Lucky for you I have found a solution: Cyber-Aerobics!

I am going to lead you in my famous (and first) Cyber-Aerobics workout. We'll take a few moments for those of you who want to put on sweats or other comfortable, non-binding clothing.

OK, comfy now? Let's go!

First we need to stretch and warm up a bit. Take your right hand and reach s-l-o-w-l-y all the way over to the Escape Key at the upper left of your keyboard. Now s-l-o-w-l-y return it and press Enter.

Next take your left hand and reach to the Home Key. Once again. Slowly. There. How does that feel?

Now I'm going to put on some music as we work out to the beat. Everybody ready? Here goes!

Page up, page down, page up, page down. Can you feel it? Remember, no pain no gain. Now watch me. This is a little tricky. Insert, two, three, four. Backspace, two, three, four. Again, two, three, four. You're getting it, now four more. Feel that where it hurts. Hmm, good.

Before you cool down, I want you to scroll as fast as you can for five minutes. Everybody at their own pace. I'll wait right here.

Whew! What a workout!

If you bought that, I'll be happy to sell you my Psycho-Aerobics Workout tape. That's where we visualize ourselves working out.

Don't forget to shower.

Ma Barker (Cooling down in Paradise)