Pregnancy Loss Page Three

The following information was obtained from a University of Maryland Bereavement Counselor. Most of these suggestions apply to the loss of a baby at a greater gestational age than in a "miscarriage". But, some of the ideas could still apply. As for me, I am writing and constructing these pages

in dedication to our lost baby. Some mothers have talked aobut creating a piece of jewlery with the birthstones of all their children, including the birthstone for the month of the due date for their lost baby. One of the women who e-mailed me did this very thing with a pendant.

Making Memories

Saying goodbye to a baby who has died is very difficult. Not only must you say goodbye to a part of you, but also must say goodbye to a dream and your plans for the future. All of this can occur before you were able to say hello. There is no one right way for parents to say their goodbyes. We offer these suggestions to help you show your love for your baby and to help you make memories that will help comfort you in the months ahead.

See your baby, hold your baby, bathe and dress you baby.
Name your baby, refer to the baby by name.
write a letter, poem or story to your baby or in memory of your baby
Make a memory book or box, or a shadow box frame. Include footprints, ID bands, lock of hair, photographs, blanket, clothing, stuffed animals, sympathy cards. You may also want to save mementoes from your pregnancy: pregnancy test, ultrasound pictures, photographs, maternity clothes.
wear a heart (my hear is always with you), a pendant, a ring. Have it engraved with your baby's name and date of birth or death.
Plant a tree, bush, flowers-something that grows.
Donate a tree, plaque, flowers, something special to you in memory of yur baby, to a church or other organization.
Have your baby's name engraved in stone or brass and mounted somewhere meaningful to you and your family.
Make your own memorial needlework, quilt, drawing, flower garden.
Make a memorial using baby's name, write something special for each letter, e.g. A adored, angel, alone
M my baby, memories
Y Yearing, you're lost to me, yes, I love you
Have a funeral or memorial service to say goodbye and allow friends and family to say hello and goodbye.
Anniversary dates and holidays can be difficult. Spend time on these days with someone close to you.

Pregnancy Loss Links
Personal Stories of Loss

Parent Soup Miscarriage and Other Lost Pregnancies Discussion Group

Heavenly Playground A Bereavement Site For Children

To Those Who Have Had Miscarriages

Grief Resources

Hygeia An Online Journal For Pregnancy and Neonatal Loss

Miscarriage Support

INCIID General Infertility Bulletin Board . A tremendous source of information. There are several discussion groups, one of them is on the topic of miscarriages.

Coping with the Emotional Aspects of Pregnancy Loss

Links to other pages dedicated to pregnancy loss, the loss of an infant or of a child
Memorial Page to Kayla and Joey
Portrait of an Angel
The Smallest Angels A memorial Wall for Infants Lost to SIDS
I hope you find comfort A personal page dedicated to three babies lost through miscarriage
A personal page aboout thhe loss of two little angels through miscarriage
Our Empty Nursery
A Miscarriage Ritual

Links to Pages with Angel Graphics
To construct these pages, I searched hundreds of Web sites with angel graphics. Some of these links are the source of graphics used, others are sites I just happen to like.

Mb's Angel Pages
AngelBee's Homepage
Lori's Angel Pages

Gifts from the Heart
During the few days thaat I was actively having the miscarriage, we received such an abundance of support from our friends and our cyber friends. This support made a world of difference. The following are quotes from my memory box of the e-mails that touched our heaarts.

Dear Nadine and Lee,
This is sad news. Your baby is STILL a blessing, because this baby brought you hope at a time you two really needed it. I'm sorry you are losing him or her. But hang onto that gift this child brought to you.
Lisa

It seems to me that the only people who truly understand what you are going through are other women who have been there too. Good luck with everything, it isn't always easy, don't be afraid to reach out and get help if you need it! Take care of yourself
Michelle

But love is a wonderful thing even when it includes loss. I think that carrying a baby is a wonderful gift even if you carry it for a short time. I found out it was a privlage after I sorted everything out. Be patient with yourself, emotionally and physically. Talk to anyone who will listen. Take time to heal and don't let anyone rush you. Mourning your loss shows people what a comapassionate woman you are and how important your children are to you. I will be praying for you on Monday when you have your D&C. It is a much healthier way to go. It will also get you onto the road of healing sooner. That is the way I went. We did name our baby and we planted a tree with our other 2 children for us to remember our baby in Heaven . Do what feels right for you to say goodbye.
Love, Heather.

Don't give up hope. Rely on friends and family for support. Again I'm really sorry for your loss. Sincerely
April

Nadine,
Oh my goodness! My heart goes out to you in such a big way. What you must be going through right now must be extremely trying. My prayers are with you. This is a life changing experience and I think of my baby in heaven constantly and it helps me so much to have these conversations with other people who also have babies there too. Please Nadine, feel free to keep these conversations up once you've made it through this wkd. You will make it through. Use you faith and all your loved ones around you. Always be aware of your feelings and give yourself time to grieve. This is a time about you and your husband. And although your husband is hurting too, it's not quite the same. I am going to end now but I am certainly not stopping thinking about you. God be with you. Write when you can, I am anxious to hear from you and know you're o.k.
Anita

Best of luck to you and hubby.
Dan

Dear Nadine:
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I think this was one of the most difficult things I experienced.
Wendy

take care, and keep trying. It will happen
Georgette

Really sorry. Maybe this was just a reheasal for the next time. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Love ,
Corinne

I hope you're doing better...take care of yourself,
Jill

I started to cry when I read your post, so I knew I had to write you. If you want to talk I am willing! Best Wishes,
Jackie

Nadine and Lee,
I am very sorry you both had to go through this. It is so very difficult to lose a baby. I am very glad that you didn't need to go through a d&c as well. Take care of yourselves ... Nadine, keep taking your prenatal vitamens untill they run out. You have been under an enormous amount of stress with all this career and legal crap ... you need to build your health back up, you should try B complex too! Maybe after things settle down and you feel stronger ... Well .... I love you guys and share in the grief you are feeling Lots of love to both of you! A BIG HUG ......
Laura

I am so sorry for your loss--with time it will ease up. There is never the right thing to say when this happens, only that I hope you and hubby can be happy in the future. I hope you're feeling better now.
Jeannie

AWARD

Please visit this mother's webpage and offer your support as she and her family grieve the loss of a child.

Thank you for the beautiful award. I am truly honored to place it on these pages. My husband and I extend to you our deepest sympathies for your loss.

This Empty Arms Ring site is owned by Nadine.
Click for the [Previous] [Random] [Next Site] Skip Next] Next 5]