Chapter 8

Jess sighed softly, then shut off her computer and left the room, almost bumping right into Susanne. She was carrying the regular bowl of popcorn, except tonight she had mixed in M&M's, Starbursts, and licorice bits to 'add flavor' to the otherwise dull taste. Not catching the disappointment written in her friend's eyes, Susanne grabbed Jess' arm and guided her to the dining room, where the others were waiting. "Are we ready, then?" Pam asked. Ten lit candles were scattered around the table, providing their only source of light, and their scents filled the room with a half- heavenly, half-nauseating smell. A variety of sandwhich supplies rested on a platter in the center of the display, with a healthy supply of snack food surrounding it. Susanne set her bowl down, and the two newcomers took their seats.

"Um, yeah," Katrie said. "I think we have everything we need."

"The hostess wouldn't be allowed to know what's going on, would she?" Jess asked. She looked around the table, and was met with four mischevious grins and giggles.

"OK, Jess," Betsy finally replied. "For the past two nights we've watched movies, right? And we haven't really done some good old, down and dirty chatting, right? So, Pam and I were talking, and we decided that instead of watcing the "Gay Divorcee" for the millionth time, we'd make a very elegant meal and talk all night." Jess looked around the table skeptically. "Yes, dear, we kind of got off the elegant part just a little."

"I'd say," Jess agreed. "But this is good. I suppose I can allow it, but Fred and Ginger might feel a bit overlooked. So, what's the topic?"

"That is the question, isn't it?" Katrie asked. "Susanne and I came up with a very 'second grade' way of figuring it out. We wrote down a bunch of topics on little pieces of paper, shuffled them, and put them in a little cereal bowl." She pointed to where it was sitting next to a bag of potato chips. "And now, since you had no idea this was going to happen, and didn't do anything to get it ready- you can pick a topic from the bowl."

"Alright." She reached over and plucked a piece of paper from the pile. Reading it aloud, she said,"Marriage- past, present, future, thoughts, opinions, and feelings towards it. Wow, that's quite a topic."

"Well, it had to be something to keep us busy for at least an hour or two," Susanne said. "And Katrie said she didn't want to talk about her own wedding for the whole night,so this gets everyone into the conversation, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does," Katrie said. "Very well, in fact. So, who should start." They all looked at her, and she curled her lip in disgust. "OK, but I hope you know you're all a bunch of dorks. Where should I start?"

"At the beginning, of course," Betsy replied. "It's a very good place to start."

"Alright. I'll tell you how we met. See, every year my kindergarten class puts on a little skit for the holiday concert. Two years ago, our little Santa Claus' parents couldn't make it, so his uncle, Paul, brought him. At the last minute, I find out Mrs. Claus has come down with the flu, so I decide to just suck it up and play her part myself. After our performance, Santa dragged Paul to our classroom to meet me. The rest, as they say, was history. He proposed last Christmas, right after he finished his charity work at our nearby homeless shelter. It was his job to hand out presents to the kids, so he was dressed in a Santa suit and everything when he gave me my ring. It was very corny."

"And yet, sweet," Betsy said. "Are you nervous about the wedding?"

"You know what?" Katrie replied. "Not really. I thought I'd be a mess, but when I think about Paul, it just seems right. Like we were destined for each other or something."

"Ah, the destiny theory of love," Pam interrupted. "I remember that one."

"Come on, Pam," Jess protested. "Don't you believe destiny makes people fall in love? That every romance is written in the stars?"

"Not at all," she replied. "Maybe fate can throw two people next to each other at a holiday concert, but it can't create love. You have to work at love, it requires serious elbow grease every day."

"But love is supposed to be effortless," Katrie said. "It's the one thing you can turn to that doesn't demand anything but your heart and your prescence. Love is not something a person can create. It's always there, hiding in the shadows. All it takes is a little recognition to shine through and change your life. And after it is realized, love will stay forever."

"Then how do you explain the people who fall out of love?" Susanne asked.

"That's not real love," Jess replied. "That's the idealistic 'liking' that they suffer from during their high school years. Their love begins and ends with thier similar personalities, and doesn't connect the deepest corners of their souls. That's the kind of love we're talking about, and no one can break the bonds it creates."

"Isn't this love you're describing just a little more idealistic than the so-called 'liking,' though?" Pam asked.

"But isn't love in itself idealistic?" Betsy said. "The idea that one person can complete your life, and make your entire existence happier simply because they are a part of it? It sounds like something out of fairy tales to me."

"Good point, Bets," Susanne commented. "And the way you said it, that love completes your life- does that make love essential? Do we need it in our lives? Must we at some point experience love?"

"To some degree, yes," Katrie replied. "It's important to feel a connection to another human being. Maybe not the kind of love I feel with Paul, but at least the love between friends or family."

"I completely agree," Jess said. "Falling in love is not necessary to live a happy life, but being connected to another person, another mind, another heart, is essential."

"So are you saying you would be happy without Alex?" Pam asked. Jess' face fell, and it took her a moment to respond.

"If I had never met Alex, and never fallen for him," she began. "then yes, I would be happy. Not the happiness I feel when I'm with him, but the happiness I felt throughout my entire life before I met him. That's what love does- it takes you to a higher level of happiness that you wouldn't experience without it. Not particularly necessary to live, but it is a nice little perk for having a heart."

"Amen to that!" Susanne replied, taking a gulp of rootbeer. "And speaking of Alex, won't you please tell us about this mystery man?"

"Oh, great, now we're on to my love life," Jess groaned. "Okay, well, you all know what he looks like, so I don't have to go into that..... um..... he works for a small computer agency about fifty miles from here. He's their Internet manager, which means he created and now handles their web page, and offers to make sites for some of their customers. He's actually stolen some of my business from me. Our local grocery store just got semi-computerized last year, and the owner wanted to sign up to the Internet. I offered to help her, but our schedules conflicted in every way possible, so she called up Alex to get him to help. She told him about me, and before he left he stopped by, out of curiousity. At the time, I was actually having some trouble with one of my computers, so he helped me to fix it. Then we got to talking, and before I knew it, he was driving down every weekend to see me. I think that's why our relationship went so long without any glitches. It kind of snuck up on me, so I couldn't find any faults in in that would justify a break-up."

"Yeah, I always noticed that about you," Betsy said. "Half the time it was like you went into a relationship already knowing how you were going to dump the guy three weeks later. You were so evil, and yet, so popular with the guys."

"Oh, not all that popular," Susanne said. "Your vision was just skewed because of Stalker George. Gosh, but those were fun times."

"Ugh, don't you dare bring him up!" Betsy exclaimed. "I was never in love with him, and I don't think he was really in love with me. It was like, I wanted a shoulder to lean on, he wanted to feel like he was supporting someone, and we were just convenient for each other. I'm so glad I realized that when I did. Can you imagine what would have happened if we had gotten married?"

"You would have killed each other," Pam said. "It wouldn't have even gone long enough for you to consider divorce. You would have just gone for the throat, and that would have been the end of it."

"Let's get back to Alex," Katrie interrupted. "I want to hear more. Like, how does Jess really feel about him?" Four smiled, and turned to the one in question, who ws quickly turning a blushing red.

"Oh, I don't know," Jess said. "I would say that he completes me, but I didn't feel empty before we met. I guess, maybe he compliments me. We don't merge into one single being- it's more two beings, just holding hands really tightly. It's wonderful, like you're indispensable, and vice-versa for him."

"This isn't the real Jess," Susanne said. "This is a stranger. What have you done with our Jess?" Everyone giggled, and Jess out and out guffawed.

"But seriously, my dear, this is quite a change for you," Betsy said. "I wonder if Alex even knows how good he is for you."

"He might," Jess agreed. "I told him a few stories, but I'm not sure he believed them."

"Well, good luck with that," Katrie said. "We need another wedding in this group, and since Betsy been hunting ants for two years, you really have no excuse not to find a mate before her."

"Hey!" said Betsy. "I'm very comfortable with my single existence. In a few months, maybe I'll find myself a kicking bachelorette pad, and no old married geezers allowed!"

"We'd have to get divorces, then," Katrie replied. "Right, Susie?"

"No, not me," she said. "In a few months, something more than just Ash will be keeping me in California."

"What are you talking about?" Pam asked suspiciously.

"Well, I wasn't going to tell you guys so soon, but I just called Ash last night and broke the news," she paused. "He was really excited, so I figure it wouldn't really be fair not to tell my best friends that........ I'm pregnant." Shrieks, 'Oh my gawd!'s and a multitude of other high-pitched noises filled the house.

"And so, the next generation begins!" Pam cried. "This is too much!"

"Weird, though," Jess said. "I mean, who would of thought one of us would ever have a child?"

"Who would of thought any of us would have graduated college and become adults?" Katrie asked.

"Oh, hush!" Susanne exclaimed. "You're making me feel old!"

"Well, now you're definitely not getting into my pad, darlin'!" Betsy warned. Susanne dropped her head onto the table, and her shoulders shook with silent laughter.

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