sitting here, just thinking
of the times we had
thinking of that happiness
that left me here so sad

i miss your glowing smile
and gentle, quiet grace
i miss the warming love
that used to filled your face

those words i'll never hear
the kiss i'll never feel
these things hurt so much
will these wounds ever heal?

thinking of that child
that i used to be
these times i get so lonely
but you'll never see

you turned away in hatred
and scorned me for my pain
you left me, though i tried
it seems i fought in vain

for now the months pass
i never hear a word
though i strain and listen
you, i never heard

i wonder if you cared
through the time were spent
i said i'd love forever
it was those words, i meant

did you really know this?
or take it for a lie?
i cried for your hatred
the tears will never dry

wond'ring why you left
the problems i could fix
but that time will show
hate and love don't mix

you cannot hate my longings
and love my petty soul
for those obsessions
are what had made me whole

without them i am better
that much is true
but now, life's not worth it
now...without you

searching through the depths
of my twisted soul
looking for the bullet
that made the bleeding hole
i'm searching for the answer
to why i'm so alone
wond'ring why i'm bleeding
and why the hole has grown
the pain, it does not hurt me
it only fills my mind
i'm watching for the doorway
while down the stairs, i wind
getting only closer
to an unseen end
looking through this wasteland
alone, without a friend
loneliness can fill me
but it doesn't stop the tear
it only fills the darkness
that feeds, my growing fear
i feel the trouble leave me
only time remains
voices call within me
reminding me of pains
pains i never had
and hurts i cannot feel
searching for the answer
but can i ever heal?

before you made me laugh
and cry all at once
you made me forget forever
and live throughout the months

i lived without knowing
and died within time
i lived for the memory
of what, once, was mine

but now, i sit and wonder
why i ever stayed
troubled by your absence
decisions have been made

only one thing keeps me
from leaving you right now
the love i can't get rid of
because i know, not how

every little piece
that makes me so unwhole
fills with love to give you
although it eats my soul

will you ever notice
that love cannot end?
or stay long enough
to stop and be my friend