i hide within, you cannot win
please just let me go
i care for you, that much is true
but pain is all i know
i learn from hate, my worthless state
can never really heal
you look upon, each rising dawn
as if this beast could feel
so long ago, i died you know
under lover's hate
this pain is me, its all i see
it is my worthless fate
my beauty died back when i cried
for the final time
the hurt i feel is under seal
in this soul of mine
yet you look, upon this book
as if i am a pearl
i show my mind yet all you find
is a troubled girl
look at me, what do you see
now that i am here
can you feel this pain so real
or see this tiny tear?
i tell you all about my fall
from a child's grace
but do you see what's really me
without this child's face?
the thoughts you bring, on them i cling
never letting go
i cry so much for his touch
yet its you i know
i know you care, but you'll not there
yet is this really true
somewhere i hide so deep inside
hiding just from you
5/24/98 Five Minutes
tonight i asked you if you cared
but you shook your head
i longed to hear another answer
it was the truth that i fled
the tiny words hurt so much
and so i turned away
i ran from pain and unseen eyes
and the things you say
why can't you see, i'm all alone
dying in this night
i looked to you for comfort
but you shed no light
my words now sound so stupid
as i ramble all alone
wond'ring why you hurt me
buried under stone
you said i could depend on you
for every little whim
but now that storms are rising
i'm out upon a limb
i guess i was mistaken
you never really cared
i used to be so strong
but now i'm really scared
can i ever make it
and will i let you go
i give the world my smiles
but pain i cannot show
you smile at my weakness
and scorn my aching soul
but the hate you give me
slowly fills the hole
i learn right now, to hate you
and give away my pain
but if dying lasts forever
it forever, fills my veins
feeling so alone
throughout this quiet night
i looked to you for comfort
but you shed no light....
minutes last forever
hours dig a hole
living in this hatred...
five minutes kills the soul