they would have thought we were lovers or something like it.

"Late?" she mumbled in her sleep.

"Not actually. But if you wanna enjoy your shower, then you better get up."

"Mac?!" She stood up rather abruptly, looking around until her beautiful brown eyes found my black ones. I could see her eyes glistening with unshed tears, moving slowly she pulled me to a hug.

"I'm right here honey. Right here with ya." My fingers running up and down her back.

I could tell she was crying softly, hot tears falling in my shoulder.

"It's ok, I'm not leaving... You're stuck with me." Humor in my voice, however she just kept her tight grip in my waist.

After a while she spoke softly, her voice barely about a whisper, her head never leaving the crock of my neck. "Last night I dreamt you were gone, I came here and you were asleep. I needed to sleep with ya."

"It's ok. I thought something like that had happened. I'm here love, I'm right here." Sighing as I didn't get any response, I decided to try again. "You ok?"

Looking up at me with her big brown eyes I could see bottomless fear in them. She loved me, and the feeling was mutual. I had to made her realize that.

"I'm not leaving. Not now, not ever. It was a mistake. A 'once in a life time' kind of mistake." I kept quiet for moment, choosing just the right words to express my feelings. " 'Look, I know what you're thinking but you have to get past that. We both do. I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere.'" I used what thought was the best for the occasion. A quote from Firewalker. Something Scully had said to Mulder, who was afraid of loosing her again after her 'abduction'

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, you're just too loveable to leave." I sighed and started wiping her tears with my finger. "Besides we promise we'd be there for each other. You were there for me, I haven't yet."

"I love you. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I love you too Scully." I hugged her again, trying to give her reassurance about my words. "It's getting late, c'on."

With that we started our day. After showering and changing we had breakfast, even though it was just yogurt for me and tea for her.

As we got to college, we smiled at each other.

"Remember the guys are coming over at 5pm." I said as I picked up my backpack from the back seat.

"Yeah, we've got enough time to arrive home and rest before they arrive."

"See ya at 4pm at the library k?"

She nodded and gone we were, both heading towards our classes. It was gonna be a long day, that much I could tell.

*****

*Ring*

Kevin heard the phone ring, but he wasn't in the mood to talk right now.

*Ring*

It was 2pm and had just arrived from a meeting, which had been pretty much pointless.

*Ring*

They had talk about stuff he already knew, the schedules, the PDAs. They had even told him that 'he' had to have the guys in line... like he had to be told that!, he knew what was there to be done!

He heard the machine pick it up.

"Hey, I'm not here right now, so leave your message and I'll get to ya as soon as I can" he heard himself say, then the beep of the machine.

"Cuz, it's me, Brian, I know you're there... c'on, pick up."

Arg!!... 'why does Brian have to bother me!!?' he though.

"Kev, answer!" his voice was the one of business.

"What ya want?" asked a very annoyed Kevin.

"Took you long enough, don't ya think?"

"I'm tired. Talk." He said with an exasperate tone.

"Can I come over, I wanna talk with you." He was telling him, not asking him.

"I told you I'm not in the mood. I'm tired, ok. Besides, I'll see ya at Matt's this afternoon." He didn't want to see his cousin, he knew what he'd like to talk about, and he didn't know what he was gonna answer.

"That's exactly what I wanna talk about."

"Look, I'm tired and --"

"I know better than that, ok! I know you don't wanna talk, but you have no choice."

"You're telling me?!" He yelled angrier than before. If there was something he hated, was being told what to do.

"That's not what I meant... look... just talk. Half an hour, k?"

Kevin felt silent for a moment, he knew he'd have to 'talk' about it, but why now? Why not... in let say... a thousand years?

The older cousin sighed. 'I'm going to have to deal with this anyway.'

"OK." He said and hanged up the phone, not even waiting for Brian to say good bye.

He laid on his bed, as he had been for the past 10 minutes since his arrival. He didn't know what had happened last night, he had felt... different?

'But analyze this, what was so 'different'. Besides the fact that you laugh, a real laugh, like you haven't in the past 8 months. That you chatted for about three hours like your old self... that you felt, at ease?'. He knew something had changed. Maybe not dramatically changed, but something inside him had at least moved a millimeter... but why?.

'Maybe it has to do with Matt' he thought. 'Nah! I just met him, for Christ's sake!'

He closed his eyes, which wasn't wise at all. He could see it again, the darkness, the pain, the fear. Startle by his own memories he opened his eyes. He was in his room, in his bed, alone... save. 'Am I really?'.

The dark haired man didn't want to think about it. It had been hard enough to live through it. He stood up and went to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face. The best thing was to relax and be alert by the time his younger cousin arrive, otherwise he may just let his 'facade' slip.

'I can't do that!... I won't do that.'

As he made his way towards the kitchen he started remembering last night conversation with Matt. He was a great guy, that much he'd learn in those few hours he'd chat with him. He was pretty intelligent, if studying Medicine for 2 years already and still studying it was of any indication. He'd been very cool when he found out who they truly were.

'But that's not just that, and you know it Richardson.' he heard himself say.

Kevin opened the door fridge and looked for a bottle of Gatorade, he wasn't in the mood for coffee, and water just wasn't calling his name right now. 'Grape Gatorade, nothing better than this.'

Then as planned, he heard the doorbell ring.

He walked slowly towards the door, dreading to open it, knowing what would come with that.

Letting out one final sigh, he opened the door. As expected, Brian stood there. He didn't even said hello to his younger cousin, he just walked towards the living room. Sitting in the couch, he could hear the door shutting down and Brian's steps towards the couch across from him.

Silence.

None of them dreading to break it. Kevin knew he'd have to talk eventually, but that 'eventually' didn't have to be so soon, did it?

While Brian knew something was different, he could just 'tell'. Kevin had always been a very private person, not being able to make friends from the blues of it. But that hadn't happen with Matt. It had been the complete opposite, talking and laughing like all school friends.

Laughing.

Something Brian hadn't seen his older cousin doing for the past 8 months. He sighed. He knew he had to talk with Kevin about it, it was killing him to see his beloved cousin like this and not being able to do anything to help him. 'It's either now or never.'

"Kevin. Please talk with me." His voice only above a whisper, the plea evident on it.

Kevin couldn't looked up from his hands since unshed tears were threatening to fall. 'It's killing him as well. It's my fault, all my fault.' he repeated like a mantra.

"I'm fine." His green eyes never leaving the floor.

"That's bull and you know it!" the younger cousin yelled. "You haven't been yourself for the past 8 months since whatever the hell happened with Greg. You don't seem to be able to talk about it with me. Whatever it is it's killing you Kevin." He towered the older and taller man, since Kevin hadn't stood up from him position in the couch, he could use this height on Kevin for once.

The older cousin closed his eyes shut, biting his lower lip. He couldn't break down here, not in front of Brian. He couldn't tell him what had happened.

Brian sighed, he knew Kevin wouldn't tell him. If he hadn't told him for the past months, he wouldn't now. He sat down next to his cousin, placing his hand on the older man's shoulder. "Look." said calmly "I just want to help you, but I can't if you don't talk with me."

"There's nothing to talk about." muttered Kevin.

"Ok. If you don't wanna talk about it, then lets talk about yesterday, shall we?"

Kevin stood up, suddenly feeling very angry. Why did he had to get into his business! "There's nothing to talk about either." His voice as cold as he could muster.

"You and I both know that's not true." He continue standing up as well. "You were talking with Matt like you've known him for years!"

"He's a great guy, very easy to talk to. That's all."

"Is that so?"

"Damn it Brian yes! I don't have a crush on him if that's what you're asking. I barely even know him!" He had not only to try to prove it to his cousin, but to himself as well.

"You've never been so opened with people and you know it! It took you long enough to get used to the guys." he stated, remembering the time when Kevin had been introduced to the rest of the group. Sure he felt paternally towards them, but at the beginning he hadn't even want to talk with them, building barriers around him for protection.

"That was different!"

"It wasn't and you know it! You never talk so freely with someone you've just met, however you did it with him!"

Kevin started to pace the room, now knowing where to go, he felt trapped in his own house. He turned around, facing Brian, towering over him, like he used to do when they were just kids. "So what!? It's not of your damn business."

"It is when you're safety is concern." his voice soft and tentatively.

"Well let me tell you something Brian, I'm old enough to take care of myself, you know!" Turning around again, knowing that it wasn't that he was mad a Brian. He was mad at himself for not admitting the obvious.

Brian sat on the couch, looking at the older man looking out the window. He looked so old, even though he was only 28, it was like he had aged 20 years in just minutes. He walked over him, looking out the window himself. "I just want to help, ok? I don't want you to get hurt."

Kevin sigh, he was just making it more difficult for himself and everyone around him. "I know."

"Look, take a nap and I'll see over Matt's, k?" his voice calm and steady, hoping that it'd calmed Kevin down a little bit. He hated fighting with his cousin.

He only nodded, not averting his eyes from the window. After a moment, he heard the door open and then shut again. He could see Brian getting in his car and driving off.

He was safe. Alone.

Closing the curtains shut, he laid down on the couch letting the tears fall free. he'd have to compose himself before 5pm, but he'd think about it later. Right now, all he wanted was to swallow in self pity.

*****

We arrived at home at 4.30pm, enough time to change into more comfortable clothes and wait for the guys. Both Kate and I were in the study. I knew the guys wouldn't leave till late and I truly didn't want to stay up with homework, so I decided to do some for now. However my childish-like-behavior took the best of me and I got into my computer and started to check some fanfic of X-Files. Kate was in her desk, writing some sketches about a house or something like it.

I was completely lost in my own little world when the doorbell rang, since Kate was a busier than I was I headed towards the door. Looking over the peephole and I noticed it was Nick. Smiling at myself I opened up the door.

" 'You didn't come to raid my mini-bar, did ye?' " Using Mulder's quote from Deep Throat in the 1^st season.

His baby blue eyes sparkle with his eyes. "Good one."

"Little oldies never cease to amaze me."

Nick started to looked around the house, mine wasn't as big as his, but it was big enough for Kate and I and our families when they wanted to visit us. Not that it had happened that often either.

"Like it?"

"Can I have the grand tour?" he asked with a pout and batting the baby blues.

"You do know that you could get whatever you want doing that, don't you?" Trying to keep a straight face but the corners of my mouth were twitching.

"Yeah! I've been told that before. However it doesn't work for everyone." his voice like the one of a 5 year old.

"Oh, really? And who is the all Mighty that can face them and not succumb by them."

"Kevin. I've tried everything on that man! He wouldn't even let me have chocolate for breakfast when I was kid! He's unbreakable!"

"No one is unbreakable Nick. You just have to find their Achilles' heel." My eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I love your line of thought. By the way, where's Kate?"

"Right here." a voice was heard from the stairs.

Both of us looked up. There she was, dressed only in jeans and a loose long sleeves T-shirt and sneakers. But to me she'd never looked more beautiful. She was my love. She was all I had on my darkest and worst moments.

Smiling at her I extended my hand in a old fashion way. Smiling back she took my hand and kissed my cheek in sign of affection. Then went towards Nick and hugged him. He was surprised for a moment, but then returned the hug.

"It's good to see you again kiddo."

"Who are you calling kiddo?" his voice full of annoyance. "I'm older than ya, you know."

"I know, still, you DO behave like a kid." flashing him a seductive smile.

I just grinned, she was unique. After all, she was MY Scully.

"So, what about the grand tour?"

"What ya say if we waited for the rest of the guys to arrive, then I'll show you all the house, k?"

"Sure."

We motioned to the living room. Nick sat in one of the couches, I was next to him and Kate in one of the armchairs.

As Nick was about to ask something, I heard the doorbell. Excusing myself I made my way towards the door. As I expected, it was Howie and AJ.

"See you arrived first Kaos." said AJ with a smile. That guy never stopped wearing sunglasses, did he?.

"Yep! Wanted to see his 'Phile' habitad. Good to see you D."

"Same here Kiddo."

Kate and I started looking at each other. It was like they were talking in this unknown language to us.

"What's with the weird names?"

"The nicks? Oh! Just some monikers of us." Howie said.

"Care to share?"

"Sure. Lets see. Well, AJ, he's called Bone, and J usually. Howie, it's either D from his last name Dorough or Sweet D. Brian, he's the one who's got the most of us all. He's B-Rok, but some times we just call him B or Bri, or Rok as well. He's also Frick, but I'll explain that one later. Kev, well, Kev, and Kevvy being the main ones. Old man as well, being the eldest of us all, Boo and Pumpkin when he was a child, and... well, another one that you'll have to ask him." Nick explained us with the already famous Carter smile.

'Then I'll have to ask him.' "What about you?"

"I was just leaving the best part to the end."

"You wish!" said AJ

"Shut up Bone! Ok, me!... let see: Nicky, which I hate, I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Says who?" asked Howie with a smile.

Nick just glared at him and continue his statement. "Let see... there's also Kaos, based on nothing! And Frack. Now, Frick and Frack are Bri's and my nickname, since they say we're such a pair, hanging together all the time and stuff like it. Guess we've covered everything, right?" The guys nodding at his question.

"WOW! That's a lot to remember."

"Now, what about you?" asked AJ.

"We?" said Kate and I at the same time, which gave us a laugh from the guys.

"Yep, you've got to have some nicks, right?" chipped in Nick.

I didn't know what to say. I looked over to Kate, who smiled at me, I nodded.

"Well, the classical stuff. My name is Katherine, so Kate is a nickname. Same with Matt, he says Matthew sounds old, I think it's cute, but well... Being philes, Mulder and Scully. Matt's nick on line is M. F. Luder." said Kate looking at Nick for any recognition.

Smiling back, recognition in his eyes. "From Fallen Angel?" Referring to a episode when Scully finds out that Mulder wrote an article in a magazine with the name M. F. Luder, which is nothing else but an anagram of F. Mulder.

"Yep! Only truly philes could know about it."

"Ok, mine is S. D. Lucly." Kate said looking at me. I just smiled at her.

"I don't remember that one." Confusion written all over his face.

"Yeah well, that's kinda our copyright. It's an anagram of D. Scully." Remembering the time that Kate had wanted a nick related with X-Files and made it for her.

"Hey! That's so cool!"

"That's all?" asked AJ.

"Well... I sometimes call Matt... MAC."

"Mac, why?" asked Howie.

"From my name, I'm Matthew Andrew Caldwell. And I call Kate... petite for obvious reasons" I said smiling at my love. She just slapped my arm playfully. "You know you love it!"

With that all of us laughed. Kate wanted to look mad, but I could tell she was having a good time as well. Then the doorbell ring again. I walked over and opened the door, not even bothering to look by the peephole, knowing it was one of the guys. Either Brian or Kevin.

Brian smiled at me and made his way towards the living room, sitting in the couch that both AJ and Howie were.

"Glad you made it Rok"

He looked at me with a quizzical look, then looked over to the guys.

"We told them." said Nick. Brian, in response, only nodded.

I could feel something was wrong with him, but why? I'd have to find out later. As I was about to say something, the doorbell rang again. I stood up and opened the door, knowing it was Kevin. He stood in the doorstep smiling at me. He was just wearing black cargo pants, a tight blue T-shirt and a black opened button-down collar. He looked amazing!

I stepped to a side, so he could come in. Turning to me he said. "Good to see you again Matt." His southern accent sticking up a little bit.

"Same here."

Kevin turned toward the guys and said. "Good to see you arrived on time."

The guys just smiled. "Glad you could come. Oh! Fearless leader." Teased the blond man, which made the guys laugh.

Kevin just glared at him, like when you parents don't want you to leave the table. Nicky just looked over at the floor. I smiled in despite of myself, they acted like father and child so much.

As Kevin and I took our sets, Kevin in an arm chair that was just by my side. "Are you and Nicky related?"

Kev looked at me, then at Nick and smiled. "Nope, but I've kinda raised him, that's all. Why?"

"Well, you too act like he was your little brother, or even your son. But you're not old enough to have Nicky as you son."

"I've been in the group since I was 12 and here Kevin was 21, so he kinda took all of us ubder his wing, being me the one who got to be raised by him more openly. That's why he acts like my father, even though I'm an adult now!" Nick said in a mock of annoyance.

"Nickolas." said Kevin with stern voice. "Watch your tone."

"Sorry."

Kate and I smiled. It was so fun watching them interact.

Grinning AJ continue the explanation. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Nicky here tries to behave like an adult but that only last a couple of minutes, and when he plays a prank on one of us, Kevin is the one to put him on line. He's ver strict with all of us, but Nick is the one that gets the most 'parental' mode of Kevin. He kinda brings is out on him."

"I try."

"Can we have the grand tour now?" asked Nick, changing the subject.

I smiled at him, I'd do the same thing if they were talking about how childish I acted. "Sure Kaos."

After half an hour we had showed them all the house. Nick being amazed by my room, every single wall was full of X-Files posters and had the biggest memorabilia he had ever seen. I was proud of my collection, what can I say?

"How do you pay for a house like this?"

"I don't. My parents bought it for us, as a starting college present, so to speak." I looked at the ground, I've never like the fact that my parents love to show off their money.

"What do they do?" asked Nick this time.

"Mine and Kate's parents are in the FBI, ADs both of them. They're residing on D.C. right now."

"Wow! You're parents are ADs?"

Kate and I nodded.

"That's so cool." Nick said with shining eyes, like it was the best thing ever. God know I'd wished my father was more... down to earth so to speak.

As we arrived at the living room again, I showed Nick my video collection. I had every chapter taped, as well as the movie and the videos that you could rent on Blockbuster. Also the special appearances and Award shows. Lets just say that I spent a lot of time in that, k?

"Wow! I can't believe you have all this." Nick looked at me, his eyes wide opened.

Shaking his head Kevin smiled at Nick's antics. "You're acting like you're in Christmas morning Nick."

"I barely even have the movie."

"Well, I can lend you the videos if ya want. Us philes have to help each other, right?" the happiness at knowing another Phile was obvious in my voice.

"Thanks!" He said while hugging me very tight, and being taller than me, I could barely breath!

"No prob. man, but... I kinda need air, ya know?"

He let go a little bit, still smiling at me. "You're great!"

"You've made Nick very happy, and now you have a friend forever."

"That's what I wanted." What could I say?. I was happy. Nick was just a great guy and a Phile nonetheless!.

"So what do we do?" asked a voice. I turned around and see that it had been AJ who asked it.

"We can always watch a video." said Kate.

"As long as is not X-Files." said Howie with a smile, looking over at us. "We've got enough with the kid over there." pointing at Nick.

"They just don't understand us." said Nick looking at me.

"Yeah, genius aren't understood by their generation."

"Neither are madmen." muttered Kevin.

Nick and I just glared at him. Turning around we smiled. It wasn't the first time we had been called that and it sure wouldn't be the last.

"So, what do we watch?" asked Brian.

It had been the first time he had talked tonight. Something was bothering him and from the looks of it, it was related with me!

"Well, we can always go to Blockbuster and rent some videos." suggested Kate.

"Cool, do we all get to go?"

"I don't think so, 7 people for only a couple of videos, wouldn't THAT be suspicious?"

"Ok, Brian, AJ and Howie, you go and get the videos, bring some cokes in your way over. Kate, Matt, Nick and myself will stay here." said Kevin taking over the situation.

'He's a natural.' "No need for the cokes, we've got the fridge well filled"

"Ok, lets go kiddos." said Howie in his best fatherly voice.

Brian and AJ looked over at Howie, then at each other. Brian spoke, grinning obvious in his voice. "It doesn't work on ya. Only Kevin has the 'daddy tone'"

Howie looked over at Kevin. Kevin just shrugged. "Care to share the secret with me Kev?"

"Sorry D. You'll learn when you have your kids."

With that the guys left. I looked over at the four of us "What do we do in the mean time?"

"Wanna play Nintendo?" asked Kate to no one in particular.

"Sure!" yelled Nick. They looked at each other and sat on the floor in front of the tv and started to play.

I looked over at Kev, who shrugged again. "Guess we're too old for that, right?"

"Yep, those whippersnappers just don't respect their elders."

"C'on Boo, it's not as if you're that old!"

He looked at me with a quizzical look.

"Sorry! Shouldn't have said that." My tone apologetic.

"It's ok, the guys probably told you, right?" He waited for me to nod before continuing. "I'm fine with it, it must be kinda tough to remember all the nicks with the five of us." he finished with a smile.

"I've got good memory!"

"He's got photographic memory!" yelled Kate, her eyes never leaving the game.

I chuckle, leave it to her to be able to pay attention to her game and to our conversation, she was so curious some times!

"Are you red-green color blind too?" asked Nick, not turning around either. He was referring to the fact that Mulder had photographic memory AND was red-green color blind.

"I wished!"

Kevin turned his head to the side a little bit, confusion in his eyes.

"Phile stuff." His smile back in his eyes, he nodded.

We walked towards the back of the house in silence, somehow we both knew we didn't need words in that moment. Neither Kate nor Nicky paid attention to our departure.

Sitting down on the grass, I starting looking at the pool. It was at times like this that I wanted to swim just to take my mind off things. Kevin looked at me, even though I did wanted to turn around, somehow, I just didn't.

"Penny for your thoughts." I heard him say.

"I was just thinking."

"Care to share?"

"Worried about my studies, that's all." I lied. I probably wouldn't have been able if Kate was next to me, she had this 'way' of telling that I was lying, damn her and knowing me so well. But I couldn't tell Kevin what I was thinking... how different I feel when I was with him.

"You're getting low grades?" I could sense concern in his voice, like a father asking a son.

"You'll make a great dad, you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I could sense your concern in your voice, like it was your son you were talking to, still, it wasn't threatening... like from a friend." I looked over at him "You're gonna make a girl very happy."

He flinched slightly, but composed in an instant. I really didn't notice. Smiling back at me he answered. "I try."

I turned around, getting lost in the pool again. "In answer to your question, no, I'm not getting low grades. Actually, I've only gotten straight As ever since I got here."

"Your parents must be very proud."

Now it was my time to flinch. 'If only that was true' I thought. 'I don't think I've ever made them feel proud.'

"If you're getting As, they why are you worried?"

"I don't know... I love what I'm studying, don't get me wrong. I've never doubt it for a second, it's just... I guess I'm just babbling."

"No, it's natural. You're so young, and heading for a long and very stressful career. I'm not suggesting you don't like what you're studying, I'm sure you love it, but maybe it's all catching up on ya."

I turned to looked at him, it had suddenly gotten dark. I didn't know what time it was, probably just 6.30pm or something like it, I could see him by the dim light of the stars. Without even realizing it myself I smiled. I felt at ease with him by my side. "Thanks."

"Why?, I didn't tell you something you didn't already know."

"Thanks for listening."

We looked over at the pool, neither of us saying anything. I don't know how or why, but it just wasn't needed.

'Something is definitely different' Kevin thought. 'I can't be falling for him, I've just met him!'

"Do you see your parents often?" I asked out of the blues.

"Sorry?" Kevin said being brought back from his musings.

"Your parents, do you see them often?"

"As often as I can. My father died when I was 19, my mom still lives in Lexington, I talk with her every once in a while and visit her a couple of times a year."

"Sorry, I didn't know about your father." I said worried that I had brought a painful memory for him

"It's ok. I still miss him, but I know he's watching over me. What about your parents, do you see them often?"

I started thinking, when was the last time I HAD seen them, lets see... for Christmas? Nope, I spent it with Kate's parent, mine were too busy, had to fly to New York I think...

"Well, they are busy, you know? They love gatherings and everything. We were supposed to get together for Christmas, but they had an invitation to some high class ball or something like it in New York, so I stayed with Kate's parents. Before that... well..." I didn't know what to say, the last time I saw them was when I left home to come here. That had been almost two years ago!

"It's ok... I mean, they are busy and everything." Kevin said, trying not to make feel uncomfortable.

"We're not too close you know, my dad and Richard, that's Kate's dad, were Field agents when we were kids, partners as well, that's how Kate and I met. They were promoted to AD when we were 14, my mom and dad moved over to D.C. as was needed. Richard moved as well, but Lilyan, Kate's mom, stayed in Massachusetts with Kate. My parents thought I was old enough to take care of myself, so I stayed there. Lilyan was nice enough to let me stay over at Kate's for as long as I wanted, I kinda became their son as well." I finished smiling at the memory. I was practically leaving in the Astadourian's house, only going to mine to check it up or to get some clothes.

"I went over to D.C. when finished high school and had decided which college I'd got to. They were ok with whatever my decision was. They just said that I wouldn't live in the dorms, 'the son of an AD wasn't gonna leave in those places' my dad said. So he and mom got us this house from their real state, it is nice. Kate and I moved here as soon as we could. It was tough for us to leave Lilyan behind, but she moved with Richard when he came here. Actually, I keep in touch more with Lilyan and Richard than with my own parents" I kept looking at the floor. I was kinda ashamed of that, here is a guy that's very closed to his parents and siblings, while I'm not, and being an only child doesn't help things either.

"There are different kind of families, yours thought it was the best for you." his voice full of reassurance and kindness.

I looked up to him and couldn't help but smile. He was trying his best, although he didn't have the complete story, it was his best under the circumstances. Just then I heard the doorbell rang, a moment later I heard the door open and then close.

"Guess they're back."

"Yep." he answered back at me, I could see... what was that?... disappointment?... nah, I guess I'm just seeing things.

With that we made our way back to the living room.

"There you are, we thought you'd been kidnapped by aliens!" Nick said.

"You were too engrossed in your video game to even noticed us leaving the room!" Turning around over at Kate, I gaze at her with a mischievous grin. "What were you doing kids?"

Kate just glared at me. I knew she'd get me back for that later, but right now I was embarrassing. I flushed her a smile.

"So what did you knuckleheads got?"

"Very funny old man, you're getting senile and you know it!" said AJ.

"Bone's right cuz, you're gonna turn 30 in no time!"

"Cuz?" I asked looking from Kevin to Brian.

"Yeah, that kid over there and I are cousins, God knows how that happened!" his voice full of humor.

Brian gave him a hurt look, then smiled. He seemed already cool with whatever was bothering him.

"So, what did you guys got?" asked Kate.

"Well, X-Men, Perfect storm and Matrix." said Howie showing us the videos.

"Matrix? Thanks Frick!" said Nick while hugging Brian.

"No prob. Frack."

"I see you like that movie." I turned around to see Nick practically strangling Brian.

The guys laughed at that... I guess he DID liked that movie.

"Like it? I love it!" slowly he released him. "It's one of the coolest movies I've ever seen."

"What about Fight the future?" Talking about The X-Files movie.

"That's cool as well... but... you've got to accept that it's most like a very long chapter, right?"

I sighed. Even though it had taken me some time to admit to myself, the movie wasn't the best ever. It could have been better. Even some chapters, specially the mythology ones, were a lot better. "Yeah, you're right, it IS good, but... "

"Not THAT much?"

"Yeah." My voice full of defeated.

"Oh my god!" I heard someone say, and I could recognize that voice everywhere! I turned around and saw Kate with her hand on her mouth. Then I just started chuckling.

"What?" asked Brian. I could also see that Nick was grinning, it was very easy to realize it. Well, it was if you were a Phile.

"Nothing. It's just that I'm such a Phile that Kate probably never thought she'd live to hear me say that the movie wasn't the greatest." Finished smiling.

Brian turned around towards Kate for confirmation.

"He's always saying that X-Files is just the best serie ever and... well... he just said that it wasn't!"

Brian smiled to me and turned to Nick "Yeah, it was a surprise to me too when Nick said that he liked Matrix more that Fight the Future."

"Ok kids, too much X-Files for us." said Kevin, bringing us out of our reverie for a moment. I smiled to myself, he was always there... to take care of everything and everyone.

"Yeah!, I mean, I got lost half an hour ago!" said AJ joking.

"Ok, lets settle for a while." We made our way towards the cushions. I sat at one side of the couch, Kate took one of the armchairs, Nick sat on the floor, by my legs but close enough to Kate. Now I was gonna ask him about that soon. AJ chose the other armchair, with Howie on the floor, resting his back in AJ's legs. For a moment I thought something was going on there, but then AJ kicked Howie in the back, who just laughed and sited down again. Just brotherly love, I realized. So there were only Brian and Kevin left to take a sit. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brian smile at Kevin and then sat next to Nick on the floor, Kevin just let out a sigh and sit next to me on the couch. I looked over to Kate, who winked at me. God that girl never learns, does she?.

"So what do we watch first?"

"Dunno... what about x-men?" answered Kate.

We all nodded at this and Nick stood up and popped the movie in the VCR. As the movie began I started to check out the scenery before me. Kate was mermecized on the movie, as usual. I would be also, but my new friends were a mystery to me, and I was planning to solve it. Nick was paying attention to the movie, although he was glancing over to Kate from time to time. Now I was sure that Nick, at least, had a crush on Kate. I didn't know if Kate returned the feelings, I did know that she had never been very fond of blondes. Guess Nick could die his hair, right?. But, of course, I didn't know that a thousand teeny boopers would kill me for that.

I looked to my right side, AJ was looking at the movie, but was playing with his rings. I guess he did it subconsciously, I couldn't blame him, God knows I've got my own habits. Howie wasn't leaning on AJ's legs, he was sited indian style and had his elbow in his knees, resting his chin in his palms. Brian, who had moved a little bit to my left, was glancing over at me from time to time. I knew that because I could see his blue eyes from the corner of mines. After a couple of minutes, he resume back to the movie. Now, last... but not least was Kevin. I couldn't look at him that well because he was sited right next to me, so it would look kinda suspicious. However focusing on the tv enough I could see his reflection. He was gorgeous, that was something I had realized as soon as I saw him. His sapphire eyes were so beautiful, so deep, like you could really read him like a book if you just took the time to see him. Really see him.

After my little 'investigation' I turned my attention back to the tv. But my instinct told me otherwise and I glanced around over at Kate, she just smiled at me and focused on the movie again. She had caught me looking at Kevin!. Ok, now she knew me just too well.

About an hour and half the movie was over, it was really great. That I have to accepted, after all it WAS X-men.

"It was great, don't ya think guys?" asked Howie, he had been really focus on the movie. I could tell because his eyes never left the screen.

"Yeah, it was really good."

"Good?! C'on Brian, even you can do it better than that!?" said Nick.

"Well, there weren't many known actors."

"So? You don't need famous actors to have a good movie. Besides it did have known actors, what about Patrick Steward and John Neville?" I've seen Neville's work a couple of times, the ones I remember the most are of Well Manicure Man, sorry, I just can't help it!

"Well Manicure Man, right?"

"Yeah!." It was nice to know someone who was a true Phile, and not that would say... 'I think I've seen him before', it truly unnerves me!

"Matt's right B, there are great movies, because their actors are good, even though they aren't known and that's how they reach a good name." said Kevin with a calm voice.

"Guess I was wrong."

"It's ok, it's not like you're a critic or something, it's cool."

"What do we watch now?" asked AJ.

I looked over at the clock in the living room. It was 8.40 already! "I don't know you guys, but it's kinda late, wanna have something to eat?"

They checked their watches and realized it was indeed a little bit late.

"You're right, we should probably have dinner." Observed Kevin, he knew the guys got impossible to handle if they didn't eat. "What do you wanna have?"

"PIZZA." yelled Brian and Nick at unison.

"Something different than that Nickolas?". Kevin knew Nick loved Pizza, but having it almost on a daily basis was starting to get to his nerves, and he didn't even want to think about his arteries.

"Pizza?" asked AJ with a smile.

"Well, who else wants pizza?" I didn't mind having pizza for dinner, God knows how many times Kate and I have only had rice and a fried egg, since we were either too tired too cook or weren't that hungry.

I looked around the room, Brian, Nick, AJ, Howie and Kate had raised their hands, while Kevin was just shaking his head, disbelieving all of them could want Pizza.

"Guess they win." I said to no one in particular, although I think I was, subconsciously anyway, talking to Kevin.

"Ok, you can have pizza."

With that everyone started to cheer.

"But with one condition, you'll have salad as well." continued Kevin with a stern tone.

"Hey!"

"Take it or leave it, it's you're choice."

The guys looked at each other, I'd say that it was a good deal. All the guys nodded.

"Ok, Nick, order the pizza."

"Cool." with that Nick got out his cell phone and pressed a speed dial button.

I looked over at him with a quizzical look.

"What? I know we aren't here that much, but when we are, we have pizza almost all the time."

I just shook my head at his antics. I looked over at Kevin, who was smiling at him. I could tell that he cared a great deal for the guys, and took everything about them to the heart.

"Care to help me with the salad?"

He just nodded and we both made our way towards the kitchen. I guess the rest of the guys didn't want anything to do with it, specially if they were going to have to eat it with pizza.

As I started to take out the ingredients: lettuce, lots of it!, tomatoes, cucumber and some carrots. I could see that Kevin was staring at me, I turned around and smile at him, he smiled back, but then looked at the floor and blush. He looked so cute when he blushed!

'Oh my god!' thought Kevin 'ok, just breath, so what? You were looking at him, there's nothing wrong with that. You've checked out the guys before, after all he's cute'. He sighed 'But you know that's not just that, is it? You know it's something more!' his mind told him.

"Do you think this will do?" I asked trying to change his mood. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with me.

He looked over at what I was holding and nodded. "Maybe another lettuce, the guys don't like it, but I do."

"Me too, sometimes Kate and I just have lettuce for dinner."

He started looking for a bowl, after he found one, which wasn't the one I usually used for salad, he started looking for the cutting board.

"I got it." as I knew it was on the cupboard on my left, I stretched my arm to open the cupboard. However Kevin was standing just too close to my left, as I turned around to see him, I could feel his breath against my nose. We were mere inches apart, if I moved just a little bit, I could pretty easily kiss him. Time seemed to stand still, everything around us just disappeared. The guys outside the kitchen, the noise from their talking, the fact that we were supposed to be there making a salad. Everything just stopped, because for just that moment, it was just Kevin and Matt. Two people with many differences, but as well many similarities. The main one that in that exact second we both wanted the same. He looked down at me, his piercing green eyes full of surprise and expectation. I could tell he was looking at my soul right through my black eyes. I didn't want that, I couldn't handle someone so close, not only physically as he was right there, but also mentally. Even though I so wanted to kiss him, to see how he tasted, to made my dreams come true. I couldn't, not now, now there... maybe not even ever. So I did what was the best for me, for both of us. I pulled apart and walked around Kevin to get the cutting board.

As I stood on his left opening the cupboard I could hear him sigh, but what I didn't know was if it was a relieve sigh or a regret sigh. I couldn't blame him, right now I didn't even know it myself.

I took out the cutting board and move towards the island in the kitchen, where I had left all the vegetables. I let out a sigh, something was going on with me. I knew it. But at the same time I didn't know it, I had never felt like this.

'This is nothing, this is nothing' I kept repeating myself.

I've barely meet him, for Christ's sake!. Besides, only God knows if he's gay... and even if he is, he wouldn't never feel the same way, he could have anyone, why me?.

'Weren't you there!!!... he did, why else do you think he didn't move away!' my mind screamed at me.

But, of course, what I didn't know was that Kevin was thinking pretty much the same.

'It was a mistake, he did well on pulling apart. Then why do I feel like something in me has left with him' he asked himself. 'You barely even know him. Besides he's just a kid, he's 18 for God's sake!. You're about to turn 29; 11 years of difference. Also he's probably seeing Kate. He's not gay Kevin, you better accept this now before you get yourself into something that is not gonna have a happy ending'.

However, very deep inside him, he knew he was already there. He just couldn't accept it, not yet.

Without another thought about it I moved towards the sink with the vegetables and started washing them. I didn't want to turn, I knew that if I did then I'll have to face Kevin and I sure wasn't ready yet. I kept washing the vegetables, very carefully, wouldn't want them to be dirty, now would I?.

'Yeah, right!' yelled my mind at me 'you just don't want to face the music, so to speak!'.

It was right, I didn't know how I'd react seeing him again. As I was thinking about just leaving the salad as it was so he would, I felt a presence on my side. Instinctively I tensed up. I was sure it was him, somehow I just KNEW it was him. His cologne filling my senses, I was about just to drown on it!.

'Keep breathing... good, in... out' I had to repeat myself, didn't want to choke there.

I saw him picking up the lettuce that I've already washed and moved towards the island, then I heard him start cutting.

'Good, he's acting like nothing happened. Now, that's what you have to do' I heard myself say. So I complied.

I finished washing the vegetables and left them by the cutting board, so he could reach them when he was finished with whatever he was cutting at the moment. I went towards another of the cupboards (we've got a lot of them, what can I say!. Kate loves order: 'a place for everything and everything in it's place') and got out the oil, some salt, pepper and lemon and placed them on the other way of the island. I went over where he had left the vegetables and put them on the bowl, then mixed them with the condiments. When he finished with the tomatoes that were the last, he put them by my side, then stood there. Now moving, not talking. Just there, looking at me. I finished with the condiments and took a bit of the salad.

Then, I did something I still can't believe I did!. I filled a fork with some salad and held it out for him. He looked at me hesitatingly. I couldn't blame him after what had just happened!. I held his gaze, not wanting to let go, but at the same time needing to run away. I think he found whatever he was looking for there because he bend forward and brought his lips to the fork. I eased the fork inside, his narrow lips pressed tightly against the cold metal of the fork. Quietly I breathed in, I was loosing myself in his lips, so firm against the piece of cutlery. They were so tight and soft, who would it be kissing him?, how would he tasted? I asked myself.

'Cut it out!' my mind yelled at me 'this isn't helping and you know'.

I was right, or at least my conscious was right. I couldn't keep doing this. I'd end up hurt in the end when the time came to face reality. I let out the breath that I was holding as he gazed upon me. His sapphire green eyes were bottomless for me, I was lost in them, I could see...

Suddenly I pulled the fork out of his mouth and left it over the sink with a loud 'plink'.

"Done." I said in a cold voice.

I took the bowl and headed over to the living room. I could see Kevin standing exactly where I had left him. I didn't turn around, I couldn't. I knew I had to go on with my life, I had to pushed down whatever feelings I was having for him. It was the best... Now, all I had to do was convince myself.

*****

Kevin let out a sigh as he saw Matt leaving the kitchen.

'Way to go Richardson. Now not only have you put yourself in two very compromising positions, but you might have lost his friendship as well' he thought. He just couldn't believe what had just happened, in less than 20 minutes they had been way too close for anyone's liking... twice.

He didn't blame Matt at all, after what had just happened, he probably thought that Kevin was hitting on him. 'Ok, now just leave the kitchen and act like nothing ever happened. He's probably telling Kate right now how you were coming onto his boyfriend.'

With that clear in his mind, he took a couple of breaths and resumed his way towards the living room. He didn't know if he could face Matt right now, however he just couldn't stay on the kitchen for the rest of the evening. 'It's either now or never' he thought 'but why can't it be the never?'

*****

I came in the living room and looked around. Kate and Nick were over the couch chatting like school friends. 'I so need to talk with her!'. Howie, Brian and AJ were over the armchair talking about god knows what.

"Here's the salad." my voice as steady as I could muster it.

"It was about time!" said Kate, her eyes asking a silent question. "I was gonna go in there if you didn't come out soon."

"Sorry babe, but it took me long enough to find the vegetables. You didn't go to the market, now did you?" I knew it wasn't the reason, but I had to make up a story.

"Sweetie I'm sorry, I was gonna go before we got here from classes, but --" Kate tried to finished, but I cut her in.

"It's ok love, just remind me of going tomorrow, k?" With a smile on her face she nodded. I'd bet that she knew it wasn't the reason why it took me this long, besides, we had just gotten to the market about two days ago. She was just covering it up for me. Such a lovely girl.

After our little interaction, I didn't notice Brian looking over at the kitchen door where stood a still dump founded Kevin, concern and questioning on his blue eyes. Kevin realizing that his cousin had probably just read his mind, he just held his gaze with the younger man, reassurance in his piercing green eyes.

Slowly Kevin made his way towards his cousin and his other two band mates.

'Calm down Kevin, you were right. He is with Kate. See, you were just seeing things you wanted to see' he told himself, however he knew it didn't help the hurt in his heart. 'You ARE NOT in love with him. You barely know him and he's just a kid, a college kid... but a great kid... STOP IT!' he sighed. He knew it was gonna be a long night.

Meanwhile I went over where Kate and Nick where talking.

"What ya talking about?"

"Nothing in particular. Just about life in college and touring. Telling him about our boring life."

"So, when is the pizza arriving?"

"They should be here any minute now. So, how's college?" he asked turning to me.

I looked over at Kate and smiled. "Same old, same old. Studying and reading, the usual. I bet your life is more interesting than ours."

"I wouldn't bet my money on that Matt. I mean, sure it's cool to perform and I love it, but sometimes you just get kinda tired."

"It happens with everything. You may love what you do, but there comes a point that just laying down and not thinking about anything isn't a bad idea. However, you just have to keep up with whatever comes ahead of you. Giving up is never the answer."

Somehow I just knew she wasn't talking about 'job' at the end of her small speech. As I was about to say something, the doorbell rang. So I stood up and went over the door. There stood a young kid, maybe a year older than me, with 5 pizzas in his hand.

"Mr.-- " he said as he looked over at the bill "Matt Caldwell?"

"Yeah, that's me" I took over the pizzas. God, this guys were hungry!. I motioned for Kate to come to help me, as she took over the pizzas I looked at the kid. "How much?"

"77.50"

I looked in my walled and handed him a hundred bill. "Keep the change." I thanked him and closed the door.

"You shouldn't have done that. We were planning to pay."

"It's cool, you guys get to pay next time". 'If there is a next time, after what just happened with Kevin, I don't think he'd let them come over and play' "What is it with the five pizzas guys!?"

"We're hungry. Besides, we're seven now." said AJ with a smile.

It was good that the guys thought of Kate and me as part of the group. I moved towards the couch. "Are we eating here or in the dinning room?"

"Here is cool."

So with that, we all sat in the floor in a circle. Nick and Kate were at my sides. Howie and AJ were by Nick's left, and Brian by Kate's right. Kevin, well as you might have assumed by now was right in front of me.

We sat there and started to eat. Kate had gone and gotten us a couple of cokes, not even bothering to ask about beers. Tomorrow it was working day, so she thought it'd be safer just to have coke.

I stood up for a moment and walked towards the dinning room and retrieve 7salad plates and cutlery for it. I put some salad in each plate and handed it over. I so didn't want to look at Kevin while eating the salad, I knew that from this day on I wouldn't be able to have salad without remembering that little incident.

"This salad it's pretty good."

"Yeah. Still, I don't know why we have to have salad. I'd rather just have pizza" said Nick in a childish voice.

"Well, you have to put a balance between what you eat, don't ya think?"

"Yeah, I know. Kevin always makes us have salad. And I don't like lettuce!"

Despite myself I looked over at Kevin, we held each other's gaze for a moment before he looked down and I turned towards Nick. "Lettuce is good for you, you know." Hoping that my voice sounded calm and steady.

He smiled at me and continue eating. I finished the salad as quick as I could and started with the pizza. I wasn't that hungry, but I thought if I ate quicker, then maybe we'll watch the next movie and then call it a day.

"So, are you and Kate going out?" asked Brian with a very serious expression.

Well, let me tell you that I almost choke on my coke!. I looked over at Brian and could see that Kevin was shooting daggers with his eyes at Brian. Whatever had happened, Brian was gonna have to face one hell of a mad cousin.

"What?" Ok, it was pretty lame, but I was trying to come out of my shock!

"I asked if you and Kate are going out." His eyes were cold, expressionless.

"Well, not that it is of any importance. But no, we're not going out." My voice neutral. I didn't know why, but it had really bugged me him asking it.

"Why not?" asked Nick this time. I could tell that he was just being inquisitive, while Brian was being hurtful.

"Yeah, you two seemed to be really in tune and everything. And you do act like you're together." continued AJ.

"Well, we're just too close I think. We've known each other for just too long, I don't think we could work out as a couple, we're great as friend, but as a couple... I just don't think so." finished Kate.

Of course that wasn't the main reason, but I wasn't gonna tell them the truth just yet!.

"I'm not looking for a relationship right now." It wasn't the whole truth, but I was right in a way. "Studying medicine can really take all your time away, I wouldn't have time for hi--" I almost choke!, I was about to say 'him' "that person. I don't think that's fair to the other part. I'm happy as I am right now. Love relationships can wait" I finished with a smile.

Kate glared at me, she knew it was a lie. I did wanted a relationship, someone to love me for who I was... to understand me and respect me. However I knew that was kinda difficult to find, so I had made my mind and decided that I wasn't gonna look for it. If I was meant to be with someone, I'd met that 'someone' someday... and things would just happen.

"Besides" I turned around to see her. "You just aren't my type darlin'."

She smacked me in the arm. "Keep that up and you'll have lunch alone tomorrow."

A smile on my lips and my eyes sparkling with love, I continued. " 'That you should know my heart, look into it; finding there the memory and experience that belong to you -- that are you --' " It was a line from Memento Mori that Scully had written in her journal for Mulder, it just seemed to fit in the moment.

She gazed back at me, I could tell that line had touch her. She'd recognize it anywhere. I've recited the whole passage from that ep. a thousand times, but that line just held a special place in my heart. She knew that whatever happened between us could be fix with words of love. Unspoken love sometimes.

"You would make a cute couple, you know that."

"Yeah, both our parents have been trying to pair us up for sometime now. But they are cool with our relationship as it is now."

After that we just continue eating, pretty much in silence. However Nick and I would make a comment here and there about the 7^th season and the change in the interaction between Mulder and Scully.

"I do feel like they've change, you know. Rush proves it right, Scully did looked jealous when Mulder looked over at Chastity."

"Yeah, I know what ya mean. It remained me so much of Syzygy." It was a chapter when Scully had been all jealous, everything because of the conjunction of the planets.

Nick laughed at the memory. " 'I just never thought your little feet could reach the pedals' " Quoting a line from the episode.

"Yeah!, remember Scully's face when she told him: 'Well, you two seem to have a certain... simpatico. I'm going back to Washington in the morning.'"

"Yeah, it was priceless!"

We kept talking about the best episodes when I saw that Brian and Kevin were glazing over at me from time to time. I was starting to feel kinda uncomfortable. I didn't want Kevin to be bothered but what almost happened back in the kitchen.

Kevin sighed and looked down at his pizza, he wasn't that much hungry, he had been full with the salad. 'The salad' he thought. He didn't want to remember it, thinking about it would only make him feel worst. Someway, somehow, he just couldn't forget the idea of Matt being so close to him. His breath against his chin, the unbearable desire of just closing the little space that lay between them. Wanting to feel his touch, his lips. Kevin closed his eyes tightly, remembering it right there, with the guys around him wasn't helping at all. He opened his eyes and looked over were Matt stood, Nick next to him, the blonde's arm on the younger man's shoulder and suddenly Kevin just wanted to take a swim against Nick. He knew his band mate was just being friendly, talking about x-files probably, however it didn't help the need to just touch him one more time. Even just once.

The dark haired man looked down at his pizza laying on a napkin, not wanting to stain the floor with grease drops, he took the slide of pizza and bit it. He knew he should be enjoying it, since he didn't like the guys having pizza for supper, he never had it either, so tonight he should be devouring it, like the rest of the guys were doing. Once again he felt trapped, he didn't want to be there right now, he wanted to be in his house, in his bed, where he could have a drink and swallow in self pity for as long as he could tolerate it. Besides that, tomorrow they were completely busy. He had some meetings in the morning, he knew it'd take longer than planned, and in the afternoon they had practice with Fatima. She had told them that the old choreography just wasn't 'doing it' and she was planning on changing most of the choreographs.... he was gonna die before learning them all, that he knew.

'Just let this night get over with and I'll forever be grateful to you' thought Kevin upon the heavens. 'Just let me arrive home without any interruption or embarrassment of any sort'

I looked around the guys, the pizzas had been long ago gone, only one slice stayed on one of the boxes, the one that was meant for Kate and I, we hadn't eaten that much, I barely had 4 slices and Kate just 3. However Nick had been eating most of mine and Kate's slice, taking a bit here and there. I thought it'd been good to call it a day, I was sure the guys had stuff to do and really didn't want to bother them.

I stood up and started picking up the empty boxes, Kate helping me with the salad plates and empty coke cans.

"I'll help ya."

I turned around and looked at him. I had to accept it, he did looked adorable with that boyish grin and golden hair. "It's ok." I just couldn't help but smile at his good looks and still good manners. "I've got it."

Kate and I moved towards the kitchen and dumped the boxes and cans in the waste basket and she put the plates in the washing machine. Turning around she glared at me, her eyes full of concern. "We have to talk."

Damn!, I cursed myself. I didn't think I could deal with her inquisitive mind just now, not even later. "Later."

"Sure, after they are gone." she looked at me thoughtfully, trying to see my soul. After a minute her smile reappeared in her lips.

Sighing in relieve I moved towards the sink and splashed some water on my face, then dry it with a washcloth. 'Just finish this night, and then, you won't see them again.'

We walked out of the kitchen, my arm around her waist holding her close to me... pretty territorial I guess. By the time we got to the living room the guys had resume their positions for another movie. I scorted Kate to her sit and then sat myself. I did notice that Kevin was as much on the other side of the couch as he could muster, not wanting to be beside me. How could I blame him after what had been going on. I was planning to trade sits with Kate, but that'd be just too obvious.

"What do we watch now?"

I turned around and saw Kevin looking back at me, I could truly get lost in his sapphire green eyes. He looked down and then turned to Howie.

"Maybe we should call it a day, it's... " he said as he looked down at his watch "9.50. I'm sure you guys have got classes tomorrow morning and we've imposed enough", turning around he glared at the guys, silently 'telling' them to stand up and leave.

"It's ok, we don't have classes that early in the morning."

I didn't move nor said a thing, after all if they did wanted to watch another movie, I wouldn't mind. I didn't want to screw everyone's fun just because I was feeling awkward. I would just stay where I was and not talk at all. Then they'll leave. Period.

"C'on Kevin, we don't have nothing in the morning. Let's just watch another movie." said Nick with a smile.

"It's late."

"Nick's right, just another one, we'll leave as soon as it finishes." said Brian looking at his older cousin straight in the eye.

Kevin sighed. He knew they were right, staying a little bit more wasn't gonna hurt anyone, but he still didn't wanna stay. "Just one movie." he said with his best fatherly tone.

"Yep!"

I just stood there in my sit, breathing as calmly as possible. 'Just an hour and half' I told myself 'Deal with this and then just forget this ever happened'

"Perfect Storm?" AJ asked.

The guys just nodded, he stood up and put the video in the VCR.

About 20 minutes in the movie I was lost. I wasn't paying much attention to it. I had never been very fond of George Clooney and the situation just didn't help at all. I sighed and just resume my duty watching the screen, not really seeing what was going on. I just wanted this night to end. I looked over at the clock, each second seemed to last hours. Sighing again I close my eyes for a moment.

After an eternity, even thought it was only 1 hour and 33 minutes, the movie ended. It was already 11.40pm and I was dying just for my bed. I stood up and turned off the VCR and the Tv, the guys looked exhausted and doubted that they didn't have anything to do tomorrow. I thought it was pointless, after all I had 9am Chemistry 3 for 4 hours. If I could deal with that then they could deal with whatever they had to do.

"I think NOW we can call it a day." said AJ standing up, helping Howie to his feet as well, I could hear Howie popping his back.

"I'm too old for the floor, next time you take it J."

"C'on, you ain't that old, Kevin's old." he said smiling at his eldest 'brother'.

Kevin just turned around and glared at him, he wasn't in the mood for anyone's jokes, and just by looking at them with 'that' look they knew joking about him was out of the question.

"We had a great time Matt, Kate, thanks." said AJ with a killer smile.

"Sure, it was our pleasure."

"What about going out tomorrow?" asked Nick looking at Kate and me.

I looked over at her, pleading her to turn him down gently. I didn't know if I could handle being with Kevin in the same room anytime soon.

Seeing our hesitation he continue. "Just the three of us. To catch up in x-files."

I hold myself before letting out a sigh of relieve. Smiling upon him I answered. "Sure, I've been wanting to talk about the mythology arc with someone for a long time already."

"Cool. What if you and Kate pick me up at the studio, we've got rehearsal with our choreographer from 11am to 4.00pm, think you can make it?"

"Yeah, we'll be there."

Nick took out a piece of paper and wrote the address and then handed it to Kate. "Great see you tomorrow then."

With that we made our goodbyes, Kevin and I just nodding at each other. After I closed the door I leaned upon it for support. "Thanks God."

"Now, are you gonna tell me what was that all about?"

I sighed like for the nth time that night. "Forget it, it was nothing."

"Nothing your blindness. Something happened."

"Look, I'm just too tired to talk about it right now. Tomorrow, I promise."

"Ok Matt, tomorrow you'll not be off the hook so easy"

"I know" I took her hand and lead the way towards the room, after kissing her goodnight in the forehead and moving towards my room. I just dumped myself on the bed, glad I had make it through the night.

'Just forget it. Forget it.'

*****

Kevin made his way towards his car, each one of the guys had gone their way to their cars, wanting nothing else but their beds at the moment. He could hear footsteps behind him. 'Just what I need' he thought sadly. 'Brian following me'

Knowing it was only matter of minutes before his younger cousin approached him, he decided to take the lead and he turned around to a very startled Brian. "Save it ok. I'm not talking" and with that he turned around and got into his car in one movement.

"Kevin--"

"No Brian. Period. See you tomorrow in practice" and with that he left.

Brian just sighed and walked towards his own car, he'd approach him later.

Kevin looked down the road, heading to his house by instinct. "It was nothing" he said aloud. Wanting to believe it himself. "Nothing."

"Then why don't I feel like it? Why do I want to see him and touch him... and kiss--" his mind answered him back, he didn't even notice he was talking to himself aloud!.

"No!" he answered himself. "It's pointless, nothing good will come out of this. Save yourself the pain Kevin."