11/18/98 Today
you left me today. i don't know what to do. i keep expecting to see you. i keep listening for your voice. i realize, again and again, that you're gone. i feel empty...and lost. Another part of me died today. All I could do was to make the music scream while i cried. angel feathers came true. what am i supposed to do with myself now? i was you. i was an extension of you. What am i now? you make me so angry. how could you do this? you wouldn't even tell me the truth. why couldn't you just give me that much? why did you do that? i feel betrayed...bewildered by this abandonement. my eyes burn with unshed tears...tears i can't cry. you used to love me. now you don't even want to talk to me. what am i supposed to think? the two people i loved most, left me...all in one year. you left me today..exactly one year and one week from the last....i believe i've discovered the problem.....