she never liked him...
heard awful stories
about drinking
violence

but I was in love
expecting our first child
and she held my hand

what happened to your face
she asked, touching the bruise -
I got hit with a surfboard I said
busying myself with mashing potatoes,
I couldn't look her in the face

her shoulders sagged
recognizing the lie
 - it ran in the family;
pain washed her face
she squeezed me
I love you, she said

daily calls
became checkpoints
you okay? 
can I come over?
everything alright?

no longer within
her bear-mother protection
she could only worry
light candles
to patron saints
pray

she held my hand
while I labored prematurely
after suffering near mortal wounds
at the hands of the abuser
the one who loved me
who visited, cried, sent flowers
bought a new diamond ring

she always held my hand



Copyright, Barbara Gari Serio, 1998